Blow Job 101 Article

[Oralist]

OK, so I love BJs. Here is an article about giving them. I found it after reading Island Gent's Thread about DATY. I disagree with a couple of their tips and am adding a couple of more, from my perspective.



Ever wonder what goes down behind closed doors at blow job workshops? Wonder no more!

Below, sex educators and other experts from around the country share their best advice from BJ classes. (NSFW material ahead!)

1. Start slow.
“It’s fun to start soft. Let your partner get hard in your mouth, without any motion. Just let them experience the warmth of your breath and wetness of your tongue then gently begin to suck. Anticipation will make your partner even hotter.” ― Rebekah Beneteau, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

2. Don’t shy away from lube.
“People often think that their own saliva will be enough lubrication to get the job done. It’s actually best to add a bit of lube to get started: either water-based or silicone. After a few minutes, you may build up enough of your own juices to keep the action going. Sucking on a hard, sugar-free candy can also help you build up saliva.” ― Melissa Jones, a sexologist and executive director of the Sexology Institute and Boutique in San Antonio, Texas

Only use water based Lubes that are meant for sex. KamaSutra Vanilla is my favorite.

3. Get handsy.
“Remember: A good blow job is 50 percent hands. Using your hands, with even pressure and friction in concert with your mouth, does more than what your mouth can do on its own. It can make or break a blow job experience.” ― Elle Chase, a sex educator and author of Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life

I prefer Hands Free most of the time. It's a Blow Job, not a Hand Job!

4. Ask questions.
“Ask questions before you start and even during if you aren’t sure he’s having a good time. Every man is different. They don’t all like the same thing. Don’t ask broad questions like ‘Is this good?’ Instead, ask yes or no questions that give you concrete information, like, ‘Would you like it faster?’” ― Trevor Jones, a sex, kink and intimacy coach and co-host of the webinar “The Joy of Oral: Make Your Next Mouthful Matter”

5. Work with the curve and angle of your partner’s penis.
“Deep throating isn’t for everyone, but if it is something you want to do, having your mouth and throat match the angle of your partner’s penis can help. If they are curved or angled upward for instance, being on your knees below them would not work as well because their penis would be more likely to hit the roof of your mouth than go smoothly down your throat. In that case, have them lie down on a bed, kneel next to them facing their feet, and lean down until you’re comfortable. From there, open your throat like you would for a yawn ― now your partner’s penis can slide down your throat at a more comfortable and natural angle.” ― Amory Jane, a sex educator and education coordinator at She Bop, a sex toy boutique in Portland, Oregon

6. Give him your undivided attention.
“Give him your attention, not his penis. Let him know you desire his pleasure and satisfaction by giving frequent eye contact, saying his name, asking him how he likes it or if he wants anything special. Eye contact also allows you to read his body language, to see how he responds to different techniques.” ― Melissa Jones

7. Don’t forget “the boys.”
“To give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with ‘the boys’ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing ― the part where you’re most likely hurting your jaw.” ― Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California

8. Be in the moment.
“You’re putting your partner’s most coveted body part in your mouth and between your teeth ― that takes an enormous amount of trust. Savor the experience. Show your partner how much you recognize this by treating their blow job with enthusiasm, focused attention and high regard.” ― Elle Chase

CIM is the BJ "Icing On The Cake". If you don't swallow, have a cloth handy to dispose of his load. Then get back to gently sucking, as we still have great sensations after orgasm. The worst is to immediately jump up and run to the bathroom to spit and rinse. Men like to caress and kiss as we enjoy our afterglow, just as women do.

Mix it up. Shallow, deep, slow, fast, licking, sucking. Use that tongue, too. Some like wet, sloppy and noisy, too. Hum a little, too. There's a reason it's also called a Hum Job. The same movement over and over is boring!

And NO TEETH, ever!

One more to add. A twisting motion while your bobbing is frigg'in awesome! A well known Gal does twisting DT and it will make a dead man cum!

[Kandii_Kane]

Very interesting read

[The Water Company ~]

7. Don’t forget “the boys.”
“To give a successful blow job, you have to pay attention to his balls. Go back and forth, popping each one into your mouth and going back every now and again to lick the whole sack area. I encourage starting your blow job here, actually; spending a bit of time with ‘the boys’ helps boost his arousal before you start bobbing ― the part where you’re most likely hurting your jaw.” ― Sasha Rene, founder of the Blow By Blow workshop in San Diego, California

.... from an Oral Polyglot, while sucking on ''the boys'' i never forget to give attention to the perineum area (P-spot)


fyi: the P-spot is not the anus

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

Good stuff Oralist, thanks for shearing.

But contrary to your opinion, I agree with tip #3. I like the BJs that are the artful combination of mouth and hands.

