I am willing to bet money that I eat pussy better than you

[DragonX]

You know what, I really got to contemplating this and I have to say I KNOW I eat pussy better than any of you. How is that you ask, well I will tell you!!!

This also ties into the "how big is too big" thread with your BPEL and EG whatnots. That is all fine and dandy but when you have my problem, you HAVE to eat pussy so well you are asked to dine in again. And what is your problem, Dragon, you ask?

I got HUGE balls. Seriously, when you are hung like Horatio tit mouse with balls my size on the end of that little barrel....do you know how hard it is to find Kevlar condoms that small? Seriously. Catch one load from my big balls down my pea shooter, it will put your eye out. Lady says, Dragon, it is ok just put the tip in.....baby that is the WHOLE damn thing.

So see I have to be the best pussy eater out there cause with balls this big I HAVE TO BE!!!!!! And if I am not, I can just show you my huge balls and little dick getting you to forget how bad I may have been.

Do I win?

Dragon aka "Horatio tit mouse esq."

[Kitty bunny fuck]

Ok you win - when do I get serviced?

[DragonX]

Ok you win - when do I get serviced?

Whenever you so desire! Dragon mouse is at your service.

[mathguy]

So cup the balls and work the shaft. Sounds like a plan.

LMAO. I literally laughed out loud. Hahaha. Good one.

[risn2theoccasion2]

I once had a provider bitch me out for making her cum to much during a oral session. I guess something can be said for that.

[Groovy Johnson]

Ok, I digress...

There is only one gent that would give a lady a run for her money when it comes to dining at the Clam... And that fine fellow is Kfun12. Just saying.

Tommie
I KNOW you're trying to go low volume.
Dissing all of your clients,except one, should work.
Just saying.
LOL
GJ

[MarkWatney]

I wouldn't call that dissing. It's a pretty high bar to be able to please a woman like another woman can. So I don't think most guys would take it personally if they didn't make the cut.

[mathguy]

Does it make any difference how you approach the pleasure mound? Any tips? I'm an old hand at it, but you're never too old to learn new tricks.

Well, if you are serious, Mark, I can write an extended essay for you LMAO. Guilty. I have a bad habit of it, not just on sex stuff, as my friends frequently rib me about. Haha. Fuck it.

Anywho, depends on the girl. But honestly the BIGGEST problem IMHO, and what I've heard from many girls (not just in hobby culture either), is most guys simply don't pay attention to their partners body or they don't know enough about female anatomy. You need to communicate too. Each person likes it different so that's also a factor (this goes for you girls too). What I say below will just be my own personal general guidelines but communicate with your girl, find out what she likes, feel her body, pay attention to her movements, take her direction (vocal & nonvocal).

Cunnilingus General Guidelines :
1. Start slow. The clitoris is extravagantly more sensitive than a penis. The clit has 8,000 nerve endings (just in the clit - this is not even talking about the clitoral network of nerves that go into the vaginal canal and tummy where the g-spot would be found). The penis head has only 4,000.

2. Dry finger on clit is way bad. Never. The clit needs to be aroused first too. You can not just *attack* it straight away.

3. You typically want to begin with sucking the vulva slowing, licking up and down, sucking the various parts of the vulva. Vulva is the term for the entire anatomical area of the vagina which contains the labia major, minor, mons pubis, urethra, vaginal opening, clitoris..... Basically vulva is the catch-all term for sucking on all areas.

4. Spitting in your hand and wetting the entire vulva is virtually always a good idea prior to "diving in" but you can also just "squirt some spit" while you are sucking to keep the moisture up. Do not do this if you have a mouth infection you could transfer bacteria (but uncommon b/c the vagina is acidic). Saliva has a naturally slightly acidic Ph of 5 to 6. The vagina itself is quite acidic at 3.75 to 4.5. Sigh. I can't give a chemistry lesson on the potential of hydrogen (pH) and the alkalinity or acidity of different compounds but suffice to say that pH 0-1 is stomach acid/HCL/battery acid. pH 7 is neutral pure water. pH 13 to 14 is extreme alkalinity such as bleach/drain cleaner. A lemon is pH 2. Spitting is not the best option overall for general lube during penetration but the natural warmth and slight acidity which can match their pH is very nice for many women. The natural acidity of the vagina is what helps keep infection away. The main problem with saliva is that its water based. Water dissolves *fast* with friction and heat. This is why you always find yourself needing to keep squirting some spit (if the vagina is not already becoming quite wet naturally). Water based lubes dissolve fast.
PSA: DO NOT USE PETROLEUM/VASELINE/BABY OIL LUBRICANTS IF YOU PLAN TO USE A CONDOM AT SOME POINT. DESTROYS LATEX/RUBBER.
AND DONT USE THEM IN THE VAGINA AT ANY POINT - BREAKS THE NATURAL CHEMISTRY AND FLORA OF THE VAGINA GREATLY INCREASING RISK OF INFECTION.
Spit IMHO is the best option during *oral*
If you use a flavored lube for oral (or sex) make sure to rub it in your fingers some, warm it up, b/c it's cold usually.
When you turn the shower on do you wait a moment for it to warm up or do you love jumping into that freezing mess that is spraying out right away so you can send your body into what feels like hypothermic shock? LOL. Same deal.

