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Thread: Do you find that people judge you for your particular fetish ???

  1. #1
    Verified Companion Companion Zena99's Avatar
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    Cool Do you find that people judge you for your particular fetish ???

    ~ Do you find that you are judged for your particular kink - that you love ????
    I have definitely seen this lately or experienced this ....
    I have several different things I love & do, & some times I can talk about them in the RW OR HOBBY
    AND SOMETIMES I CANT.....
    AS I WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A HOT STEAMY DOM/SUB SESSION THE OTHER DAY
    A MAN WHO IS MY CLIENT AND MY FRIEND ~JOKINGLY SAID ~
    I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING INHERENTLY WRONG WITH A WOMAN WHO LIKES
    TO BE TALKED TO LIKE THAT ! :) ;) He was joking and I laughed we both laughed ...I shrugged it off and gave him a truly -
    great experience and he went on his way smiling, but I guess that comment stuck with me a few
    days later and I just caught myself worrying .... I am not a freak and neither is he ....we both have our fetishes but
    ...Do you find you are judged ??? Do you ever tell a professional about it ??. Like a therapist to see if you are screwed up ??? haha ! I'm not ashamed to admit I see a new Counselor in my life for some R w stress or previous issues I had 20 years ago like Depression or whatever ( nothing like drugs or a criminal background ) ...and he's so straight laced that I'm afraid to tell him about my Bdsm desires...he will fall out of his chair...lol..!!!!...but we all struggle with something and as long as we enjoy kink and fetish and Bdsm in a HEALTHY manner ISNT THAT WHAT IS IMPORTANT ? WE WANT TO LEAD HAPPY AND FULLFILLED LIVES AND MAYBE EVEN KINKY LIVES ..LOL !
    and as long as we don't hurt another human being - adult or child or animal ...then we should just go on our merry way ??? I don't know , maybe I'm just being paranoid....We do worry that We will be judged by another either now or when that day comes at the end ( don't worry - I won't get into that...lol )... I would love feedback from some of you men and women who have been in the kink lifestyle or Bdsm ....lifestyle for many years...or if you just have a funny comment... I love you all... ( and maybe I should just STOP WORRYING !!!! LOL ! )
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  2. #2
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Lovinglifeinaustin's Avatar
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    Zena you should stop worrying and embrace your kinks and fetishes.

    My wife judges me when I ask her for a bj.

    So thank you for being you.
    James
    Loving life in Austin

    Ladies, I will not ask you for Greek, MSOG, or anything on your no list.
    I will ask for a pretty smile, cheery disposition, the pleasure of your company, and the excitement of all my senses.

    See my P411 profile if you want to know more.

  3. #3
    Verified Hobbyist BCD hunter5410's Avatar
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    Zena,
    There is nothing wrong with you... you are a precious child of God. You have desires and needs as we all do. I truly loved being with you and think of you often. I think you are a kind and loving person and I am honored to have spent an hour or two with you and look forward to seeing you again. You are unique and should move on embracing your gifts *which are outstanding.

  4. #4
    Verified Hobbyist BCD BJLover's Avatar
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    Zena,

    Don't ever think that your sexual desires are "wrong", immoral or unnatural. As long as your encounters are safe, sane and consensual, there is nothing to be ashamed of or worry about.

    I would also draw the line at kids, animals, and any activity that causes bodily or psychological harm. Anything else is between you and the person you are with. If you both enjoy yourselves, no one else has the right to judge you. Fuck those people who feel like the have the right to judge you - it's none of their business what consensual acts you perform with someone else behind closed doors.

    I'm generally careful about sharing anything about my life that is no one else's business, but that makes a place like this one here so great. I can find women that are into some of the things that I enjoy without being judged or questioned. I have only ever shared my BCD preferences with people that had a right to know - providers, civilian sex partners, girlfriends. I have introduced several people to the BDSM world after they have expressed interest (especially after the whole "5- shades of grey" thing became mainstream, and they had a great time.

    In short: Be happy, be discreet about your desires until you find someone who shares your kinks and fetishes, and don't worry about what others think. You're not in the world to make everyone else happy, you're here to make yourself happy (and by extension a few people that are important to you around you).

