Spring is here, and time to return to nature and get busy like the birds and bees! Doesn't the weather just make you feel like pollinating someone?

Well, come play in my garden bed of Irish delights, lad. We can start with a 90-minute planting session for 250 roses, continue deep fertilization for 2 & 1/2 hours for 350 roses, or enjoy the flowers and fruits of the harvest for an entire eve for 500 roses. I'm also available for overnight tilling and extended seed travel. Check out my colorful blossoms when you Visit My Website. Contact me for a cultivation consultation at 936-232-8590, or at my email. I'm available Tuesday through Saturday this week from noon to 10 p.m.

A little dose of Fancy will cure your root problem, darlin, and have you budding in no time.

ASPD Special: 50 roses off this week to new gardeners who wish to sink a hoe into my patch, or to any kind fellow who will write a Farmer's Almanac report on this Irish flower.

(A reminder, gentlemen, that this is as ephemeral as a spring shower's rainbow, and that the exchange of currency for the recreational application of Mother Nature's biology lessons is against the law of the land. You are compensating me for my time, companionship, and imaginative horticulture ability to make things bloom.)