Clients that want to "Hang Out as Friends", thoughts please

[Universal]

I have heard the ol cliche, we are good friends !!!
The definition of a real friends has your best interest at heart and will bring you something from the pharmacy when you are sick. A friend will come get you the day your car breaks down on the side of the road.
I will admire some tips on the subtle signs of a player trying to test me.
Please share your success/failure story of a client or provider friendship.
Friendship without the sex is the focus, keep the navigation gps system in the right lane my sexy friends

[canihitit]

A real friend is friendly with her pussy from time to time.

[mathguy]

Interesting thread Uni! I've wondered how common it is for guys to ask about that. I never have, but I've had real friends in the hobby. I never asked to hang out as friends...it just sorta happened or they asked me or whatever.

Some have even been more than friends, or at the very least extremely good friends with benefits , if not bordering much more toward a romantic relationship. I had one like that not long ago in fact. We are still good friends but we don't do the fwb/gf/bf sex thing now really. Mostly due to random life stuff & stresses, unfortunately. I won't say more on that one. Anyway.

Basically though, yea, real friends do things for each other. You scratch mine I'll scratch yours. That's the foundation for all relationships, all friendships...period.

[Classysexxx]

Nope never for me.

It's not Healthy.

Period.

The end

����

Unless your attending a Social or something together?

The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove help in any form without question or if you would,also be there for them without a blink of an eye like friends do.

I'm not saying hobbyists do not make great friends but yes only in the hobby.

I vote no...
And be firm in separating the two so no feelings are hurt in the future?
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[MsFijiWater]

Hard pass.

[Universal]

A house of a divided partisan.
still watching the opinions without judgement

[mathguy]

Hard pass.

When you say hard pass what do you mean girly? Just trying to understand whatcha meant with respect to Uni's post. Do you mean hard pass on friends or hard pass on something beyond friends? Just curious is all. xoxo

Nope never for me.

It's not Healthy.

Period.

The end

����

Unless your attending a Social or something together?

The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove help in any form without question or if you would,also be there for them without a blink of an eye like friends do.

I'm not saying hobbyists do not make great friends but yes only in the hobby.

I vote no...
And be firm in separating the two so no feelings are hurt in the future?
��

I totally respect your right to separate the two but I don't think it's fair to say that it's "not healthy". Ya don't think that's a bit strong? :/ I wouldn't call it "unhealthy". Mine have been perfectly healthy. Certainly as healthy as the hobby could possibly be anyway (if we really want to get down to it).

The reason I mention it is not to disrespect your choice, not at all, I absolutely respect that, but you said at one point, "The only way this would ever be healthy is if that Friend did like you mentioned when push comes to shove.......".

But, see, that's exactly what real friends do. They do that because a friendship is built on give & take & common interests or attraction (not just sexual attraction - even hetero males can be "attracted" to other hetero males b/c they want to emulate them, be as successful as them, as smart, as good looking, have shared interests.....). The strength of the friendship is based on that level of give & take, along with how much time has transpired through that shared history. Very similar to family.

For example, if you went to jail for a DWI and a friend bailed you out on bond they likely are not doing this a few days after you've both met or even after becoming friends for a few weeks or a month or hanging out with each other for awhile. On the other hand if you have both been through many things together, over a long time, shared many trials & tribulations together, various pains, successes, etc... and have given/taken from one another in equitable amounts, then that's a strong friendship where this very likely could be expected.

It's totally within someone's right to separate them. TONS of guys would never in a million years entertain the types of relationships I've had (whether sexual/romantic or simply plain 'ol friends). I definitely think many more girls feel that way as well. But I wouldn't call it unhealthy for those that choose otherwise OR happened to have otherwise develop. IJS. Mainly on that part about the healthiness aspect.

[Universal]

It's not healthy, I think Classy is talking about mixing business (escort work)with personal affairs and the end result leads to being used for sex without a true friendship. People can take advantage of someone that is wanting a true friend.
Guys bond with other men and go on fishing trips, help each other with mechanical & building projects but sex isn't part of the friendship, unless it's something similar to the movie, Brokeback Mountain.
Would you stay friends with a man that wanted sex from you and you are a heterosexual male?

Edited for a missing comma

[mathguy]

It's not healthy, I think Classy is talking about mixing business (escort work)with personal affairs and the end result leads to being used for sex without a true friendship. People can take advantage of someone that is wanting a true friend.
Guys bond with other men and go on fishing trips, help each other with mechanical & building projects but sex isn't part of the friendship, unless it's something similar to the movie, Brokeback Mountain.
Would you stay friends with a man that wanted sex from you and you are a heterosexual male?

Edited for a missing comma

Well definitely if you are being used for sex. For sure that's not a healthy relationship.

What I was is saying is more along the lines that we all use each other to some extent. Even a marriage is just a couple of people who give and take to a point that they've agreed they want to spend their life together b/c of how they feel about each other and what they gain emotionally or whatnot from said relationship (which is the give/take). Change the dynamics though, take away some of the give and take, man or the woman is no longer attracted to the other, take away sex (either side), no helping clean the house, someone who won't work on finances anymore, won't work at all, gets a drug addiction, uses all money on gambling, steals things to support it, etc... etc... then the "love" (i.e. insanely intense romantic "friendship") goes away.