[Nascobar21]

This is a good read. So here’s my intake on CIM (lol no pun intended), it’s an icing on the cake. Bbbj is my requirement but CIM not so much technically. The only reason I require CIM, is so I can enjoy the bbbj WITHOUT the hesitation from the provider. In my earlier years in the hobby, I’ve had awkward or bad experiences where she would perform Bbbj but keep stopping because I might release unexpectedly, or keeps complaining not to CIM, or try to finesse with a HJ. Not only it kills the vibe, it makes the bbbj experience not enjoyable. For me, the joy of getting a Bbbj with “Peace of mind”, makes the experience great.

IMHO, I honestly think that ANY provider that’s not open to CIM should not provide BBBJ, stick to CBJ. Not being open to CIM only takes away from the experience of performing a Bbbj.

Swallowing - It it would be the choice of the provider since it’s the aftermath of the service. It’s not a requirement for most guys.

[Island_Gent]

Very good read. And agreed NO TEETH(for emphasis). And CIM, even if you’re a spitter. 👍🏾👍🏾

All excellent pointers, although as far as #7 goes, mine may be a minority opinion, but my boys are pretty sensitive and I’m not terribly big on BLS or any kinda play with the fellas or prostate play.

[The Water Company ~]

All excellent pointers, although as far as #7 goes, mine may be a minority opinion, but my boys are pretty sensitive and I’m not terribly big on BLS or any kinda play with the fellas or prostate play.

Noted.

Thanks,

[Island_Gent]

Noted.

Thanks,

I see you Boss Lady. ✍🏾😉🤗🙏🏾

[ck1942]

SMH!!! BJs are almost just like DATY, imo. Since both the male and female anatomy (yes, there are differences, but) share much the same set(s) of nerve endings.

In DATY, there must usually be a "warm up" prior to the application of anything to the immediate area.

Sometimes the warm up includes gentle pressure, light rubbing on the clothed genital region, perhaps even offside to the g region, like gentles stroking of the inside of the thighs, perhaps gentle scratching or stroking using the finger nails.... once the barrier of dryness has been resolved, then gentle stimulation of the external areas following by gentle nips, kisses, licks, etc. of the surrounding area occasionally grazing the "external" target which can be gently peeled/rolled open, not pried!

Once the aroused area has been more exposed, gently, repeat, gently continue the stimulation of the outer lips, then the inner lips and the clitoral area and then the clitoris.

Always assume that the owner of the area will give hints and response to the stimuli, and follow those hints.

If there are no direct hints, inquire!

Almost every lady has her own preferences to DATY, and unless there is prior experience in person, almost every male has not a prior clue to personal preferences.

Above all, communication is the key to ultimate "funners."

YES, this is a thread about BJs, so, in the interest of responding directly to the OP's title....

In BJ's...

Sometimes the warm up includes gentle pressure, light rubbing on the clothed genital region, perhaps even offside to the g region, like gentles stroking of the inside of the thighs, perhaps gentle scratching or stroking using the finger nails.... now it is time for clothing to be or the member to be totally exposed, and

once the barrier of total dryness has been resolved, usually with a bit of precum, then gentle stimulation of the external areas following by gentle nips, kisses, licks, etc. of the surrounding area occasionally grazing the "external" target which can be gently peeled/rolled open if necessary, not pried! Not grabbed, never bitten and never immediately attacked.

Once the aroused area has been more exposed, gently, repeat, gently continue the stimulation of the total area, the sack, the sack's contents, the nearby perineum, even the rectal area at times.

Always assume that the owner of the area will give hints and response to the stimuli, and follow those hints.

If there are no direct hints, inquire!

Almost every male has his own preferences to the BJ, and unless there is prior experience in person, almost every female has not a prior clue to personal preferences.

Above all, communication is the key to ultimate "funners."

[Universal]

TASTE OF SEMEN & NOT SWALLOWING
13 women describe the taste
Fresh oysters
“I gawked a little the first time I tried it. It reminded me about the taste and feel of raw oysters, only a little more watery

2. Old pennies
“Every man seems to taste different. Sometimes very bitter, others are sweeter tasting. But most of the time there is always this lingering aftertaste of pennies in my mouth

3. Creamy chlorine cleanser
“My man’s semen smells like cleaning products used for bleaching. I’d say it tastes like a creamy chlorine cleanser with a bleachy flavor

4. Black truffle
“Actually, I don’t mind the taste of it. It’s not that I love it, but I can live with it

5. Balloons
“Do you remember that taste you had when you chewed on a balloon as a kid? That’s exactly how my boyfriend’s semen tastes like

6. Salty mushrooms
“My boyfriend’s cum has an acidic and bitter taste most of the time


7. Salty seawater
“During my time in college I’ve given a lot of head, so I know firsthand that flavors somewhat differ. It’s not only that each man’s semen tastes different, but also that the taste of one man can vary heavily. It depends on what they eat or drink

8. Soap
“Well, I wouldn’t say semen tastes delicious or anything, but it’s okay-ish. Sometimes it makes me feel icky, because it has this soapy off-taste

