Selina has a random rant....

[Seductive Selina]

Not too sure if this is the right spot but I'm going to post anyway.

Here's my random rant, enjoy.

First of all if we've never met for a session please do not use me as a reference. If I've screened you before but we've never actually met for a session again please do not use me as a reference. If I know you in the real world and we've fucked drunk/ sober before AGAIN do not use me as a reference. You need to go through the providers correct screening process whatever it may be. But don't use me. And to clarify what I just mentioned- I'm basically saying because we have hooked up outside of the hobby and you know that I'm a provider doesn't mean I will vouch for you. I dont mix both worlds.

Secondly, I don't just ask for screening info to look at it. The providers will be contacted. If they choose to not respond there is nothing I can do about it, sorry. They have that right I get it. But I hope they don't expect me to respond to them in the future. I am very reference friendly though so don't get it twisted. Those so called "right now" appointments won't happen with me unless we met before and even then chances are I'll need time to get ready. My ad ALWAYS states my screening process. So to avoid the back and forth send it all in the initial message please.

Carry on lovers xoxo

[gfejunkie]

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me and a good reminder for all.

[mathguy]

I think it's totally reasonable Selina. All of it. In fact, I even agree more so on the "outside the hobby thing".

I've had certain things along those lines happen with a few girls during my time. I find it extremely disrespectful to equate "non-hobby" sex with any girl whom I knew was a "provider" to be considered as "hobby-sex". It's weird to me to look at it that way. Very disrespectful and spoils what we did have (however brief or long). *shrug*

Some years back I knew a stripper and found out she was a provider but I don't equate any of our sex as hobby sex just b/c we were fuck buddies. I helped her on occasion like gave her rides, fixed her starter on her car, etc... but never paid her for sex. The other couple are actually girls I knew only as providers initially but I personally never had sex with them as "hobby sex" (i.e. I never paid them for sex). And I never would consider any of it as such. I think the notion is so disrespectful (to both people) and I totally understand. Wow.

Not unreasonable at all. Not at all.

[Wrswrs]

Selina it has been a minute since I have seen you but your TCB was on point and the visit was perfect. You are polished pretty and beyond talented and fun.

[britttany_love]

Not too sure if this is the right spot but I'm going to post anyway.

Here's my random rant, enjoy.

First of all if we've never met for a session please do not use me as a reference. If I've screened you before but we've never actually met for a session again please do not use me as a reference. If I know you in the real world and we've fucked drunk/ sober before AGAIN do not use me as a reference. You need to go through the providers correct screening process whatever it may be. But don't use me. And to clarify what I just mentioned- I'm basically saying because we have hooked up outside of the hobby and you know that I'm a provider doesn't mean I will vouch for you. I dont mix both worlds.

Secondly, I don't just ask for screening info to look at it. The providers will be contacted. If they choose to not respond there is nothing I can do about it, sorry. They have that right I get it. But I hope they don't expect me to respond to them in the future. I am very reference friendly though so don't get it twisted. Those so called "right now" appointments won't happen with me unless we met before and even then chances are I'll need time to get ready. My ad ALWAYS states my screening process. So to avoid the back and forth send it all in the initial message please.

Carry on lovers xoxo

I totally agree. If it was real world and off the clock business then he shouldn't be expecting you mix business with pleasure. That's just as silly as if you turned it around and told him since you want to use me as a reference you owe me for the "time" you enjoyed. Sounds more like a guy who is trying to take advantage of the situation. If he wants help in the hobby then he needs to book an appointment and do things the proper way.

[Checking]

Fight club rules apply, you do not talk about the hobby....and then you still don't talk about the hobby world! :) FYI Selina, you are seriously HOT!

[Lexieinhouston]

Couldn’t agree more!

[Stewie griffen]

Get’em girl......

[Valentina Voluptua]

Yep. Despite literally having a link to my booking form with offerings and donations in my signature line, and mentioning it in every ad, I still get an overwhelming amount of: "Hi, I've seen KittyPussi69 in Houston, she has a profile here."

No introduction, no name, no two refs, no day or time they want to meet, no hobby phone.... sigh

A lot of us do really try to make it easy on you fellers but to our consternation, some just make it so hard.

And like Selina, I don't ask for references just to because I like typing over and over that I need them, my assistant actually checks them and needs to hear from the reference. I would be very happy to take more same day appointments with a few hour notice if getting men screened wasn't like pulling teeth.

[3daygetaway]

First and foremost, this is not a RANDOM rant. Someone broke the rules and took advantage of sweet Selina...and from the sound of it, it’s been happening to other providers too, but it might not be for the reasons you think. I blame misinterpretation and misunderstanding instead of disrespect.

