The more I read your posts the more I realize you are a regular guy but simply have a quirky and very eccentric style of humor. Before that I honestly thought it was only a type of trolling but I see now that it's not.
In fact, I can see through your message my friend and can see the "silent" call for help, information, or suggestions. Or maybe it's just cathartic to express yourself? Very possible too. Either way it's a more true form of showing your "human" side and I applaud you for coming out and saying the things you did.
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself about the "mentally fucked up" for buying pussy thing, or that you don't even know how to have a regular relationship anymore. In addition, I'd say drop me a PM and we can discuss some of that if you really are troubled by it.
The main reasons or issues for male hobbying?
-MG