Clicking Sexually

I'm wondering how common it is for a guy not to "click" sexually with a provider. What I mean: everything works physiologically and there's plenty of rapport, but something is just missing. The physical interaction just never catches fire. I've had this happen on occasion, and usually it can be resolved with a follow-up visit (becoming more familiar or comfortable with the new acquaintance seems to help), but I recently had a series of encounters in which the problem just seemed to get progressively worse. I know a lot of that was due to my inability to shut my damn brain off, but I'm not sure that explains all of it. Does any of this sound familiar?

don't see turning the brain off as a step in the right direction. the brain is your best chance for a great sexual encounter. stop focusing on clicking sexually and think about clicking personally. you are a person. she is a person. if you can make a solid, personal connection; a rapport ... the sex will (imo) be better, more fun. this is the way it works for me, anyway.

An acquaintance told me about a session where he said they didn't click. He loves DATY and DFK but he said she wasn't really into him. I asked if he was freshly shaved and he said he shaved 2 days ago. I highly doubt they would have clicked if she tried to jerk him off with sandpaper.

The guys have a responsibility when they set up an appointment. Do everything possible to make them feel safe. Don't be creepy and send perverted messages. Don't get angry if she is late. Never ever bitch and complain to a provider. ESPECIALLY about your SO. Nobody wants to have sex with a miserable person and nobody wants to be reminded that you are cheating.

Just be happy and keep it simple. Trying to figure out something during a session is probably going to make things worse.

I have no idea what are the specifics in the challenges you are having but hopefully others can chime in.

All about the chemistry and charisma.

I've had situations where I had a regular and the excitement was no longer there...provider, knowing what I liked before, tries to repeat the performance over and over, and sometimes that just gets stale after a while...kinda like a marriage. LOL. I mean, I liked that position and "That Thing You Do", I really did...but I also want SOME spontaneity...some reciprocity of engagement...some new form of seduction. It's tough, I know...but that's perhaps why the answer is often just changing providers and moving on from previous regulars.

I have also had situations where the provider was more interested in texting or some RW issue/distracted, but they need the $$ (or don't want to cancel), and it definitely made for a poor environment for having a good time for anyone. Charisma zero, chemistry zero, even if they showed up on time and we did all the things I wanted to do. It happens.

That's what makes writing some reviews difficult...was this a "one time thing?", was this "only with me?"...writing that you won't return doesn't mean that the same provider couldn't be a BCD rock star on another day. But we all know that writing a "I won't return" review can release quite the drama.

Physically, you have to click at some level. I've had some providers that really don't want to BJ, prefer to have penetration...some providers that really want the BJ, don't really want the penetration...and you can tell in their attitudes even if all is technically on their menu...whether your desires and her desires match and form good chemistry is all about trial and error, ultimately.

But it happens to everyone if you are in this long enough.

^ Bang on the money here. Absolutely agree. :thumb:

That B.B. King song "The Thrill Is Gone" is stuck in my head now...

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Originally Posted by dodger

don't see turning the brain off as a step in the right direction. the brain is your best chance for a great sexual encounter. stop focusing on clicking sexually and think about clicking personally. you are a person. she is a person. if you can make a solid, personal connection; a rapport ... the sex will (imo) be better, more fun. this is the way it works for me, anyway.

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That's the kicker: we did have good rapport and something of a connection (I thought so, anyway). And I should clarify what I meant by not being able to turn off my brain: I sometimes had difficulty being "present" in the moment; it was as if my mind was elsewhere. That's on me and not her, obviously, but it was just weird that it happened as I'm normally a pretty focused guy.

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Originally Posted by Wolfenstein4096

That B.B. King song "The Thrill Is Gone" is stuck in my head now...

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I was sure that was the Eagles, now I see they performed ' After the Thrill is Gone.' I too can hear it in my head. Those were the days sitting in Lafayette Park getting blowjobs for $10, smoking, drinking w friends was kind of a mini Woodstock, tents set up etc. Long time ago. DC was still a small town. I miss the olden days. At the time a real popular guy all of us liked lived in the neighborhood in a huge house. His name was Ronald. Great guy. I forget what he did for a living but he was full of kindness, honesty, integrity and loved all people. The following will kill a session for me. I tell her ' Let's end it now' when this shit happens.

1) She stares at the walls; often an indication of state of mind.
2) She reaches down and/or keeps her hand down there making sure the condom is on and never slips; can't fuck some girl or enjoy it fucking their hand each thrust. These ' condom grabbers' usually are in and out of the business in no time.
3) ' hurry up and cum' or ' cum for me baby' or ' Sp****en/Sperma' ( cum in German, actually ' spray') or worse starts pinching your nipples. ALL 3 of those will only delay ejaculation or in my case ruin the session which is why I end it. Grab another

I am in complete agreement w some guys who hint at if you fuck a girl too many times ( think it was Spencer) that it gets old and it is very true; it is why we don't have wives or girlfriends or in some cases cheat on wives and girlfriends. Gets old. A pause is a good thing, return to her later and usually it's better than before.

' (After) The Thrill Is Gone'; either song works...

Happy hunting.

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Originally Posted by KosherCowboy

1) She stares at the walls; often an indication of state of mind.
2) She reaches down and/or keeps her hand down there making sure the condom is on and never slips; can't fuck some girl or enjoy it fucking their hand each thrust. These ' condom grabbers' usually are in and out of the business in no time.
3) ' hurry up and cum' or ' cum for me baby' or ' Sp****en/Sperma' ( cum in German, actually ' spray') or worse starts pinching your nipples. ALL 3 of those will only delay ejaculation or in my case ruin the session which is why I end it. Grab another

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This is a great list.

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Originally Posted by dodger

don't see turning the brain off as a step in the right direction. the brain is your best chance for a great sexual encounter. stop focusing on clicking sexually and think about clicking personally. you are a person. she is a person. if you can make a solid, personal connection; a rapport ... the sex will (imo) be better, more fun. this is the way it works for me, anyway.

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Right on!

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Originally Posted by SpencerTracy

All about the chemistry and charisma.

I've had situations where I had a regular and the excitement was no longer there...provider, knowing what I liked before, tries to repeat the performance over and over, and sometimes that just gets stale after a while...kinda like a marriage. LOL. I mean, I liked that position and "That Thing You Do", I really did...but I also want SOME spontaneity...some reciprocity of engagement...some new form of seduction. It's tough, I know...but that's perhaps why the answer is often just changing providers and moving on from previous regulars.

I have also had situations where the provider was more interested in texting or some RW issue/distracted, but they need the $$ (or don't want to cancel), and it definitely made for a poor environment for having a good time for anyone. Charisma zero, chemistry zero, even if they showed up on time and we did all the things I wanted to do. It happens.

That's what makes writing some reviews difficult...was this a "one time thing?", was this "only with me?"...writing that you won't return doesn't mean that the same provider couldn't be a BCD rock star on another day. But we all know that writing a "I won't return" review can release quite the drama.

Physically, you have to click at some level. I've had some providers that really don't want to BJ, prefer to have penetration...some providers that really want the BJ, don't really want the penetration...and you can tell in their attitudes even if all is technically on their menu...whether your desires and her desires match and form good chemistry is all about trial and error, ultimately.

But it happens to everyone if you are in this long enough.

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^^^^what Spencer said^^^^