9. Slimy pool water
“It’s like slimy pool water. The taste of semen can be really salty, with a slight flavor of chlorine mixed with sour apple

10. Tasteless jibber
“Usually, there’s no taste at all. I mean it’s a little salty, a little bitter and sometimes a little sweet, but there’s not much of a distinct flavor


11. Salty goo
“I’m convinced there are some chemicals in my husband’s semen that get me really aroused. It’s like an aphrodisiac to me. I just love every aspect of it, the warmth, the unique taste

12. Bad sour cream
“My hubby’s cum tastes really awful. Like sour cream that has gone bad

13. Shampoo
“Personally, I really don’t like the whole feel to it. It somehow tastes like salty shampoo

[mathguy]

Nice post Oralist. Personally I don't agree with what some of these experts recommended but some of the items are great. It's just my personal preference.

#1 Awesome. Definitely just let it get hard in the mouth ladies. That's very sexy, no hands. Mmmm.
#2 Not sure about the lube. I don't really like that idea much but every once in a while some hands are "ok" if she knows what she's doing.
#3 Absolutely don't like this one. I like a BJ with no hands (or very little hands). The hands are good at times. Don't get me wrong. It gives a girl a break and if she can stroke it right, play with the nerves at the tip, it can be great.
But a girl who can get on her hands and knees, arch her back, stick her ass in the air and just take the whole thing in with no hands, or even just half of it, is FUCKING SEXY AS HELL. Makes me hard just thinking about it hahaha.

The rest are all pretty self explanatory. Mostly about communicating and being present, listen to your partner, feel them, etc... Those all go in the same bucket.
Kind of agree with IG about the balls things. Not really into too much BLS. It's okay but I just don't really care all that much. But, yes, NO TEETH. Open wide ladies

The CIM thing is great b/c of how intense it is. The head of the penis has all the nerve endings (very similar to the clit as CK mentioned). When the blast of semen (which comes from 4 glands - semen is a mix of sperm, amino acids, citric acid, zinc.... from the prostate, seminal vesicles, testes....) comes out it produces an intense reaction on the head of the penis.

For some people it can be super intense. Just like how a woman can't contain herself with the clit being touched sometimes, because it feels soooo good, almost painful, but in a good way, that they can't control, and they have to push away, or push the man off, the same thing happens with men during CIM. For it's about that intense. Sometimes I can't handle it b/c it feels soooooo good (unlike cumming inside the vagina). The difference is the intense suction, tongue action, etc... that is occurring on the nerve endings at the glans (head) as the semen comes out and all the nerves are hyper stimulated (just like the clit thing with women). I literally have had to push a girls head away b/c I can barely handle it. Not always. It depends. Sometimes I'm fine. Other times my body wants to curl up into a fetal position LMAO. I just have to get a break. The cum won't even all be out yet. If a girl stays locked on and just won't give up, even with your nudges and trying to get away, it can be INTENSELY sexual and stimulating. It is probably up there with the most mind blowing of orgasms you can have.

That being said, I don't usually like to cum that way. Well, okay, I love it....lol. But I don't like to do it all that much. I prefer to be engaged with my lover in a more passionate way in which we are both nearing orgasm. That is also intensely passionate and to reach orgasm at the same time is amazing. Or to watch a girl have a truly earth shattering internal clitoral orgasm (what some will call g-spot O) is almost as satisfying in my mind. You don't fake that one

[Oralist]

OK, so the Female part of the Genital Massage is in Island Gent's DATY Thread. In this Thread, several Guys say they like some HJ with their BJ. So, here you go. Ladies, this improves upon the standard HJ.

[ck1942]

Dang!

or

Dong!

Many differing aspects outlined above and thanks to all participating.

imo, totally nothing improves on a total 69 in which both parties manage to O! virtually simultaneously.

I will say that for the most part my preference ^^^ is with me on my back, her knees straddling my shoulders and my hands (hers, too) available to assist in all the activities. Reverse of that is pretty good, too!

As for "tastes" those of the female usually vary from the really sweet, almost honey-like, to somewhat sour at times and everything in between. I have been told my almost daily diet of sweet fruits (ripe bananas, pineapple, apple, blueberries, strawberries, honeydew, canteloupe, semi-sweet apples (honeycrisp, pink lady) usually deliver decent tasting semen.

And, since I regularly engage in tantric yoga, my multiple karezza orgasms carry less volume but a lot of pleasure (on my end). Since both parties to an engagement can karezz/kegel -- when done properly the Os last tens of minutes, too.

Hint: constant pressure at the base of the penis usually helps make a stiffy last and last!

[DallasRain]

Hell yeahh Oralist
My motto
Make love to it like its your last meal!!!
Lots of tongue action..warm oil...hands and hands free at times...deepthroating...savor the boys too!!

[Oralist]

For anyone that's interested, this comes from a book called Erotic Massage- The Touch Of Love. The entire massage takes 1- 1/2 hrs., excluding any sexual activities besides what I've printed.