Am I the only one?

[Onei5430]

CubanAva - you are dead right. The responsibility falls on the gentlemen to READ and RESPECT boundaries. This I do. Perhaps my attempt to give examples has muddied the waters … my apologies. The issue is not about reading profiles, bartering, asking for menu options or even rates … it's about COMMUNICATION. Yet all too often all I get is no response at all, regardless the question. I guess I'm old school enough that I don't get it. I ran my own business for eight years. If I had communicated with my clients the way some of you ladies communicate (or don't communicate) I would have gone broke. Even stupid questions deserve a simple courteous response. Who knows, that person who asked a stupid question could turn into a potential great client.

[TexasBettyATX]

This has happened a few times, and they turned out to be great fellas who became regulars.

Who knows, that person who asked a stupid question could turn into a potential great client.

[CubanAva]

The only “stupid questions” are the ones you assume the answers to. I respond to most any message, sometimes even nameless texts, just depends on my mood.
You have to understand that while you may have only contacted the one provider, she’s probably gotten about 5 other messages or texts around the same time. Process of elimination: who has given the most useful information? Who has clearly communicated what they are contacting me for? When I respond, do they respond in a timely fashion? Do they acknowledge things in my ad to let me know they have read it thoroughly?
These things are important because we get a lot of time wasters. If you don’t show that you are not one of them by seeming genuinely interested, unfortunately you’ll sometimes be put on the back burner.

Those are just the things I personally look for when responding during times that I am actually available. I try to get to every single message but if I do not, it’s because I’ve made plans for that day and have left my phone alone or because I read something you’ve said and I do not wish to have any further contact with you, though it’s not unheard of for me to say “I’m not interested in seeing you.” And again, sometimes I just forget or think I’ve responded.

While I agree that it is a terrible habit, but it’s just as, if not moreso, mentally taxing on us. For every 1 you have, we have 10, not to mention NCNS. Keep that in mind when you’re booking, darlin. Also, it is a business, our business, so it directly effects us financially, whereas it only mildly inconveniences you.

[Retired Ninja]

You seem to think they owe you an answer, but they don't owe you anything, and the entitled attitude isn't likely to be a turn-on.

If you contact a lady and for whatever reason she decides not to answer you just take it as a no and move on. The passive aggressive "Well, since there has been no response..." isn't going to get you anywhere other than the trash can if she just happened to miss your first message or hasn't had time to respond yet.

I guess I'm lucky I haven't had any of my messages ignored, or maybe I'm just good at introducing myself. It's not hard.

Hello <her name>,

I'm <your handle> on <site> and I saw the ad you posted on <date>. I'm interested in seeing you for <time period> on <date> at <time> if you are available. If not I can do anytime from <time> to <time> on that day, or <another day> from <time> to <time>.

You may reach me here or <other contact information>. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Take care,
<handle>

Bonus points if there was something interesting you saw in her ad or on her website that you can mention to both let her know you read it and to possibly break the ice a little since you are a complete stranger to her. Something you might say to anyone in normal conversation, not "I saw your picture and I wanna rub my face all over them big tittays!" Objectification isn't a turn-on and is likely to get you right in the trash can too.

Treat her like the actual human she is, not a random interchangeable piece of meat, and you'll probably get better results. If she asks you for something either provide it or tell her no thank you and leave it. Sure, you might try and negotiate out of her screening or rate, but for most all that shows is you don't respect her or her boundaries before you meet so you won't if you meet.

Please don't take this the wrong way as it is meant to be helpful, if not to you than maybe others. Maybe you already do all of this and just have bad luck or we don't contact the same ladies, and in that case I feel for you. It is a business and their livelihood. I don't think anyone is in it to constantly have to say "I would have seen him if he didn't say or do X" So, don't be that guy and meet as many of these awesome ladies as you can!

[ThatSpot]

Try posting an ad on Craigslist. You'll quickly realize how stupid people are. I can't blame these ladies if they don't respond to every message.

[Kitty bunny fuck]

You seem to think they owe you an answer, but they don't owe you anything, and the entitled attitude isn't likely to be a turn-on.

