Funniest moments..

[donghead]

I sure do enjoy a good queef now and then.

[AlexandraSand]

Dialog:
-Do you like a massage?
-I love naked massage.
-Why?! Do you have neck problem?!

[Oral Empress]

Oh lord there have been so many 😂😂

After a dinner date, we went back to my place for BCD activities. Dirty talk ensued, and during K9, he asked me if I was a bad girl, wanted me to repeat it back to him. I guess I took too long to say it, because halfway through the sentence, he slaps my ass and "bad" turned into "baaaaa", and the hitch in my voice sounded almost exactly like a sheep 😂😂 he had to stop, he was laughing so hard. Still calls me his "baaa girl"

[LNikki]

Oh lord there have been so many ����

After a dinner date, we went back to my place for BCD activities. Dirty talk ensued, and during K9, he asked me if I was a bad girl, wanted me to repeat it back to him. I guess I took too long to say it, because halfway through the sentence, he slaps my ass and "bad" turned into "baaaaa", and the hitch in my voice sounded almost exactly like a sheep ���� he had to stop, he was laughing so hard. Still calls me his "baaa girl"

That's hilarious!! Lol

- - - Updated - - -

Several years ago I had a session with a very well known local provider, who I had seen many times (she still provides here btw). I arrived, we get started, the time comes for condoms and she doesn’t have any in her overnight bag. Neither one of us had time to go out to buy them so I suggested an oral only session. She said no she wanted dick.

What she did have in her suitcase were several plastic bags. So necessity being the mother of invention, I cut a nice circle out of a Walmart bag, placed my cock head in the middle and we proceeded to bang like crazy. Amazingly it worked just fine and actually felt good, kind of wrinkly. We laughed our asses off as we fucked.

Then we used the HEB bag for Greek. I guess when two people want to have sex not much will stop them.

Hi Ammo...have missed you my friend! Where there's a will...there's a way! Lmao

[robexar]

Driving with my ATF up to Austin last year and about half way up there we were talking about music we like, she is 24 years younger, then a moment of silence and she asks if I like road head. I told her I have never heard their music. She was laughing so hard I had to wait about 10 minutes for her to stop before she unzipped my pants and gave me road head.

[LNikki]

Driving with my ATF up to Austin last year and about half way up there we were talking about music we like, she is 24 years younger, then a moment of silence and she asks if I like road head. I told her I have never heard their music. She was laughing so hard I had to wait about 10 minutes for her to stop before she unzipped my pants and gave me road head.

LMAO...a "Duh" moment!

[Ugotme10]

One of my first ones was with a retired lady.
I was sitting on the edge of the bed as she crossed a leg over to straddle me.
I tilted my head back and gave a loud groan.
“You like that?” She asked.
‘No...” I said, “...your crushing my balls.” (Against the rail of the bed)
She apologized and proceeded to kiss them to make them feel better.
We continued, just a bit more carefully.

[Dr. Grey]

I was out with a couple ladies one night when we found another couple having fun, and they proceeded to sit next to us at our table asking to join our party. The guy was hitting on my dates (really didn't mind as his girlfriend was hot!), and proceeded to buy my ladies drinks. One bar led to two more. Guy buying shots for them the entire time. None for me however. I am thinking this guy is trying to steal my dates! We get to a third place, a hotel with a bar inside, and the guy looks over with me at the three ladies all making out and causing a scene in the place.

He goes "Well, are you ready?"
I responded, "Ready for what exactly?"
"To Go Up to the Room?" He tells me.
I tell him as I know he is interested in my lady friends, "Hey, if you want to have fun with my ladies, I am cool with that, but I want your girl."
He goes, "Oh no, the ladies are for her. You are mine."
I gulped and started sweating bullets. Then he walks away.

I immediately go and tell the girls we are leaving once he left to go pay for his tab, and we all left leaving the couple there.

One of them asks me, "What happened? I thought we were gonna go have some fun with them, that girl told me they got a room there."
I go, "Sure, you would have fun with her. I would be getting my ass plowed! No Thank You! That guy wanted to fuck me!"
We all laughed and quickly headed to another bar down the street ditching the bisexual couple.

I took the ladies home and had a 3some with my asshole still intact.

[altbier]

My favorite funny moment was with a long gone provider. We were getting after it in doggie when, all of a sudden, she started laughing. When I looked to see why, there was her little dog humping his stuffed toy in the exact same position we were in. And he was watching us. Laughed so hard that we had to start over.