  5. #5
    Verified Companion Companion MsRogueSA's Avatar
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    I have lived the bdsm lifestyle for almost 30 yrs now, im a seasoned sub and have been fully collared as a slave, along with mentoring many over time. And the one thing that i will say is to embrace who you are to the fullest. And not let what others may think or say sway you. Be discreet but be comfortable. Be who you are. We ALL have our secret kinks that we cantjust go tell society as a whole about. But we all have a secret kinky side its natural, just know your limits and boundaries. But be happy with who you are and with what your comfortable with.
    Last edited by MsRogueSA; 10-09-2018 at 09:49 AM.

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  6. #6
    Verified Hobbyist BCD DocHoliday's Avatar
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    Chill out. Do your own thing. Donít worry about what someone thinks. As long as you are happy, itís all good.
    Newbie members friendly. Troll inhospitable & I have an ongoing troll ignore list!!!
    Iím your Huckleberry and this hobby is just my game. Ladies, just say when!!
    If youíre BSC, probably BSC, a drama Queen/King, WK or troll, DONíT PM me or comment on my thread posts.
    Thanks for your cooperation.

  7. #7
    Verified Hobbyist BCD
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    Don't care if someone judges me. I live my life to please me
    I have been talked into doing things by young hot chicks that I should have known better, but I don't always listen to my concious until it's too late
    Fuck em. Have fun

  8. #8
    Verified Companion Companion
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    Honestly, I get judged all the time. Guys tell me they don't like or approve of my submissive side. Yet they show dominant traits. One in particular that responded to this thread. Believe me, I would love it if he embraced his dominant traits and enjoyed spanking me. Apparently, I am missing out on a lot of fun. Lol. Keep your chin up & don't let anyone get between you and what you enjoy Sexy.
    You only live once.

  9. #9
    Verified Companion Companion DallasRain's Avatar
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    This easily offended should be offened more often!
    (A fave quote of mine)

    Each to his own..if it feels good then do it...no need to care whst others think

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  10. #10
    Verified Hobbyist BCD
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    I have not felt like i was being judged, no. Several have told me no, and thats okay. The ones who have said yes and agreed to my play style, those were memorable.

  11. #11
    Verified Companion Companion MOCHAakaMOCHA's Avatar
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    All kind of rolls back to "do unto others as you'd have then do unto you" to a degree. I try not to yuck anyone else's yum and I want to be able to freely enjoy mine too.

  12. #12
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    Zena,
    I’ve participated in the lifestyle for a while, 20+ years or so. In my limited experience, the judgment is common, particularly with those vanilla friends and relatives. Even within the kink communities, there are activities that some find abhorrent, while others absolutely cannot love without said activity. The stark difference is that folks within the lifestyle generally won’t judge you for it, although the though your particular kink is anathema to them.

    I get a different sense from your post...reading between the lines, I wonder if you’re exploring your own feelings about participating in the lifestyle. To that end, Aftercare is ridiculously important. Post-play “drops” are real and can be mitigated by a solid aftercare plan. They can occur in both Dominant and submissive. I have opinions; I’d like to avoid hijacking your thread though. If you’re curious, inquire away.

    As long as you’re following the principle important to you (RACK or SSC) and take the time to find other like minded individuals, you’ll thrive and grow in the lifestyle. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

    -Sarin

  13. #13
    Verified Companion Companion Lena Duvall's Avatar
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    Anyone who is well-versed in BDSM dynamics and also prioritizes respect and consent should know the importance of not pathologizing other's desires to engage in certain types of play. BDSM is not abuse and therefore people's interest in consensual kinks should not be conflated with something being "wrong" with them.
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  14. #14
    Registered Male (Not Verified)
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    I see nothing wrong with a fetish as long as everyone involved is getting off to it. I tried to interest a provider in a fetish i have. We planned it. I got to the session and it didnt go well at all. It just wound up being a regular session. And another time I brought it up and it was very spontaneous. In the middle of the session I mentioned it and we did it. It was great but I would have liked a more planned thing so I could everything I wanted to get out of it. I don’t about it much to people because i get the sense I would be judged.

    But if you and whoever you are with enjoy it, then there is nothing wrong with it, or you.

    CV.

  15. #15
    Verified Companion Companion Classysexxx's Avatar
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    Awesome Read..��
    Great thread!
    Omg..Ive often wondered the same thing being a switch provider .
    I'm going to give you the same advice I have given myself..��..��...it have FUN!
    Or Like Bjliver said,
    If you both enjoy yourselves, no one else has the right to judge you. Fuck those people who feel like the have the right to judge you - it's none of their business what consensual acts you perform with someone else behind closed doors.


    ��Nicole

  16. #16
    Registered Male (Not Verified) afreder's Avatar
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    amen classy!

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