Zena,
I’ve participated in the lifestyle for a while, 20+ years or so. In my limited experience, the judgment is common, particularly with those vanilla friends and relatives. Even within the kink communities, there are activities that some find abhorrent, while others absolutely cannot love without said activity. The stark difference is that folks within the lifestyle generally won’t judge you for it, although the though your particular kink is anathema to them.

I get a different sense from your post...reading between the lines, I wonder if you’re exploring your own feelings about participating in the lifestyle. To that end, Aftercare is ridiculously important. Post-play “drops” are real and can be mitigated by a solid aftercare plan. They can occur in both Dominant and submissive. I have opinions; I’d like to avoid hijacking your thread though. If you’re curious, inquire away.

As long as you’re following the principle important to you (RACK or SSC) and take the time to find other like minded individuals, you’ll thrive and grow in the lifestyle. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

-Sarin