Loneliness and sex work

[baja22]

Another thing that makes it difficult to find true friendship in the hobby is the possible age gap. The only reason I hobby is to have sex with younger women, that's just me. I've always seen providers anywhere from 15 to 30 years younger than me, something that would be difficult to achieve in the civvy world at no charge. With enough age gap, there's just not that much in common to have a real friendship.

[KnightWithoutArmor]

Illini's question of whether the "hobby" is crutch for or a bridge against loneliness is interesting. Reading all the replies, I see there are various reasons people are all all part of this "world."

For hobbyists I think providers won't fix any feelings of loneliness, Illini. Many providers view this as a profession, so it would be akin to expecting coworkers to fix your loneliness. If you only talk to coworkers and don't make friends outside of work, you may find yourself feeling more lonely than if you have friends outside of work and also have coworkers who you consider friends.

I also think the loneliness you're seeing on both sides isn't strictly because we're part of the hobbying world. I think people today are just more lonely in general. They'd probably feel just as lonely even if they weren't a hobbyist or provider.

Hope you find your way out of loneliness soon! Just remember, nothing is permanent anyway.

[Illini]

Its been nice to see the discussion here. My original post was poorly written as I hadn’t fully fleshed out what I wanted to say. It was a slightly jumbled set of ideas in my head that I wanted to get out and was interested in what others had to say.

I have over the years become real friends with two women I met this way. That wasn’t planned it just happened. And it’s not something I’m actively seeking out here now. Just to be clearer about that. Im not expecting to find a solution to any chronic loneliness issues I have thru this activity.

I think part of thoughts were trying to understand if being active here when maybe the loneliness gets really bad. In the long run is that a negative because it allows me to avoid the core of the issue? Or, if I learn to not depend on it, can it be a bridge/bandage/crutch to get me thru until I’m in a better place. It’s not like you can force people to be your friend. So can’t just make it happen.

And the other point was just an observation. That yes, loneliness is the human condition, but seems like we may see a higher share in this community. AND this is about bringing two people together to some degree. But the overwhelming number of times doesn’t result in a sustainable reduction in loneliness on either side. At least specifically between the two people involved.

I live inside my head a bit too much. But it’s been nice to see the conversation here and to get folks perspective. Thanks for that

[elyria]

This thread caught my eye. I appreciate the topic and the vulnerability with which you shared it. I agree with Jade that loneliness is an epidemic in our society. I don’t feel that i necessarily have anything profound to share, but specially from a thread that is from so very long ago and because I am seeming to see different answers from the hobbyists than from the providers extrapolating from what you originally wrote. The hobbyists seem to be giving you ominous warnings about reading into relationships with the providers and I can see the wisdom in those warnings. I however, took from your original post something more revealing about the human condition and our need for connection and how this “hobby” and “work” fit into the whole scheme of it and I appreciate you including the prospect of loneliness from the providers standpoint as well. I think that I also got into this work to fill some needs of loneliness. In some ways, I think it offers bandaids to a greater void, but even bandaids can be helpful and work in helping to fill the need. We all have needs for affection, connection, and intimacy. They are definitely needs, not just desires and wants, but our soul and spirit is not sustained without them. I personally am proud of this aspect of sex work in its openness to help fulfill a basic human need. I don’t necessarily think it is the most ideal way, but I am appreciative that it is addressing a need that exists and is largely ignored in society or not offering actually anything to help with this. I think it is brave, extraordinary , and vulnerable that you have shared this and opened a dialogue. Thank you 🙏🏼

[Transylvania Count]

You can show the same movie to ten different people and each of them will have their own impression of it. This hobby is no different. Some are here for companionship, some are here for fun and some are here to live their innermost desires that their real world would not understand. But all of it has this in common: when the movie ends, everyone must go back to reality. Never forget this, and you will have a great time!

There are countless ways of meeting people. If you want to receive, start by giving. Volunteer your time, and you will meet like-minded humans with whom you will undoubtedly form a relationship. Think positive, persevere and BELIEVE! The world is full of stories of wishes coming true.

[WillieWonka69069]

Y’all are kind. The advise given here is solid. It’s nice to see people take the time to help a person who has reached out guidance.

[YveParadyse]

Lol doc though that may be true in most cases I do believe That we both know that's not necessarily always the case sometimes people grow on you

[frankharris1]

Maybe it's better to focus on the positive side of the "relationship". Great sex, available more or less on demand, with an almost always pleasant and civil other. That's worth quite a lot.