If you contact a lady and for whatever reason she decides not to answer you just take it as a no and move on. The passive aggressive "Well, since there has been no response..." isn't going to get you anywhere other than the trash can if she just happened to miss your first message or hasn't had time to respond yet.

I guess I'm lucky I haven't had any of my messages ignored, or maybe I'm just good at introducing myself. It's not hard.

Hello <her name>,

I'm <your handle> on <site> and I saw the ad you posted on <date>. I'm interested in seeing you for <time period> on <date> at <time> if you are available. If not I can do anytime from <time> to <time> on that day, or <another day> from <time> to <time>.

You may reach me here or <other contact information>. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Take care,
<handle>

Bonus points if there was something interesting you saw in her ad or on her website that you can mention to both let her know you read it and to possibly break the ice a little since you are a complete stranger to her. Something you might say to anyone in normal conversation, not "I saw your picture and I wanna rub my face all over them big tittays!" Objectification isn't a turn-on and is likely to get you right in the trash can too.

Treat her like the actual human she is, not a random interchangeable piece of meat, and you'll probably get better results. If she asks you for something either provide it or tell her no thank you and leave it. Sure, you might try and negotiate out of her screening or rate, but for most all that shows is you don't respect her or her boundaries before you meet so you won't if you meet.

Please don't take this the wrong way as it is meant to be helpful, if not to you than maybe others. Maybe you already do all of this and just have bad luck or we don't contact the same ladies, and in that case I feel for you. It is a business and their livelihood. I don't think anyone is in it to constantly have to say "I would have seen him if he didn't say or do X" So, don't be that guy and meet as many of these awesome ladies as you can!

Yaaaaasss! You hit the nail right on the head.

[Austin Ellen]

This is very helpful indeed. Thank you,thank you.

You seem to think they owe you an answer, but they don't owe you anything, and the entitled attitude isn't likely to be a turn-on.

If you contact a lady and for whatever reason she decides not to answer you just take it as a no and move on. The passive aggressive "Well, since there has been no response..." isn't going to get you anywhere other than the trash can if she just happened to miss your first message or hasn't had time to respond yet.

I guess I'm lucky I haven't had any of my messages ignored, or maybe I'm just good at introducing myself. It's not hard.

Hello <her name>,

I'm <your handle> on <site> and I saw the ad you posted on <date>. I'm interested in seeing you for <time period> on <date> at <time> if you are available. If not I can do anytime from <time> to <time> on that day, or <another day> from <time> to <time>.

You may reach me here or <other contact information>. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Take care,
<handle>

Bonus points if there was something interesting you saw in her ad or on her website that you can mention to both let her know you read it and to possibly break the ice a little since you are a complete stranger to her. Something you might say to anyone in normal conversation, not "I saw your picture and I wanna rub my face all over them big tittays!" Objectification isn't a turn-on and is likely to get you right in the trash can too.

Treat her like the actual human she is, not a random interchangeable piece of meat, and you'll probably get better results. If she asks you for something either provide it or tell her no thank you and leave it. Sure, you might try and negotiate out of her screening or rate, but for most all that shows is you don't respect her or her boundaries before you meet so you won't if you meet.

Please don't take this the wrong way as it is meant to be helpful, if not to you than maybe others. Maybe you already do all of this and just have bad luck or we don't contact the same ladies, and in that case I feel for you. It is a business and their livelihood. I don't think anyone is in it to constantly have to say "I would have seen him if he didn't say or do X" So, don't be that guy and meet as many of these awesome ladies as you can!

[Nico Veneta]

I don't like being asked "what's your menu?" The problem is that it is a very broad question. I prefer when a gent lets me know what he is interested in and then I can give a definite yes or no answer.

Lustfully naughty
Nico Veneta

[SweetArielRae]

Retired ninja said it all. Now only if all guys could be that way. Lol. And not to mention to why other clients would care to how us ladies run our business. Who cares what you think especially when telling other clients oh I wouldn’t send or share that info or what ever the case may be. Apparently we are all doing just fine. Cock blockers if you ask me.

[Onei5430]

My initial reaction is to take offense to this, as there appears to be a lot of assumptions on your part directed at me. However, I do understand the internet and the way we respond to things is directly related to our mood at the time. You do have helpful information, most, if not all of which I do. I'll comment below:

You seem to think they owe you an answer, but they don't owe you anything, and the entitled attitude isn't likely to be a turn-on.