5. At this point you are sucking/licking on the labia (both) and licking up and down the vulva canal. Possibly inserting some tongue her too. Highly dependent on the girl and her reactions. Lick up and down the entire vulva region as high as the clitoris (gently) and going down below the vulva to as far as the perineum (this is important for a good reason I'll explain later).

6. Main thing is want to be too terribly aggressive. Just like we don't want teeth on our dick they don't want it on their pussy (usually). And you aren't trying to suck a golf ball through a garden hose when you suck on any part of the vulva. You want nice long slow wet kisses and sucking.

7. If you hit a spot that seems to be doing the trick you will know pretty easily, listen to her moans and quivers, feel her body, ask her what she wants or does she like this or this, is there more natural moisture flowing? Do it all of the sudden get super wet? Guess what? She like that's area. Bingo! Concentrate there. Don't go mad. Don't go berserk like you just found a nest of Afghan Taliban and you have a .50 cal mounted machine gun. Just spend time there. Slow, wet, sensual. Kiss and suck. Slowly, wetly, gently. Caveat? *If* she says or motions otherwise.

8. Do not dart all over the place like a roach that is avoiding being smashed when the lights come on. That's aggravating to her. You hit a spot and then you are gone. Shit. Again, go slow. Pay attention.

9. The pussy and vulva by this time are now very well moisturized, the clitoris is likely fully engorged, and you can more easily suck on it albeit gently in most cases.

The entire vulva is something you want to pay attention to and that includes the outer lips, the inner lips, possibly inserting some tongue as it passes across the labia minor and the introitus (opening of vaginal canal).

Key areas are major nerve endings regarding the external vaginal region (including the perineum). Two of the largest and most powerful nerve centers are: #1 Dorsal Nerve of the Clitoris #2 Perineal Nerve (just below the vulva - region just below the bottom of the vulva and above the anus). You don't need to go that far down to get a nerve reaction.

The critical area for final orgasm is the clitoris itself....period. A full 50-75% of women absolutely cannot have a full orgasm from penetration alone and will require some form of direct clitoral stimulation. Typically that means external clitoral stimulation as in the case we are talking about with oral (as well as rubbing it, buzzing it, licking it). There are also internal clitoral orgasms which are much harder for most women to achieve. An example is the g-spot orgasm which is a form of internal clitoral stimulation and orgasm. The need for direct stimulation is obvious. That is why so many women will need to use a vibrator or will want their hand rubbing their clitoris even during penetration. This is super super common even if they are also capable of internal g-spot orgasm (it just means it's profoundly more intense and gratifying with likely skene secretion as well - squirting/gushing - though not always).

Many women like to be fingered during oral

Make sure fingers are moist. Also, make sure your fingernails are clipped/manicured. You don't want to slice/prick a girls insides.
Insert one or two fingers (index + middle), palm facing up. Do not start ramming your fingers in/out.
It's not a penis. The penis works b/c it's larger (even small ones). It fills the vaginal canal to a greater extent.
Whats the penis rubbing on when the canal is more engulfed? Nerves. Its hitting nerves which are part of the clitoral and vaginal network.
Penetration itself is not some "magic" action. Meaning there is not some sort of like pump or valve in a woman that when you penetrate eventually *pops* and causes orgasm. Nope. Its not like using a plunger on a toilet. Its not to create suction or to cause a vacuum reaction or do any such thing. Its just sliding of the penis in/out along the vaginal canal causing it to rub against nerves inside the vagina which are all part of the vaginal and clitoral and perineal nerve network. That is what ultimately leads to orgasm. Simple as that.
If the woman doesn't require direct external clitoral stimulation, because she is sensitive enough and/or horny enough, she may be able to cum just through those nerve impulses alone with the penis sliding in/out.

