Discussion on GFE

[mathguy]

I think I did contribute to the thread. The op asked as specific question which seems to have been answered to great detail. Now it seems it has turned into the MathGuy and BL show...js
Funny thing is I am adding my opinion and just got told to don't read them or contribute.
So what you are saying is YOUR opinion is what matters and if you cant contribute or dissent in such away take your football and go home.
While you are an intelligent and well written woman, I am starting to notice a bit of a jaded tone in your interactions.
D

Yo, my man, Dragon.... I took no offense to your post. Bravo, probably the best thing that could be done. Regarding your earlier post I mean (not necessarily this one). But this is also nicely put and makes a good point. You have contributed. I took no offense whatsoever. There needs to be a +1 upvote or like button in these forums. I would click that shit like a motherfucker. Haha.

[britttany_love]

I think I did contribute to the thread. The op asked as specific question which seems to have been answered to great detail. Now it seems it has turned into the MathGuy and BL show...js
Funny thing is I am adding my opinion and just got told to don't read them or contribute.
So what you are saying is YOUR opinion is what matters and if you cant contribute or dissent in such away take your football and go home.
While you are an intelligent and well written woman, I am starting to notice a bit of a jaded tone in your interactions.
D

That was not at all what I said. You told us to get a room because you didnt want to hear us talking anymore. I was just saying that you dont have to read what we are saying if you didn't want to hear it. I was simply sharing my opinions sorry that bothered you my apologies. I said to contribute some if what we were writing was bothering you. Share your opinions I never once said not to. My reply was not meant to be rude what so ever. I'm not jaded.. I'm just honest and blunt. I'm not going to lie to you or try to sugar coat anything. That doesnt make me a bad person that makes me real. You have met me before I'm definitely not jaded I'm actually a very nice person. So please dont say I'm something that I am not because I have strong opinions on an online forum. I will keep quiet from now on as it appears my opinions bother some.

[risn2theoccasion2]

Ya, but the OP asked about a very particular question and was even so particular he posted in two different places. It was obviously important to him. That's what it was originally about. I was addressing him, younger guys, those who are not as experienced.

I disagree with that last statement. You might not do that. That's fine. But it's not really something you cannot just make a blanket statement about like that. In your case maybe. I'll give you that. Fair enough. Maybe even your friends and girls you know. I believe you. But I *know* it's not everyone. I have ~22+ years or so of experience since ~18 that says otherwise. I believe *you* though. Ya that's fine. Whatever. Hottest sex I've ever had in my life was with a provider. A paid provider. Paid. Not the other free couple I've mentioned dating and fuck buddies and shit like that. Yes I knew her. But she was the best. Ever. Period. Hands down. I've had two wives and SO's (including the fuck buddies/provider stuff) that were not like her. [/B]

Spot on. This thread has shed a lot of light on this subject. One thing for sure, I will now ask the lady for her definition of GFE and what that includes. Thank to all.

[Guest 050620-2]

I have a tendency to get emotionally attached to providers with whom I develop a "relationship". I can still remember the "special" ladies I have known over the years. CrystalKitty is one, along with Anna Parker and Mia of Westlake. The latest occurrence definitely moved beyond provider/client mode into the personal. She told me much about her personal life and history, even her real name etc and we moved into relationship mode. Honestly she was the best sexual experience of my life and when it went beyond just sex into relationship, I fell in love with her. Then the jealousy hit, especially when some particularly intense reviews of her were posted coupled with her cancelling a date. I won't go any further into the the events that followed, suffice to say she had to cut me off completely. It took me a good while to come down from this and I would still "take her back" in a heartbeat. I have been lucky to have a sweet part-time provider/friend talk me through it all. In short, the "hobby" can mess with your life if you are not careful.

[AlexandraSand]

OMG(fe)!!!

Thank goodness, that it took to long for me to post a reply and app ate it!
Everyone so awesomely right! And

I have "Hobby Hubby" he is a ladies man and perfect for perfecting perfect GFE. He is perfecting someone right now. No ring of fire.
I have "Boyfriends" who flirt with me all day long.
I had "
One night stands" and fulfield few fantasies.

Always one note: I am a good girl, but, money first.
No disappointments.


Cliff notes:

Professional Girlfriend. You - are my date. I can bul#it-the-bul#iter in etliest 3 languages. You have to excite me, to get you very excited.

YMMV! And I don't even count in miles. I count in kilometers! Everything is variable.
I no longer meet for "Meat & Greed" at contelope shelf at grocery stores. Or cucumber sections. Both provoking anxiety in me.