I can see where I've come across this way. I don't feel an answer is "owed" to me, but I do feel it is courteous. As well, I know there are many factors, some of which has already been discussed.

If you contact a lady and for whatever reason she decides not to answer you just take it as a no and move on. The passive aggressive "Well, since there has been no response..." isn't going to get you anywhere other than the trash can if she just happened to miss your first message or hasn't had time to respond yet.

Agreed!

I guess I'm lucky I haven't had any of my messages ignored, or maybe I'm just good at introducing myself. It's not hard.

Hello <her name>,

I'm <your handle> on <site> and I saw the ad you posted on <date>. I'm interested in seeing you for <time period> on <date> at <time> if you are available. If not I can do anytime from <time> to <time> on that day, or <another day> from <time> to <time>.

You may reach me here or <other contact information>. I'm looking forward to meeting you!

Take care,
<handle>

This is do … all the time!

Bonus points if there was something interesting you saw in her ad or on her website that you can mention to both let her know you read it and to possibly break the ice a little since you are a complete stranger to her. Something you might say to anyone in normal conversation, not "I saw your picture and I wanna rub my face all over them big tittays!" Objectification isn't a turn-on and is likely to get you right in the trash can too.

Again - agreed and objectification is something I never do. I was taught to respect people regardless of where they are in life.

Treat her like the actual human she is, not a random interchangeable piece of meat, and you'll probably get better results. If she asks you for something either provide it or tell her no thank you and leave it. Sure, you might try and negotiate out of her screening or rate, but for most all that shows is you don't respect her or her boundaries before you meet so you won't if you meet.

All of this makes an assumption that I am doing these things (at least that how it reads to me), I am not and do not. I never ask a lady to reduce her rate, I will ask it and if it is more than I can do, I simply thank her and move on. If it goes further than that, it is totally her call to initiate that conversation. All in all, these conversations take place AFTER there has been a reply. My initial post is about being ignored to begin with.

Please don't take this the wrong way as it is meant to be helpful, if not to you than maybe others. Maybe you already do all of this and just have bad luck or we don't contact the same ladies, and in that case I feel for you. It is a business and their livelihood. I don't think anyone is in it to constantly have to say "I would have seen him if he didn't say or do X" So, don't be that guy and meet as many of these awesome ladies as you can!

I did take offense, but I got over it. I'm thinking it is more due to bad luck at the moment. On the flip side, we all know people from every walk of life that really have no business sense. Some of the ladies are excellent with it comes to TBC and some don't give a damn, yet somehow, stay in 'business'. I'm probably just contacting the wrong ladies.

Anyway, I genuinely thank you for your input to this discussion. It is good for all of us to see and read. It's a good reminder on both sides of the fence to treat each other with the decency they deserve.

[Retired Ninja]

My initial reaction is to take offense to this, as there appears to be a lot of assumptions on your part directed at me. However, I do understand the internet and the way we respond to things is directly related to our mood at the time. You do have helpful information, most, if not all of which I do. I'll comment below:

I didn't mean to offend, and it's all certainly not all about you in particular. Get a little booze in me and I can rant like no tomorrow. :)

It just makes me sad for both sides when I hear guys saying they can't get ladies to respond while on the other side of the street I hear ladies say they have to turn away so many dudes that just shoot themselves in the foot.

I think even more now in the days of fosta/sesta it's better to approach that first contact like you're making a doctor or dentist appointment. Once you get past that first impression without triggering the spidey sense you should be good, but that first contact is when a lot of folks just make a yes/no gut check.

Good luck sir!

[Birdieman]

To the OP, yeah, you’re the only one. I always get a reply to my texts with rates and such. But, I only text if it’s not in their ad. 😊

[Onei5430]

To the OP, yeah, you’re the only one. I always get a reply to my texts with rates and such. But, I only text if it’s not in their ad. 😊

RIGHT!!!!!

[Birdieman]

You’re alright Onei.
Man, it’s the hobby. Win some lose some. I’ve been in your shoes before. Oh well. At the end of the day, it all works out. Maybe not they way we want but oh well. Can’t hobby forever so enjoy! Happy Hobbying!