A problem for many women though is that simply won't do it. They are not sensitive enough or the penises they have experienced in their lives thus far have not been able to hit those nerves. And its not just due to size. Yes, that's part of it. But it's also the shape, angle, style of penetration, position, speed, level of excitement/arousal, etc.
For this reason up to a full 75% of all women can't completely orgasm without at least *some* direct/indirect external clitoral stimulation.

The easiest way to find the really sensitive area for the vast majority of women is to insert fingers as mentioned above, palm up, two fingers, slowly insert them, do not go too far, pull your fingers "up" as if you were going to say "hey, come here" (making a come here motion).

Depending on the woman there a couple of ways to do this. You either explore slowly with your fingers in that hooked "come here" configuration, sliding around, slowly, exploring and inserting deeper as you go. Watch her face and body as you do this. If you hit the right spot you will know it. She will jerk in some fashion, maybe her whole body, her tummy, or just a squeal or moan of like, "oh fuck". If it is sore or too sensitive be careful. Pay attention. It might be. This is the area that is very sensitive to touch and part of the clitoral network inside the vagina. There are lots of nerve endings at this spot you have just found.

What you do next if you want to try for an internal clitoral orgasm is either:

A) flick the fingers rapidly on that spot (and you may have to play around before you find the actual critical "oh shit!" spot - and some girls just won't have it). You will flick them like you are saying "come here" really fast flicking them up and down in the "come here" hook motion.

B) you keep the hook configuration but instead of the rapid come here motion of "flicking" the fingers you will rapidly, but be careful, pay attention to her body, her instructions, she may be sensitive, "bounce" it up and down against that "spot". So imagine instead of a full blow rapid "hey you, come here" fast flicking you motion instead you are just bouncing the fingers/hand down and then back up onto the nerve "spot".

C) on rare occasions you will be able to skip the fingers entirely and your penis will work to achieve g-spot internal clit orgasm. This is quite rare but it can happen if your penis fits right and rubs the right area just perfectly.

The main difference is that first is a full blown come here flicking motion so it's rubbing over the spot super fast back and forth. The other is just a very rapid "tapping" or "bouncing" of that similar finger configuration up and down against the spot. The last one is regular penile penetration and just happens to hit the right spot. Obviously guys with especially thicker, or even longer penises, will have a little more success with this one simply b/c they will fill more area and have more opportunity to press against sensitive nerve spots. But, some women can't do that kind of orgasm so you could have an enormous giant cucumber for a penis and it wouldn't do anything more b/c she can't cum that way alone.

Well, sheeeeit! I didn't mean to write that much. I just get can't help myself sometimes! LOL.

-mg

[Kitty bunny fuck]

Don't go mad. Don't go berserk like you just found a nest of Afghan Taliban and you have a .50 cal mounted machine gun. Just spend time there. Slow, wet, sensual. ....

8. Do not dart all over the place like a roach that is avoiding being smashed when the lights come on. That's aggravating to her. You hit a spot and then you are gone. Shit. Again, go slow. Pay attention.

-mg

For fucks sake no machine gun techniques, and please for the love of pussy don't dart all over the place like a roach!!

Now I have heard it all!


Funny stuff!

[Retired Ninja]

I was once told I was the best she ever had.
But you know how moms are...

She says that to everyone.

I love a good competition, but I just can't after the incident...
https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/cou...-wifes-vagina/

[mathguy]

She says that to everyone.

I love a good competition, but I just can't after the incident...
https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/cou...-wifes-vagina/

Wait. LOL. You did get his joke right? Just making sure b/c I wasn't sure if you were putting a joke on a joke or didn't catch his joke

Edit: Holy shit I just read that link you posted. LMAO. WTF!!!!! Hahahahhaha.

[Retired Ninja]

Wait. LOL. You did get his joke right? Just making sure b/c I wasn't sure if you were putting a joke on a joke or didn't catch his joke

Edit: Holy shit I just read that link you posted. LMAO. WTF!!!!! Hahahahhaha.

Yes, Mathguy, his mother told me I was great then baked me cookies and packed me a lunch. The total MFE.

[mathguy]

Hahaha. Funny. Just.... uhh....maybe not too nice?

[Ivana fuxs]

So - when's the pussy eating contest?

[Alana kay]

mmmm the visual thoughts that crossed my mind :)