[KateXKennedy]

The "Girlfriend Experience" is relative and subject to the individual(s) interpretation. To me, it's exactly that: an experience. I don't think GFE is the sum of various acronyms and/or activities. Each encounter and experience is its own - some days I want passion and intimacy, other days I want to be bent over and spanked. The experience itself is framed by chemistry - it's less about expectation and more about savoring the moment. What do you need right now? What does SHE need right now? Expectations have a tendency to lead to disappointment, in my experience.

I consider myself a professional girlfriend because that persona fits well with who I am in and out of this culture. I market to a niche demographic - those who love free-spirited, book-loving, self-actualized little hippies because those personalities fit best with my own, creating natural chemistry. If you want a girlfriend for x duration, then treat me as such. Intimacy is more than inserting part A into part B - it's sharing a piece of who you are with others. It's taking the time to learn personality quirks AND pleasure points. It's not transactional. It's an energetic exchange and if done correctly it's fucking fantastic (pun intended.) In my opinion, that Girlfriend Experience you seek gets even better with time.

I will also note that experience is shared and requires the effort of both parties. Monotony isn't the result of one person's lack of interest or performance - it takes two. If you want her to bring the spice then you should be prepared to add a little extra of your own. Suggest different meeting times, pre-coital snacks or drinks - or just a simple, thoughtful email. Yes, I'm suggesting you spoil your ATF every once in awhile. Surprise me with books (or an impromptu threesome) and I'll show you exactly what gratitude can look like. I'm a woman! Desire me. Appreciate me. Pursue me.

I like to think of this world as compensated dating sans taxing, emotional maintenance. Just a few of my pennies.

[centexguy]

Mathguy and BL, get a room and work it out.
Kinda seems on the precipice of a pissing contest......js.

- - - Updated - - -



While off topic, I do miss the days of CrystalKitty. She was such a sweetheart. Cherry Chandler and Crystal were my very first hobby experiences.
Hijack off

I had one session with CrystalKitty, probably around 10 years ago, and it was great. I was sitting on the edge of the bed and she was on her knees about to go down on me when she says "That's beautiful." In by book that counts as GFE!

[Loxly]

Basically Kate sorta hit it for me. "If ya want it! Bring it!" ~ Some folks go a lifetime without having anything close to a memorable experience. And for some it might be their only experience. I've been lucky and with a bit more luck will squeak in a few more before my expiration date.

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

Kate, you are GFE personified. Thank you for being my GF, if only for an hour.

[mathguy]

The "Girlfriend Experience" is relative and subject to the individual(s) interpretation. To me, it's exactly that: an experience. I don't think GFE is the sum of various acronyms and/or activities. Each encounter and experience is its own - some days I want passion and intimacy, other days I want to be bent over and spanked. The experience itself is framed by chemistry - it's less about expectation and more about savoring the moment. What do you need right now? What does SHE need right now? Expectations have a tendency to lead to disappointment, in my experience.

I consider myself a professional girlfriend because that persona fits well with who I am in and out of this culture. I market to a niche demographic - those who love free-spirited, book-loving, self-actualized little hippies because those personalities fit best with my own, creating natural chemistry. If you want a girlfriend for x duration, then treat me as such. Intimacy is more than inserting part A into part B - it's sharing a piece of who you are with others. It's taking the time to learn personality quirks AND pleasure points. It's not transactional. It's an energetic exchange and if done correctly it's fucking fantastic (pun intended.) In my opinion, that Girlfriend Experience you seek gets even better with time.

I will also note that experience is shared and requires the effort of both parties. Monotony isn't the result of one person's lack of interest or performance - it takes two. If you want her to bring the spice then you should be prepared to add a little extra of your own. Suggest different meeting times, pre-coital snacks or drinks - or just a simple, thoughtful email. Yes, I'm suggesting you spoil your ATF every once in awhile. Surprise me with books (or an impromptu threesome) and I'll show you exactly what gratitude can look like. I'm a woman! Desire me. Appreciate me. Pursue me.

I like to think of this world as compensated dating sans taxing, emotional maintenance. Just a few of my pennies.

Hi Kate. This was a great post and to the point! Thanks for sharing. I think you really nailed it when it comes to the hobby portion of this culture in the form of a paid transaction though it's not treated as transactional (and it shouldn't be). Very well put!

Like I've always said, everything, every friendship, gf/bf, marriage, coworkers, business partners, etc... are all transactional anyway. We exchange time, emotional output, feelings, give and take, learn about the others persons experiences, what they like/dont like, exchange money, etc... and many other things in most all of the endeavors. This is just a much more direct route to the bedroom part of intimate sexual activities. It doesn't change the fact that a "GFE" provider should be someone that enjoys their time with their partners, even if it is paid time. All time, in all endeavors, in all relationships, in all businesses, is paid...in one form or another.

