Catching feelings for a provider?

[yoshikitty]

I don’t see any providers responding?

I for one know not to get emotions involved with the hobbyists/clients.
But I would be lying if I said I didn’t find some of the gentlemen attractive and cute. It was about 5-10% of them and I wondered why they were hobbying? in the real world I could see myself dating them and putting out for them without getting paid lol

There were a handful (less than 5) that I got to know well as my regulars. A few of them still on this board who I actually liked and would date if they asked me.

[BigDallas]

She is a prostitute has been stuffed and creamed by many meats, all kinds all sizes cucumbers,tooth picks, and in between.

[squiretuck]

It is a hazard of the hobby my friend. I have done it more times than i care to count, and I am especially attracted to a lovely woman with whom I've had a relationship through the hobby for several years, but chances of us being together permanently are slim. You just got to suck it up, and enjoy it for what it is. IMHO

[Houstonviolet1]

I mean I met my husband through this very site. After the third time seeing him I told him he couldn’t donate. Next thing you know we’re married. We’re very happy 🖤 if she likes you, you’ll know.

[locomtn]

I mean I met my husband through this very site. After the third time seeing him I told him he couldn’t donate. Next thing you know we’re married. We’re very happy �� if she likes you, you’ll know.

So it's less than likely, but ot out of the realm of it being true. The actions speak more volume than just words as always.

[fingers22]

Stop seeing her immediately and move on before you get hurt. These providers could care less for you and your emotions, it's a business for them and all about the $$$ they can receive.

Now there will be providers that you want to keep as a regular because you click and enjoy, but keep it that way and don't let your emotions get involved and get the best of you.

[slocum]

I've had some kind of feelings for every lady I have seen more than twice, which is most of them. That's why I saw them more than twice. If you leave her now, your heart gets broken now. If you leave her later, your heart gets broken later, and in the meantime, you can have a lot of fun!

This plan only works if you take enjoyment in the things that you can enjoy right now, like the nookie, and not pine over things that might not be available, like reciprocated feelings. If you are always going to be trying to take the relationship to a deeper level, and having anxiety over not being able to, then yeah, bailing now is going to save you frustration.

[MissBee]

They way some of you are talking toward ladies in this industry is baffling. The way some of you are talking down about this woman and tearing her apart is sick and yet you are the very ones yourself seeking services of these very ladies.

At the end of the day we are human as well and deserve to love and be loved. The negativity is disturbing in a way.
So a woman can sleep with men for free and can find love within one of her "situations" yet because a woman gets paid....it's different? Grow up

I agree, discuss the removal of the transactional aspect and see what happens. You can still help and give gifts but do it in a way as if you two met any where else. Try slowly but surely doing things in real life (dates, trips, mixing of social circles, enter into reality; whatever that might be)
If her feelings are genuine then it shouldn't be a big fuss. Actions always speak louder than words.

Sure this isn't the traditional way to meet someone but who said a grocery store, airplane, online dating, or any other avenue is? You cross paths and in your situation if it's good is a beautiful thing.
You know her "secret" and she knows yours; if you never throw it in her face or judge her.and of course vise versa...you could set a foundation of an incredible amount of trust.

Always always keep communication transparent. If things start to not "feel" good....you both sit down and talk about it.

I have seen several providers find their person in this little slice of the universe. Their relationships are solid and their bond is something one can only wish for themselves.

I'm not dumb....you have to have boundaries within this industry and keep feelings out of money. But when the connection is there....Its there. Why not explore it. If it doesn't work you thank each other and show gratitude and you go your own separate ways. People come into your life for a reason.

If you met a women in the grocery store over mangos and the chemistry is there.....do you walk away or do you ask for a number and pursue it?

Don't go into anything blindly...keep your mind clear.

At the end of the day none of us are there to experience your connection. That is between you two.

If it feels right, embrace the moment for whatever it is. Never lead with expectations...it makes things weird.

Just know, you can't control chemistry. People are placed in our lives in the most unique ways sometimes. Maybe it's the hopeless romantic in me but I'm optimistic and think as long as you are communicating and staying true to yourselves..anything is possible.

I wish you both the best of luck.

[WESTPAC]

Do I like my ATF? Yes I do. Does she like me? Well enough to continue to see me on a regular basis. Anything beyond that is bonus. We both seem happy with our arrangement and continue to book and plan sessions months in advance. Her expectations are clear and I meet them. My expectations are clear and she meets them. Either we have chemistry or she provides sufficient facsimile of it that I really don't care since I enjoy the hell out of our time together. I appreciate the fact that we are both business minded and in many ways it is a professional relationship. I am always careful to remember that first and foremost this is her livelihood (or at least part of it), as others in this thread seem to (see BTW below). I am very careful to be punctual in both my arrival and departure. In my mind, unless explicity invited to stay in no uncertain terms, overstaying is literally stealing from her.

