Clients that want to "Hang Out as Friends", thoughts please

[Universal]

I have heard the ol cliche, we are good friends !!!
The definition of a real friends has your best interest at heart and will bring you something from the pharmacy when you are sick. A friend will come get you the day your car breaks down on the side of the road.
I will admire some tips on the subtle signs of a player trying to test me.
Please share your success/failure story of a client or provider friendship.
Friendship without the sex is the focus, keep the navigation gps system in the right lane my sexy friends

[canihitit]

A real friend is friendly with her pussy from time to time.

[mathguy]

Interesting thread Uni! I've wondered how common it is for guys to ask about that. I never have, but I've had real friends in the hobby. I never asked to hang out as friends...it just sorta happened or they asked me or whatever.

Some have even been more than friends, or at the very least extremely good friends with benefits , if not bordering much more toward a romantic relationship. I had one like that not long ago in fact. We are still good friends but we don't do the fwb/gf/bf sex thing now really. Mostly due to random life stuff & stresses, unfortunately. I won't say more on that one. Anyway.

Basically though, yea, real friends do things for each other. You scratch mine I'll scratch yours. That's the foundation for all relationships, all friendships...period.

[Classysexxx]

Nope never for me.

It's not Healthy.

Period.

The end

����

Unless your attending a Social or something together?

The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove help in any form without question or if you would,also be there for them without a blink of an eye like friends do.

I'm not saying hobbyists do not make great friends but yes only in the hobby.

I vote no...
And be firm in separating the two so no feelings are hurt in the future?
��

[MsFijiWater]

Hard pass.

[Universal]

A house of a divided partisan.
still watching the opinions without judgement

[mathguy]

Hard pass.

When you say hard pass what do you mean girly? Just trying to understand whatcha meant with respect to Uni's post. Do you mean hard pass on friends or hard pass on something beyond friends? Just curious is all. xoxo

Nope never for me.

It's not Healthy.

Period.

The end

����

Unless your attending a Social or something together?

The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove help in any form without question or if you would,also be there for them without a blink of an eye like friends do.

I'm not saying hobbyists do not make great friends but yes only in the hobby.

I vote no...
And be firm in separating the two so no feelings are hurt in the future?
��

I totally respect your right to separate the two but I don't think it's fair to say that it's "not healthy". Ya don't think that's a bit strong? :/ I wouldn't call it "unhealthy". Mine have been perfectly healthy. Certainly as healthy as the hobby could possibly be anyway (if we really want to get down to it).

The reason I mention it is not to disrespect your choice, not at all, I absolutely respect that, but you said at one point, "The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove.......".

But, see, that's exactly what real friends do. They do that because a friendship is built on give & take & common interests or attraction (not just sexual attraction - even hetero males can be "attracted" to other hetero males b/c they want to emulate them, be as successful as them, as smart, as good looking, have shared interests.....). The strength of the friendship is based on that level of give & take, along with how much time has transpired through that shared history. Very similar to family.

For example, if you went to jail for a DWI and a friend bailed you out on bond they likely are not doing this a few days after you've both met or even after becoming friends for a few weeks or a month or hanging out with each other for awhile. On the other hand if you have both been through many things together, over a long time, shared many trials & tribulations together, various pains, successes, etc... and have given/taken from one another in equitable amounts, then that's a strong friendship where this very likely could be expected.

It's totally within someone's right to separate them. TONS of guys would never in a million years entertain the types of relationships I've had (whether sexual/romantic or simply plain 'ol friends). I definitely think many more girls feel that way as well. But I wouldn't call it unhealthy for those that choose otherwise OR happened to have otherwise develop. IJS. Mainly on that part about the healthiness aspect.

[Universal]

It's not healthy, I think Classy is talking about mixing business (escort work)with personal affairs and the end result leads to being used for sex without a true friendship. People can take advantage of someone that is wanting a true friend.
Guys bond with other men and go on fishing trips, help each other with mechanical & building projects but sex isn't part of the friendship, unless it's something similar to the movie, Brokeback Mountain.
Would you stay friends with a man that wanted sex from you and you are a heterosexual male?

Edited for a missing comma

[NordicJag]

A real friend is friendly with her pussy from time to time.

So you expect free services, no matter what services those are, just because you are friends with someone? If you are friends with an Uber driver, do you expect free rides just because you are friends?

I have a regular that I have become good friends with. We help each other out. We see each other in casual settings. However, we also have a business relationship. I do not expect sex outside of this business relationship. For this to change, the relationship would have to go to a different level, which neither of us wants at this time.