I like that you were able to express it as you did. I especially liked the part about the intimacy portion being more than part A goes into to part B. That's something I mentioned throughout my posts in this thread. Totally agree.

I even bolded the last sentence of your quote b/c I think it exemplifies the core message about what GFE is really all about. That sentence is so perfect and hits the nail on the head. That is really the only difference between the sex in private "RL" and the "hobby culture". It should be anyway.

-mg

[MarkWatney]

Kate, I liked your response. It's probably more than I could ever sign up for, because as much as I'd love to have that kind of a GFE, I just don't think that it would be sustainable for me.

For example giving a book. That would involve a lot of personal knowledge along the same lines as your own interests, and I'm just not that well-rounded of a book person. And it would be maybe a little too intimate for this kind of connection. For me anyway. Maybe that's an ideal for you that doesn't match everyone that you'd be cool with, but the ideal is a lot to live up to.

For me, it's more about capturing the passion from my fantasies and bringing them to life. It's so much more than connecting part A to part B, which really can only go so far when there is the necessary part C (cover) in between.

Passionate kisses are the perfect way to start, and after that, no matter what I had in mind going in to the session, it always goes a different way. And it's incredibly intimate to be with someone in the moment, giving and receiving pleasure in devious ways to get around the necessary restrictions and still have some fun anyway.

But in real life, it could go on for hours. In the hobby, there are limits because we have to reimburse you for your time. Maybe on special occasions we can handle a 2 or 3 hour session, but 1 hour is more typical. There's only so much you can do in 1 hour, so we get kind of rushed, like a jazz musician in the 40's trying to squeeze a 6-minute composition onto a 3-minute pressing.

And as much as we'd like to be there for you before we do our thing, there's also the hard fact that we need time to build up before we can release. It would be kind of an insult to your attractiveness if we didn't release, so there's some pressure there.

And that's all fine, we do what we can when we can. If everything isn't perfect, it's still a ton of fun.

That's what a GFE is to me. We may not bring you your favorite things, because we don't always have the time to find out what they are.

But we bring ourselves, our passions, and our donations. On special occasions we may take you shopping or for dinner or something, but more often that's all we bring to the table.

With any luck, you get as much pleasure as we do, although maybe in different ways. I hope that's enough.

[KateXKennedy]

Kate, I liked your response. It's probably more than I could ever sign up for, because as much as I'd love to have that kind of a GFE, I just don't think that it would be sustainable for me.

For example giving a book. That would involve a lot of personal knowledge along the same lines as your own interests, and I'm just not that well-rounded of a book person. And it would be maybe a little too intimate for this kind of connection. For me anyway. Maybe that's an ideal for you that doesn't match everyone that you'd be cool with, but the ideal is a lot to live up to.

For me, it's more about capturing the passion from my fantasies and bringing them to life. It's so much more than connecting part A to part B, which really can only go so far when there is the necessary part C (cover) in between.

Passionate kisses are the perfect way to start, and after that, no matter what I had in mind going in to the session, it always goes a different way. And it's incredibly intimate to be with someone in the moment, giving and receiving pleasure in devious ways to get around the necessary restrictions and still have some fun anyway.

But in real life, it could go on for hours. In the hobby, there are limits because we have to reimburse you for your time. Maybe on special occasions we can handle a 2 or 3 hour session, but 1 hour is more typical. There's only so much you can do in 1 hour, so we get kind of rushed, like a jazz musician in the 40's trying to squeeze a 6-minute composition onto a 3-minute pressing.

And as much as we'd like to be there for you before we do our thing, there's also the hard fact that we need time to build up before we can release. It would be kind of an insult to your attractiveness if we didn't release, so there's some pressure there.

And that's all fine, we do what we can when we can. If everything isn't perfect, it's still a ton of fun.

That's what a GFE is to me. We may not bring you your favorite things, because we don't always have the time to find out what they are.

But we bring ourselves, our passions, and our donations. On special occasions we may take you shopping or for dinner or something, but more often that's all we bring to the table.

With any luck, you get as much pleasure as we do, although maybe in different ways. I hope that's enough.