I’m guessing guys who do this are trying to communicate quickly and discreetly, probably as our wives are in the next room, and are either intimidated or dissuaded by Registration Forms (I know I hate filling them out). Even you must admit that going to the doctor, for example, when you are feeling bad, having to fill out forms is the last thing you want to do (not the same but similar).

Perhaps vetting feels impersonal, or maybe it requires thinking with the big head in a moment we are trying to focus on the little one. Whatever an individual’s aversion to properly screening is, I’m certain it’s not intentionally slighting you. I suggest making your screening more seductive. Instead of asking “list three Provider references from the last _ days,” what if you said “So, Joe, what kind of girls do you like? Who have you seen recently that really turned you on? I’m going to find out her secret, so I know how to please you best!” I’m a proponent of screening, but it is incongruous with the rest of the experience—it is on the PROVIDERS to shift the paradigm to be in alignment with the rest of the advertised, sexy experience.

Next, I would also (like the offender) assume that my OTC rapport with a woman was the same as my ON the clock rapport, so I’m surprised to hear that I could be considered differently, but I recognize that my criteria for screening is far more limited (such as: did he beat, steal, or arrest me)? Those all seem likely to be discovered in a real-world/off the clock scenario.

So, I’m trying to learn something new and will postulate on what the “between the lines” to be read here is:

“If we fucked off the clock, that’s different than a session and should not be used for references.”
—Extrapolation: either I didn’t write it down and don’t remember, or my booker/manager/pimp doesn’t know about it, so they cannot reference for me.

“If we’ve never sessioned, don’t use me as a reference.”
—Extrapolation: I have a different handle on every board and so do you, so I lose track of all the different dudes I’ve boffed, since I don’t know your real name. If we’ve met as Antony and Cleopatra from EgyptianHos.com, don’t have someone ask “Juliet” (me) to verify that I’ve seen “Romeo” (you) from VeronaHos.com. To me, or my booker, those are two different men.

Or, maybe it’s that guys think of a reference as an inconvenience for their previous providers and are trying to save y’all time. Imagine a guy wants to get laid and shops four providers: each one calls his last three session-references—that’s 12 calls (each past provider received and replied to four calls, which is onerous—OR—the first one COULD take one for the team and places the three calls, then receives three more, sharing her research—half as many calls are made; half as much time spent. But wait:a reference isn’t like a credit score; equal to all inquisitors? There isn’t an aggregator of this info and a clearinghouse of data on clients? That’s weird: because these forums provide EXACTLY that resources for guys—maybe you can appreciate the misunderstanding. We think we are on equal playing grounds.

“Don’t send me a list of who you’ve diddled with no other information and expect me to be your orthodontist.”
—Extrapolation: I need you to invest a little heavier on the front end. Use the “Notes” section in your profile to keep a list of dates you sessioned and with which providers, preferably with a link to their profiles, and/or contact numbers, so it’s an easy cut-n-paste into your initial message to me. -or- if I have a form, and you don’t use it, I will simply block your illiterate, impatient ass.

“If the girl I call to vouch for you doesn’t respond, tough cookies”
—Extrapolation: message her and tell her to expect a call from me: you don’t apply for a new job and not ask your references if you can put their info down, do you?

“My signature line has my rates, offerings, and screening requirements in it: follow them motherfucker.”
—Extrapolation: if it is unclear what I want, in any way, you are STILL responsible for doing things my way, BUT if you are perceptive enough to figure it out, I’ll suck your dick ANY WAY YOU LIKE IT.

Am I right? Wrong? Do you agree there may be room for misinterpretation?

[mathguy]

3day I think you hit the nail on the head on some of the items you mentioned, but this one I'm not so sure about:

“If we fucked off the clock, that’s different than a session and should not be used for references.”
—Extrapolation: either I didn’t write it down and don’t remember, or my booker/manager/pimp doesn’t know about it, so they cannot reference for me.

This one sounds a tiny bit scathing. I'm sure this might happen, but I don't think this is what Selina meant (I realize you would never mean offense to her - I know). Off the clock doesn't just mean b/c the girl gave some extra time. We've all had that happen many times. I've stayed with a girl the entire night even though it was only supposed to be a "hhr" of playtime. I've also had truly non-hobby experiences where no money whatsoever was involved (as I mentioned in my earlier post).

Just like some of my experiences over the years, I think she was talking about truly off the clock, or rather, a better wording might be, "non-sessioned". Such as, fuck buddies or good friends with occasional benefits, or maybe you even met for drinks to do a scheduled session but clicked in such an undeniably explosive way that the session (i.e. paid) never happened, or some other variant where you had no idea she was a provider, but then maybe found out later. I've had each one of those scenarios happen in some form or another. LOTS of different things happen in this crazy world. I wouldn't consider any of my experiences like these, or the girl, to be one I would ever use as a reference.

