I think a lot of it comes down to how would you feel if you found out your spouse is doing the same thing and do you want to risk destroying their life.

It doesn’t matter what the ‘cheater’ or person doing the act thinks of it, you cannot define other’s feelings and reactions to a situation. What matters is does your spouse view it as cheating. You can tell them all day it isn’t cheating but you won’t be mending a broken heart by saying their heartache is based on a lack of comprehension.