I love all of this, so much. You're absolutely right: an experience for one could, and likely would, be entirely different for someone else. I don't think there is a right answer, there is only perspective. Thank you for sharing :)

[risn2theoccasion2]

The "Girlfriend Experience" is relative and subject to the individual(s) interpretation. To me, it's exactly that: an experience. I don't think GFE is the sum of various acronyms and/or activities. Each encounter and experience is its own - some days I want passion and intimacy, other days I want to be bent over and spanked. The experience itself is framed by chemistry - it's less about expectation and more about savoring the moment. What do you need right now? What does SHE need right now? Expectations have a tendency to lead to disappointment, in my experience.

I consider myself a professional girlfriend because that persona fits well with who I am in and out of this culture. I market to a niche demographic - those who love free-spirited, book-loving, self-actualized little hippies because those personalities fit best with my own, creating natural chemistry. If you want a girlfriend for x duration, then treat me as such. Intimacy is more than inserting part A into part B - it's sharing a piece of who you are with others. It's taking the time to learn personality quirks AND pleasure points. It's not transactional. It's an energetic exchange and if done correctly it's fucking fantastic (pun intended.) In my opinion, that Girlfriend Experience you seek gets even better with time.

I will also note that experience is shared and requires the effort of both parties. Monotony isn't the result of one person's lack of interest or performance - it takes two. If you want her to bring the spice then you should be prepared to add a little extra of your own. Suggest different meeting times, pre-coital snacks or drinks - or just a simple, thoughtful email. Yes, I'm suggesting you spoil your ATF every once in awhile. Surprise me with books (or an impromptu threesome) and I'll show you exactly what gratitude can look like. I'm a woman! Desire me. Appreciate me. Pursue me.

I like to think of this world as compensated dating sans taxing, emotional maintenance. Just a few of my pennies.

Thank you for your perspective. Glad you mentioned that GFE is not a list of acronyms. The E (Experience) is what it's all about. That Experience can differ from visit to visit as well. Also, I was glad you said "What do you need right now? What does SHE need right now?" Communication is key. Even though I am giving a gift for time spent, it's nice to know what my lady wants or needs at the moment. Even in repeat visits it might be different. The one thing I hate to hear or feel is, "Don't worry about me, this is all about you." For me that is a turn off. I like to feel I am contributing something other than a gift.

I am not always about romance. I may want some kink and PSE mixed in once in a while. I have a lady I see when I am in that mood. It would be nice to have a lady who likes both experiences. I had one lady tell me once, I like a little kink and you don't go there. Well, that was the first time she ever communicated that to me, in fact she had mentioned things in the past that lead me to believe other wise. How am I supposed to know? I'm not a fucking mind reader. You addressed communication. Communication is key to a satisfying experience.

[Bettie_mae]

The "Girlfriend Experience" is relative and subject to the individual(s) interpretation. To me, it's exactly that: an experience. I don't think GFE is the sum of various acronyms and/or activities. Each encounter and experience is its own - some days I want passion and intimacy, other days I want to be bent over and spanked. The experience itself is framed by chemistry - it's less about expectation and more about savoring the moment. What do you need right now? What does SHE need right now? Expectations have a tendency to lead to disappointment, in my experience.

I consider myself a professional girlfriend because that persona fits well with who I am in and out of this culture. I market to a niche demographic - those who love free-spirited, book-loving, self-actualized little hippies because those personalities fit best with my own, creating natural chemistry. If you want a girlfriend for x duration, then treat me as such. Intimacy is more than inserting part A into part B - it's sharing a piece of who you are with others. It's taking the time to learn personality quirks AND pleasure points. It's not transactional. It's an energetic exchange and if done correctly it's fucking fantastic (pun intended.) In my opinion, that Girlfriend Experience you seek gets even better with time.

I will also note that experience is shared and requires the effort of both parties. Monotony isn't the result of one person's lack of interest or performance - it takes two. If you want her to bring the spice then you should be prepared to add a little extra of your own. Suggest different meeting times, pre-coital snacks or drinks - or just a simple, thoughtful email. Yes, I'm suggesting you spoil your ATF every once in awhile. Surprise me with books (or an impromptu threesome) and I'll show you exactly what gratitude can look like. I'm a woman! Desire me. Appreciate me. Pursue me.

I like to think of this world as compensated dating sans taxing, emotional maintenance. Just a few of my pennies.

Amen Sista! Well written. I agree with every well-placed word.

[Ivana fuxs]

Gfe - girlfriend for an hour!

I'm lots of guys girlfriend. I have great connections with many guys, I find the ones I have the best connection with are the guys that are humble and are a complete gentleman from first contact.

I also think chemestry plays a huge role in true gfe.

My sessions seem to be based on how well I am treated and respected in general.

Do unto me as you want done unto you.