Ads that say "No AA" And this African American mans Experience as a New Hobbyist

[Ebony Jasmine Love]

Oh I know snarky when I see it.
I will out-snark a snarky mofo anytime.
I’m not above the snark.

But yeah... good talk.

^^ Great reply my lovely! Thank you for the intelligent thoughtful response. And most of all for not seeing it as some snarky attack. I'd never do that. I have to applaud you for that b/c so many people can't do what you just did (like really).

The main reason for quoting you was simply that I wanted to display specific points which your quote nicely provided (and reminded me of).

Yep, people have to respect other people's boundaries. You're right too about the racist thing where girls will say they see men of a particular race but then say hateful or racist things behind their back. Unfortunately I think that's par for the course in this mixed up world and isn't exclusive to the hobby (sadly)

Great reply!

-mg

[CheyenneRyder22]

Dallas Rain - couldn't have said it better myself!
some AA "gentlemen" are in fact not gentleman at all.
Just because women have a no AA policy does not mean that they are racist despite what that man "vibes" is saying.
Idgaf about race. Its all about how you approach me. Whether you're purple, blue, red, pink, etc. If I get a pm and it says "say lil mama wassup wit you I wanna pound that p**** how much for 10mins"
You think I'm going to respond? Hell no.
Now some girls are racist and that's just that. I cant speak for those "women".
Saying "all ladies that have a no aa policy are racist" is just like saying "I have a no aa policy because all of yall are thugs".
Not all white people are racist and not all AA are thugs.
We all know racism is still unfortunately present but Trying to figure out why girls have that policy is going to drive you crazy because its different for each girl I'm sure.
And I'm sorry you had to go through that awkward and hurtful first experience.
Just be the gentleman that you've been and you should be fine! :)
Xox

[Universal]

Refer the AA's to me, the more the merrier.
NO HAGGLING. The cucks can join us.

[Westley]

I disagree with mathguy's statement.

"I've said many, many times it looks so much that way (quite racist) that I would advise all women to stop posting "No AA" (or anything else for that matter) in their ads and just gather it privately. It will serve you better. You probably lose prospective clients just b/c they see the ad (whatever your "policy" is) and they think you are a bigot; whether you are or not - or they are afraid you will discriminate against their race or their features. The best marketing policy is to *not* put that in your ad."

In my opinion if a provider or admirer any restrictions (especially race) it is best to be honest and upfront and save everybody a time wasting emotional roller coaster ride. Not being upfront is more likely than not to lead to unnecessary conflict and attempts at retribution for real or imagined transgressions. Some companions and admirers may not have civilian dates outside their race or ethnicity but will gladly hobby with individuals of other races purely for economic reasons. In this instance the racism may still be there explicitly and implicitly but less visible and subsequently more acceptable some hobbyists on a prima facie basis.

Discussions on race and race relations can be heated and controversial. Adding the variable of sex is akin to throwing an accelerant on a fire then attempting to put out the fire by dousing the flames with acid. I suggest that in any case sexual selection without regard to motivation it is still a preference and constitutional right based on the premise that an individual should always have absolute control over access to their own body.

Historically, money as been a great motivator, equalizer and most excellent aphrodisiac. Especially when rent is due or mama simply wants a new pair of shoes. A better question for AA hobbyist....Why would you insist on spending time and money with someone who has made it clear beyond a doubt they did not want to see you instead of just moving on to someone who would appreciate the pleasure of your company?

Equal opportunity providers may want to consider adding their name the thread dedicated to compiling a list of AA friendly companions. Volunteers are probably going to be needed to curate the list. I'm just saying.

[mathguy]

Idgaf about race. Its all about how you approach me. Whether you're purple, blue, red, pink, etc. If I get a pm and it says "say lil mama wassup wit you I wanna pound that p**** how much for 10mins"
You think I'm going to respond? Hell no.

bwahhahahhahaha

This has nothing to do with race btw, but are you serious Chey?

I can't believe it....wow! Regardless of race or any type of colloquial wording, that's just insane to say anything along those lines! SMFH

Holy shit I can't believe some of the stuff I hear that girls bring to light (privately or through the forums). Just....wow. Omfg. Wtf is wrong with you guys that do that? Lmao.

Seriously. Why would anyone do that? Does anyone actually think any girl wants to hear some bullshit like that? Hahaha. It doesn't matter if it's regular dating or sugar babies or pay to play crap or whatever. I don't even care if you're a chauvinist misogynistic pig you must at least have enough brains to know that not even the most raging horny deviant female fuck machine likely doesn't want to hear that kind of crap. Bwahahah.

Who wants to hear that from a total stranger?? Even a dude would never respond to that positively but you are gonna take the chance that a girl exists out there who is like, "oh wow, mmmm, yummy, what a hot virile stud, yes, baby....". More likely she thinks, "wow, what a totally full of himself dip shit who probably doesn't know how to fuck or kiss for shit, treats women like objects, and is a cheap bastard, probably ugly too...". Hahaha. You couldn't possibly do anything to make the it easier for the rest of us. Like taking candy from a baby given that kinda bullshit....LMFAO. Sorry. Nothing to do with race at all but that was some seriously funny shit. I spit my drink out.

I literally started laughing out loud when I read that quote. Haha. Sheesh.

I disagree with mathguy's statement.