The only kind of relationship where a truly truly unselfish and totally absolutely bonafide 100% altruistic love or caring exists (with absolutely zero expectation of *anything* in return) is parent/child. Outside of that it's all how much you give and take.

Even a lifelong brother or sister can be forgotten and left to be on their own if they keep pissing on the family enough. No friendship or relationship is truly unconditional (with only exception being parent/child).

But, yes, I'd agree it would be unhealthy if a woman were simply being used for sex. I suppose that's what a lot of guys would end up doing :/ That has not been the case for me in the few relationships I recall (one very recent....romantic and still ongoing real life very good friendship too). But yes I do get whatcha mean about the possibility of being used for sex. Many guys probably would do that.

From that aspect it would not be a healthy relationship or friendship, true indeed. Great topic though and food for thought Uni!

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

If we lived in a different culture, one where sex was not so demonized and marginalized, then perhaps friendships among clients and providers might work well. But in the world we live in today, I think it’s wise and safer to separate friend relationships from business relationships.

I’ve met some wonderful women in this unholy realm, but I would be a fool to think that any of them are interested in a friend relationship with me.

[lovelyxxxo]

hey all good morning...
i would like to chime in if i may just to say i have a few hobbiest friends that i literally grab lunch with or drinks and one is even giving me surf lessons(if heat ever settles down) there is never any hints or pressure for anything other than just to hang out... i guess it just depends on the type you choose to hang with.. i prefer a gentleman i have seen for awhile and the trust is there. as well as i dont hang with any 18 to 29 yrs olds period sorry guys but most of the time one head is focused on one thing which is great but not for a hangout situation.. i prefer to be around more mature gentleman that have the wisdom needed and yet the personality of their collage selves..

[Krystal_RoseBBW]

I have a very good friend that was once a very regular client. The evolution of our relationship wasn't exactly discussed. It just happened naturally.

We do still sometimes have sex, but they are paid sessions and are scheduled accordingly. He respects me enough to not ask me to work for free.
If we are just hanging out, it is understood that if "work" comes up (and if I can't afford to pass) that takes precedence. He understands that, sometimes, my "job" has me "on call" and I have responsibilities.

I also have another client that I have known nearly 16 years. Every once in a while, we go for some sushi after a session as just friends. He never pressures for more and understands if I cannot linger too long over the meal.

My ex husband was a client before he was my husband. Then he was a client again for a short while. Now, we are just very good friends (w/out benefits) LOL

These are TRUE friends in that I know that they are each someone I can turn to for a sympathetic ear when I am in need and I am the same for them.

[NordicJag]

A real friend is friendly with her pussy from time to time.

So you expect free services, no matter what services those are, just because you are friends with someone? If you are friends with an Uber driver, do you expect free rides just because you are friends?

I have a regular that I have become good friends with. We help each other out. We see each other in casual settings. However, we also have a business relationship. I do not expect sex outside of this business relationship. For this to change, the relationship would have to go to a different level, which neither of us wants at this time.

[Lexieinhouston]

Cautionary tale:

I've always seen people trying to date or do things off the clock "as friends" as an attempt to be friends with benefits. After moving to Austin I met someone and let my guard down (my fault) because I was new here and am an empty nester, so I thought to myself that it may be fun to explore the city with this gentleman as friends. Here's the problem, then second you are doing things off the clock because you like someone and then they turn around and start paying for other people's time and not only that ladies are asking you for references, it just leaves a really bad taste in your mouth and leaves you feeling like a complete idiot.

As I said, I do blame myself for letting my heart get the better of me and wanting to be his friend outside the norm, but in my experience it's just a REALLY bad idea. Guys look upon this as a challenge and will do or say anything to pull this off, even throwing around words that should be reserved for someone you truly love.

I've heard since from others that it's not the first time he's done this. He's incredibly charming & a super smooth talker and kudos to him for being the first person to pull this off on me, because I consider myself a very good judge of character. If that weren't bad enough, he pulled my P411 vouch for him so that I couldn't warn others there and also I believe that he likely has numerous handles. I feel like this Austin gent may have even gone so far as to put it out there that I'm a flexible person, because since moving to Austin I've had an huge influx of people attempting to do this. One person even said he left his girlfriend for me...uhhh....WHY, I at no point indicated that I wanted to take her place in a real world setting, lol? Then there are the guys young and old who just believe they are God's gift to women and that they can get around almost anything.

I'm a super nice person and am very generous with my time if I feel we are compatible because I genuinely like what I do. My new policy is yes, I do want new friends here and I may be willing to go out for drinks, etc...but once we are back at my place or yours and I am in Chef mode, then I expect to be compensated for that time spent.

I'm not naming him because I'm willing to bet that many will know how I'm talking about. I believe him to be at his core a nice person who I most definitely met at the wrong time.

[Universal]

So you expect free services, no matter what services those are, just because you are friends with someone? If you are friends with an Uber driver, do you expect free rides just because you are friends?

I have a regular that I have become good friends with. We help each other out. We see each other in casual settings. However, we also have a business relationship. I do not expect sex outside of this business relationship. For this to change, the relationship would have to go to a different level, which neither of us wants at this time.

The example about the Uber driver was a fair
reality call