Everyone performs differently in any circumstance. That's why there is such a thing as "YMMV." I like to think it comes with chemistry though - even if a provider is shy (or a hobbiest, as well), once y'all really click, the dirty talk and the goofing around just happens. Is it something I'd LIKE to have in an appointment? For sure. But I'll totally understand if she has to warm up to me first.