Limericks

[MarkWatney]

Any other limerick fans? Post your favorite here or write your own. Here's an old one that never grows old, until it does.

There was a young lady from Exeter
And all the young men threw their sex at her
Just to be rude
She sat in the nude
While her parrot, a pervert, took pecks at her

Sounds like a snapchat moment if ever there was one.

[Loxly]

Limericks = Irish Rap
Think about it.

[winndixie]

Is limericks kinda like onamonapia ??

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

There once was a preacher named Clyde
Who fell in an outhouse and died
Along came the sexton
Who fell in the next one
Now they’re interred side by side.

[MarkWatney]

Is limericks kinda like onamonapia ??

No, limericks are different from onomatopoeia.

on·o·mat·o·poe·ia
he formation of a word from a sound associated with what is named (e.g., cuckoo, sizzle ).
the use of onomatopoeia for rhetorical effect

lim·er·ick
a humorous, frequently bawdy, verse of three long and two short lines rhyming aabba

Just Google "dirty limericks" for examples. Here's one that I just discovered:

A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates

[winndixie]

^^^^^^^^ I think there's a dip thong in there somewhere.......... Just an observation!

[MarkWatney]

Dip thong sounds like something that a gal would wear for a hot date.

There once was a man from East Kent
Whose tool was so long that it bent
To save her some trouble
He folded it double
And instead of coming...he went

[Mokoa]

There once was a couple named Kelly
Who spend their honeymoon belly to belly
Because in their haste
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly

That one was authored by none other than Issac Asimov.

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

I don’t think this is a limerick, but it’s close and funny. One of my earliest childhood jokes.

Jack and Jill went up the hill.
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents.
Think they went for water?

Nope, not a limerick. But funny.
So where are all the limericks about guys from Nantucket? ��

[MarkWatney]

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a c*nt, I would fuck it."

It won't let me post c*nt.

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

There once was a plumber from Leigh
Was plumbing the maid by the sea
Said the maid: "cease your plumbing,
I hear someone coming"
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "Its me."

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who went to hell in a bucket
But when he got there
And the devil charged fare
He pulled out his dick and said suck it.