i found this on NPR news website today. a very good read.
my summary: consent in a sexual encounter is important.
one really good way (esp in the kink community) is to communicate what you hope for, want, expect, wont do, etc.

we could all learn from the kink community.
or others could learn from us


How To Talk About Sex (And Consent): 4 Lessons From The Kink Community
https://n.pr/30YiE06