I think my mouth is God’s gift to the Vulva. I propose a Cunilingus Contest Here’s the idea: one of our ladies will volunteer, the contestants will enter with a $120 donation, paid in advance, no exceptions. The provider will keep 100 for herself, for this quick visit session (after the oral exam, you are encouraged to continue the session at an additional cost, of course), then she will keep the $20 in a escrow account until the judging is complete and a winner chosen. It will have to be a ranking of skills, based on a rubric, and feedback given for our improvement. There should be no fewer than six competitors, so that the winner essentially get his money back, and if there are more than six competitors, we could always set up a tournament bracket with several providers, paying and entry fee at each level of the contest, of course.

I need a provider to express some interest in being a judge and to help write the rubric. Fellas, sound off here. Ladies, I can hear your interest already in winning this competition too!! If you are interested, let us know, I’m sure we can set up a ladies’ division (after all, it would be unfair to put you in competition with the men: we all know who would win that one)!