BTW tip from the business world: When a client/customer starts talking discount, start talking about risk. While time is money, less money for time is always risk. I have done this with Fortune 500 companies; it works.

[Jackieluv23]

Let me start off by saying, I know my profile suggests im new to providing but I'm not. I was on a 5 year hiatus in which I thought I retired... I got married, had children, was a good faithful wife. I met a client with whom I fell in love.
I am absolutely appalled at the lack of a sense of humanity given to providers in this thread.
I am now a divorced 26 yo. Why? Because my husband treated me like dirt for 4 years.
I say all this to say that if you believe that we are all ONLY providing for transactional causes, it can very much cause a cynicism that is detrimental to the fulfillment you get from hobbying. I returned to providing because 9/10 a hobbying gentleman will treat me respectfully. It restores my faith in humanity. I GENUINELY enjoy providing and meeting each and every one of my clients. But I am also human and have fallen deeply in love with a past client. I was the one who ended up hurt not him. 🌹

Guys please remember that we all have feelings and not everyone is out to play with your wallets.

[1shyguy]

I had especially good chemistry with a provider a couple years back, and on one occasion when I texted her that I was taking a break, she asked me to continue to see her off the clock. So every other Saturday or so, she’d text me and ask me to come to her place. And it was great for a while, but ultimately, it was my biggest mistake in the hobby.

Without going into details, the best way I can put it is that in some sense, ALL sex is transactional. And as nice as it would be to imagine what would have happened if you met your ATF at a party or the like and hit it off organically (not in the hobby), the reality is that you did not. And you may think you know the providers from the narrowly intimate nature of hobby, but you do not.

My advice: yes, be a human being who listens and engages at a basic level, but most importantly, keep it professional. My experience with another regular (who I saw exclusively for some time, but moved away a while back) is that there can be an ironic benefit to exploring that chemistry within the interpersonal boundaries of the hobby, free from the other burdens of a more traditional relationship (friends, lovers, or otherwise) - the good sex eventually evolved to being transcendent sex. Whatever was being communicated and experienced in those moments can be a great thing in and of itself, without the need to define it, act upon it, etc.

[Summer blondie]

Do I like my ATF? Yes I do. Does she like me? Well enough to continue to see me on a regular basis. Anything beyond that is bonus. We both seem happy with our arrangement and continue to book and plan sessions months in advance. Her expectations are clear and I meet them. My expectations are clear and she meets them. Either we have chemistry or she provides sufficient facsimile of it that I really don't care since I enjoy the hell out of our time together. I appreciate the fact that we are both business minded and in many ways it is a professional relationship. I am always careful to remember that first and foremost this is her livelihood (or at least part of it), as others in this thread seem to (see BTW below). I am very careful to be punctual in both my arrival and departure. In my mind, unless explicity invited to stay in no uncertain terms, overstaying is literally stealing from her.

BTW tip from the business world: When a client/customer starts talking discount, start talking about risk. While time is money, less money for time is always risk. I have done this with Fortune 500 companies; it works.

YES THANK YOU!!! I mean pretty much everything you said is on point and perfect 👍 thank you for being one of the hobby guys that gets it….

[WESTPAC]

YES THANK YOU!!! I mean pretty much everything you said is on point and perfect 👍 thank you for being one of the hobby guys that gets it….

Nice compliment. Thank you!

Respect is the best foundation for a relationship in any circumstance. A relationship were there is respect, and expectations and needs are being met; can't get much better than that.

[guyeefawkes]

It is amazing this started 2/2022. And still making rounds

Cmol1234...Ok. I just fell victim to an unwritten rule in this game. I caught feelings for a provider big time. I’ve seen her over 10 times in the past month and well, she says the same thing about me, but there’s no way we could possibly be together because of our outside lives ,but ,man, I’ve fallen hard and she says she really likes me and wishes that she met me on tinder instead of on here. I won’t say who she is because of her privacy. Fellas and ladies, can someone help me? Maybe she’s just telling me what I want to hear so that I can keep seeing her. I feel like my face is painted like a clown as I am typing this but I felt like I should still share. Any tips and advice whether mean or nice are welcomed. I’m shaking my head, but what can I do? My heart is now in it.

[Precious_b]

OP hasn't logged in since the day after he started this thread.
Did he stop because of the replies he got?