If you payed her for a scheduled appointment then I think it's fair to consider her a reference (even if you stayed the entire night as I mentioned earlier but only ended up paying $200 - b/c that's just what got left on the dresser and you both woke up in the a.m. tangled together, hungover, and you were late for work so scurried out the door). As long as you don't still see her on a continued unpaid basis. That happens too. You see them once or twice as a provider (or at some point in the past) then it becomes more of a FWB thing. Not a reference. A reference is only someone you see strictly on business terms IMO.

If you never paid, you never scheduled time with her, you were just friends who happened to be fucking, even if you only knew her as a provider first, then that's not someone you should ever reference under any circumstances. Or even if you scheduled time but you just never ended up paying (no, I don't mean you ripped her off - you guys know what I mean...lol). I still think it's disrespectful to the both of you to try to use her as a reference.

Why? It cheapens your experience. It says, *you* are only good or seen as a "John". It says, *she* is only good or seen as a "******". That's very sad and disrespectful IMO.

Perhaps vetting feels impersonal, or maybe it requires thinking with the big head in a moment we are trying to focus on the little one. Whatever an individual’s aversion to properly screening is, I’m certain it’s not intentionally slighting you. I suggest making your screening more seductive. Instead of asking “list three Provider references from the last _ days,” what if you said “So, Joe, what kind of girls do you like? Who have you seen recently that really turned you on? I’m going to find out her secret, so I know how to please you best!” I’m a proponent of screening, but it is incongruous with the rest of the experience—it is on the PROVIDERS to shift the paradigm to be in alignment with the rest of the advertised, sexy experience.

I do agree with most of this, absolutely.

I think those are some good ideas too. Many girls, not all, some are great, need to realize that although, yes, it takes time to schedule, vet, drive, clean-up, deal with cancellations...... all of this stuff is part of the deal. It's part of doing business. It's just like if you were a sales person at an electronics store or a car dealer.

The very best girls are the ones who know how to speak via text, they virtually never get mad or shout or become dramatic, they are not too pushy, they are sexy, flattering, make brief small talk, yadda yadda. And if you don't end up "buying", once again, they don't get mad.

Would a sales person at Macy's, or some fancy department store like Saks, whom had taken time to let you try on 5-6 different dresses, or size you, find shoes, etc... do such a thing? Or take the men's version at some suit department store. Same deal. And let's say you decide, "Hmm, nah, not today, but thank you very much for your time...I'll be back". Would they sneer at you? Get mad? Absolutely not. If the boss saw that he/she would even likely fire him/her on the spot. So I do think that some girls need to sharpen up their business skills/TCB. Take pointers from girls like Selina, BL, KBF, KateKennedy, Ava, Ambree, Nayeli.... and many others (sorry - I can't list you all).

[3daygetaway]

“If we fucked off the clock, that’s different than a session and should not be used for references.”
—Extrapolation: either I didn’t write it down and don’t remember, or my booker/manager/pimp doesn’t know about it, so they cannot reference for me.

Definitely not meant as a dig.

Imagine being held accountable for one’s time, as you’d be to an employer but self-managed in the day to day. If I have an appointment with a client but don’t put it on my calendar, when my boss or my assistant try to verify how many meetings I took, it won’t matter if I made the deal happen with that client: they want a paper trail.

I am implying the same logic works—if it was casual and not in the record of transactions, there is no way for the assistant or boss to know, NOR could you accurately recall taking a particular meeting two months ago, when you have three meetings per day in a different city each week.

[mathguy]

Ah I see what you meant. That's fair. I read it a bit differently b/c of the wording, which sounded a little harsh, but I get what you mean now.

[MarkWatney]

If only there were a site where the gals could okay the guys she's seen, and the guys could invite the gals to view their okays for screening.

Oh, wait, there is: https://preferred411.com

1 year membership: $149 for the guys (not sure how that works for the gals)

Not having to futz around with references: Priceless

But unless she is posted as Available Now, you still have to wait a bit in most cases. Getting all hot and bothered isn't helpful.

In most cases, it's best to wait until you identify the lady you just can't live without banging, and then jump through all the necessary hoops, which she will guide you through if she so desires.

Her kitty, her rules. Or in Selina's case, her kitty rules.

[britttany_love]

Only flaw with the okay system on that site is the client has to request the okay. In the last 2 years. I have only had like 3 clients actually request and okay after the session yet they use me as a reference. This is fine but like you said it is a huge perk of using p411. Ladies used to be able to ok the gentlemen themselves after the session however people were abusing the okay system and giving out okays to clients they never met for incentives. I've heard from a few guys they stop asking for okays because quite frankly they dont want it to be out there for all ladies to see who they have met with or after having so many they figure they dont need current ones.

P411 is a great tool however after gina left and it being taken of by who knows who I can see why a lot of people are iffy about the site. We still haven't been told anything about the new owners and they have a lot of personal information on a lot of people.