[Lexieinhouston]

Cautionary tale:

I've always seen people trying to date or do things off the clock "as friends" as an attempt to be friends with benefits. After moving to Austin I met someone and let my guard down (my fault) because I was new here and am an empty nester, so I thought to myself that it may be fun to explore the city with this gentleman as friends. Here's the problem, then second you are doing things off the clock because you like someone and then they turn around and start paying for other people's time and not only that ladies are asking you for references, it just leaves a really bad taste in your mouth and leaves you feeling like a complete idiot.

As I said, I do blame myself for letting my heart get the better of me and wanting to be his friend outside the norm, but in my experience it's just a REALLY bad idea. Guys look upon this as a challenge and will do or say anything to pull this off, even throwing around words that should be reserved for someone you truly love.

I've heard since from others that it's not the first time he's done this. He's incredibly charming & a super smooth talker and kudos to him for being the first person to pull this off on me, because I consider myself a very good judge of character. If that weren't bad enough, he pulled my P411 vouch for him so that I couldn't warn others there and also I believe that he likely has numerous handles. I feel like this Austin gent may have even gone so far as to put it out there that I'm a flexible person, because since moving to Austin I've had an huge influx of people attempting to do this. One person even said he left his girlfriend for me...uhhh....WHY, I at no point indicated that I wanted to take her place in a real world setting, lol? Then there are the guys young and old who just believe they are God's gift to women and that they can get around almost anything.

I'm a super nice person and am very generous with my time if I feel we are compatible because I genuinely like what I do. My new policy is yes, I do want new friends here and I may be willing to go out for drinks, etc...but once we are back at my place or yours and I am in Chef mode, then I expect to be compensated for that time spent.

I'm not naming him because I'm willing to bet that many will know how I'm talking about. I believe him to be at his core a nice person who I most definitely met at the wrong time.

[Universal]

Cautionary tale:

I've always seen people trying to date or do things off the clock "as friends" as an attempt to be friends with benefits. After moving to Austin I met someone and let my guard down (my fault) because I was new here and am an empty nester, so I thought to myself that it may be fun to explore the city with this gentleman as friends. Here's the problem, then second you are doing things off the clock because you like someone and then they turn around and start paying for other people's time and not only that ladies are asking you for references, it just leaves a really bad taste in your mouth and leaves you feeling like a complete idiot.

As I said, I do blame myself for letting my heart get the better of me and wanting to be his friend outside the norm, but in my experience it's just a REALLY bad idea. Guys look upon this as a challenge and will do or say anything to pull this off, even throwing around words that should be reserved for someone you truly love.

I've heard from others that it's not the first time he's done this. He's incredibly charming & a super smooth talker and kudos to him for being the first person to pull this off on me, because I consider myself a very good judge of character. If that weren't bad enough, he pulled my P411 vouch for him so that I couldn't warn others there and also I believe that he likely has numerous handles. I feel like this Austin gent may have even gone so far as to put it out there that I'm a flexible person, because since moving to Austin I've had an huge influx of people attempting to do this. One person even said he left his girlfriend for me...uhhh....WHY, I at no point indicated that I wanted to take her place in a real world setting, lol? Then there are the guys young and old who just believe they are God's gift to women and that they can get around almost anything.

I'm a super nice person and am very generous with my time if I feel we are compatible because I genuinely like what I do. My new policy is yes, I do want new friends here and I may be willing to go out for drinks, etc...but once we are back at my place or yours and I am in Chef mode, then I expect to be compensated for that time spent.

I'm not naming him because I'm willing to bet that many will know how I'm talking about. I believe him to be at his core a nice person who I most definitely met at the wrong time.

I have heard many stories from several providers that clients will propose a friendship that turns into an actual monogamous relationship and find out later he was seeing other providers on paid time.
women & men want to be in a exclusive relationship that has feelings involved with a trusted partner but the same thing could happen with a dissatisfied person not getting their sexual needs met as an excuse to go outside the bedroom for sex.
Men have been used by women for material things while he was in pursuit of an intimate relationship. I saw this in college with strippers taking advantage of lonely, divorced men.


Not saying, you aren't meeting is needs BCD, just clarifying the usual excuse they use to see other ladies.
Sorry, you had to go through a misleading relationship Lexie.

[Fallout4]

You guys take this way to seriously. I like to keep it fun and casual. I’ve had drinks with a provider, taken them out to eat after a session, even had one call me to check out a car for her. Just a fun casual hang out no need to overthink things...

