To play devil's advocate here and to put things in perspective let me point something out that displays my original postulate.
Oh, btw, no I do not support the comment you were responding to Jag (I wanna be clear on that up front). 
So, about the Uber driver. You are right in certain scenarios it would be a bit ridiculous if we are talking about a superficial "friendship". However, what if these are real friends? What if the one friend who knows the Uber driver has fixed the Uber drivers car a few times? Maybe this person, man or woman, is a gear-head/mechanic and spent hours of their time working on that car to change oil, fix a transmission, swap spark plugs, etc.... Or what if the friend has been there for the other friend on numerous occasions as a shoulder to cry on? What if they have done other favors for them? All kinds of things. You name it. Given of their time to help their friend (the Uber driver, regardless of which one is the man or woman).
Wouldn't you expect
"something" in return as a friend of this person? How could you possibly be real friends otherwise? If they never did anything at all? No free ride, no listening to your problems, no loaning you money, no having drinks with you, no playing pool with you, no hanging out to watch a movie, no sex (
*if* this was an opposite sex situation or romantic or FWB stuff was a possibility - obviously that is not
*always* desired, not even by the man, for a variety of reasons). But nothing? Never? It doesn't have to be sex.
Anyway, it does help illustrate my point that we all expect
something in return for our time. It's just that with long time friends, marriages, romances, etc... we give them the benefit of the doubt, we take much more for granted, especially the longer and stronger that relationship has become (over a long time). We don't question their loyalty or that bond (whether it's truly friendly/platonic, romantic, marriage, brother/sister, etc). Make no mistake though, that relationship, romantic, opposite sex, platonic, or whatever would never even get that far if neither person scratched each other's back from time to time. This is the foundation for all human relationships. It's even the foundation for most animal relationships period (not just human).
Oh, and, again, I'm not one bit saying that people in the hobby should do this (either gender). No no. But I also wouldn't call it prima facia unhealthy behavior. I've had it happen. Just as a couple girls above explained in their lives too. It just happened. There is nothing "wrong" with it. You just shouldn't expect it to happen. Too many men, like in the cautionary tale above by Lexie, end up having bad marriages, midlife crisis, etc... and they allow their sex time with a woman to romanticize the situation. This is absolutely the last thing you want to do. Trust me.
This is all true even outside the hobby. People don't spend enough time getting to know each other and totally romanticize a sexual encounter (again, even outside this hobby) and they can't see clearly. This is normal. Do you know why? Well, I'll explain since I love to do that
Oxytocin is traditionally thought of as a female hormone. It is not. Males produce it too. In fact a burst of it is released upon orgasm and ejaculation. Do you know what oxytocin is/does? Oxytocin is known as the
love hormone for good reason. Touching someone can even release oxytocin. It's what allows a woman to bond with her baby during nursing. It's what allows us to have such strong feelings for a sexual partner. It even allows us to build normal social relationships. It's a powerful hormone involved in creating strong feelings and attractions toward someone. And the act of having sex causes both man and woman to release it in much larger quantities than normal. Have you ever been attracted to someone, whether you are a man or woman, like very attracted, and you meet them, or brush up against them where your skin touches, like your fingers, or your hands touch, maybe even someone at a store, like a cashier, and you get that chill up your spine (the good kind), hairs stand on end even if for just a split second, and you get the
"goosies"?
Without going into all the details of brain chemistry, dopamine, serotonin, etc... what do you think is responsible for that quick and pleasant feeling?
Exactly. A mixture of oxytocin and a bunch of neurotransmitters stimulating your attraction to the other person and causing you to have that physical response (however brief it may be). Sex intensifies this a thousand fold. For both genders. This is why you should always make yourself do a reality check on the status of any
"relationship" after sex is involved. IJS folks
Hope this helps
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Originally Posted by NordicJag