[Guest 011723-1]

Cautionary tale:

I've always seen people trying to date or do things off the clock "as friends" as an attempt to be friends with benefits. After moving to Austin I met someone and let my guard down (my fault) because I was new here and am an empty nester, so I thought to myself that it may be fun to explore the city with this gentleman as friends. Here's the problem, then second you are doing things off the clock because you like someone and then they turn around and start paying for other people's time and not only that ladies are asking you for references, it just leaves a really bad taste in your mouth and leaves you feeling like a complete idiot.

As I said, I do blame myself for letting my heart get the better of me and wanting to be his friend outside the norm, but in my experience it's just a REALLY bad idea. Guys look upon this as a challenge and will do or say anything to pull this off, even throwing around words that should be reserved for someone you truly love.

I've heard since from others that it's not the first time he's done this. He's incredibly charming & a super smooth talker and kudos to him for being the first person to pull this off on me, because I consider myself a very good judge of character. If that weren't bad enough, he pulled my P411 vouch for him so that I couldn't warn others there and also I believe that he likely has numerous handles. I feel like this Austin gent may have even gone so far as to put it out there that I'm a flexible person, because since moving to Austin I've had an huge influx of people attempting to do this. One person even said he left his girlfriend for me...uhhh....WHY, I at no point indicated that I wanted to take her place in a real world setting, lol? Then there are the guys young and old who just believe they are God's gift to women and that they can get around almost anything.

I'm a super nice person and am very generous with my time if I feel we are compatible because I genuinely like what I do. My new policy is yes, I do want new friends here and I may be willing to go out for drinks, etc...but once we are back at my place or yours and I am in Chef mode, then I expect to be compensated for that time spent.

I'm not naming him because I'm willing to bet that many will know how I'm talking about. I believe him to be at his core a nice person who I most definitely met at the wrong time.

+1000. Couldn't agree more.

[WW-DEAR_JOHN]

Back when I was very active in the hobby, it was a different day and time. This was back when ASPD was first started and there were a lot of socials. During these socials, it was pretty common that there was a lot of hanky-panky going on. We might be hanging out by the pool and somehow or another end up in some bed. No man or woman was ever forced to attend a social and most men and women knew what was going on. No lady was ever forced to play bouncing bedrooms, it was more like a handful of sexually charged people were coming out of their shells and having some good time at parties. Some lady may be conservative at work, come home and change clothes and become a wild child.

However if you got a 'taste' of what a session would be like, the men were expected to follow up with a paid session. Quid pro quo at it's finest.

Back then I would attend a social at the drop of a hat, however in today's day and time, my level of trust has gone out the window. If I attended a social, I would want some ladies to attend as there were many socials I attended where you met a lady eye to eye, got to talk to her, got to know her a bit, got to see how attractive and how they looked. All of this made a future session for both men and women easier of both. Most of my sessions were after socials, whether we played or not, and there was never a time I had a session with an independent provider without meeting her in the first place at a social.

Like I stated, it was a different day and time.

[Katrina]

Cautionary tale:

I've always seen people trying to date or do things off the clock "as friends" as an attempt to be friends with benefits. After moving to Austin I met someone and let my guard down (my fault) because I was new here and am an empty nester, so I thought to myself that it may be fun to explore the city with this gentleman as friends. Here's the problem, then second you are doing things off the clock because you like someone and then they turn around and start paying for other people's time and not only that ladies are asking you for references, it just leaves a really bad taste in your mouth and leaves you feeling like a complete idiot.

As I said, I do blame myself for letting my heart get the better of me and wanting to be his friend outside the norm, but in my experience it's just a REALLY bad idea. Guys look upon this as a challenge and will do or say anything to pull this off, even throwing around words that should be reserved for someone you truly love.

I've heard since from others that it's not the first time he's done this. He's incredibly charming & a super smooth talker and kudos to him for being the first person to pull this off on me, because I consider myself a very good judge of character. If that weren't bad enough, he pulled my P411 vouch for him so that I couldn't warn others there and also I believe that he likely has numerous handles. I feel like this Austin gent may have even gone so far as to put it out there that I'm a flexible person, because since moving to Austin I've had an huge influx of people attempting to do this. One person even said he left his girlfriend for me...uhhh....WHY, I at no point indicated that I wanted to take her place in a real world setting, lol? Then there are the guys young and old who just believe they are God's gift to women and that they can get around almost anything.

I'm a super nice person and am very generous with my time if I feel we are compatible because I genuinely like what I do. My new policy is yes, I do want new friends here and I may be willing to go out for drinks, etc...but once we are back at my place or yours and I am in Chef mode, then I expect to be compensated for that time spent.

I'm not naming him because I'm willing to bet that many will know how I'm talking about. I believe him to be at his core a nice person who I most definitely met at the wrong time.

I agree with you, it's a bad idea!!!