"I've said many, many times it looks so much that way (quite racist) that I would advise all women to stop posting "No AA" (or anything else for that matter) in their ads and just gather it privately. It will serve you better. You probably lose prospective clients just b/c they see the ad (whatever your "policy" is) and they think you are a bigot; whether you are or not - or they are afraid you will discriminate against their race or their features. The best marketing policy is to *not* put that in your ad."

In my opinion if a provider or admirer any restrictions (especially race) it is best to be honest and upfront and save everybody a time wasting emotional roller coaster ride. Not being upfront is more likely than not to lead to unnecessary conflict

Wes, I don't disagree about being upfront and open. I was just saying IMO it would better serve the girls to keep this private, don't *advertise* it, but collect that through speaking to the client, or whatever data she gathers in screening, etc....

I'm not saying they should be deceptive. I meant to keep that particular preference, any controversial preference, private from the publics viewing eye.

I can't see a downside. They are being completely honest. They get this information in their screening process. Why should they have to display their preferences? It only hurts their image. If they are fine with that then whatever but I was offering my advice that they would likely do better economically & alienate less people.

Should we all need to post if we are heterosexual or homosexual or bisexual or if we prefer black, latina, caucasian, asian, girls? Do I need to know if a girl likes tall men or short men? Does she need to know if I prefer tall or short girls? Big or small girls? Super fit girls? Young men, middle aged men, old men? Young or older girls? And so on?

All of us, men and women, only need to advertise what any of us feel comfortable posting to the public. Some hobbyists will even post lengthy summaries of what they enjoy or don't enjoy, body types, etc.... I think it's more "dangerous" from a marketing perspective for providers bc they are the ones selling something. And by advertising a large range of preferences they are already limiting their income potential. In the case of controversial topics like racial preference, particular on the sellers side (the girl), it can look extremely bigoted and might alienate other customers who got their criteria but have been turned off by their perceived "flawed" personality.

Going back to the example of hobbyists who post lengthy details about what they like, you will notice most include what they like. Not what they dislike. There is a HUGE difference. One is inclusive. The other one is exclusive. When you say, "I like blah blah blah", you are being inclusive. You are not excluding anyone or anything (not openly). When you say, "I don't like blah blah blah", you are being exclusive. This is a dangerous place to be from a marketing perspective. IJS.

But, yes, always be honest. I'm only saying don't put everything out in the open for the masses. Especially controversial topics. Just do it privately. You get better business and you spare feelings as well. You also avoid hate that way (not the other way around). I respect your opinion though Wes

-mg

[Smiley28txaspd]

Unfortunately I have gone through earlier this week, and I'm happy the topic has been brought up again. In my case I wasn't told that she has a NO AA policy, or as she put it when I got to the door "Colored" people. I've been around the hobby along time, and I guess I fall in the category of an educated professional who respects every womans preference. Its her body so its her rules. If your screening some one and an all you say is no BB and no Greek, spoken on the phone with them, contacted their references. It's an eye opener to get greeted at the door and called colored...

Set your preferences and avoid these encounters, that way there is no reason to discuss this issue of showing up and everyone being surprised.

[mathguy]

Unfortunately I have gone through earlier this week, and I'm happy the topic has been brought up again. In my case I wasn't told that she has a NO AA policy, or as she put it when I got to the door "Colored" people. I've been around the hobby along time, and I guess I fall in the category of an educated professional who respects every womans preference. Its her body so its her rules. If your screening some one and an all you say is no BB and no Greek, spoken on the phone with them, contacted their references. It's an eye opener to get greeted at the door and called colored...

Set your preferences and avoid these encounters, that way there is no reason to discuss this issue of showing up and everyone being surprised.

Sorry for that experience bro. Yes, you mention an edge case scenario. One in which you only spoke on the phone and she didn't gather enough data. You obviously must not "sound black" (let's be objective here people, not babies, that's not a racist statement). As you said you are a professional? Maybe you don't have the typical accent of a black man. No that doesn't mean you don't speak ebonics. Many, many don't. Many many many. But many black people still don't sound like white people. Just like many Hispanic people don't. Or many other races. Depending on where they grew and what language they spoke. No that also doesn't mean you have to sound like the completely stupid ass stereotypical white guy joke that black comedians do. Some black guys have extremely high pitched voices. Some white guys or Hispanic guys have very deep voices. MANY do. I do. Not like huge deep but manly. There is a certain pitch and twang on the trail end of words in black culture (usually). Very much like you would pick up on any accent.

But because of the above there are times a black guy won't be recognized by using only the phone. If you sound like Bryant Gumble or Barak Obama no one would ever know.
This is why a girl should really ask for screening questions if she doesn't already know you and she has preferences. She doesn't have to even say why.

For example, the girl collects: Age, height, weight, race, profession, tattoos?, brief description of yourself.

She doesn't have to get back to you, or she can simply say you didn't meet her screening guidelines, or that she doesn't have any time right now, or whatever. Anything.. She doesn't have to say exactly why. That's a huge list with lots of details. It could be any of those items.

Trust me there are girls who don't post this preference in their ads, they don't typically like black guys (typically), or sometimes other races too, but they will still see them. Sometimes it's because things were great on the phone or they saw a picture and they were attracted or they really like the sound of your voice, etc etc....

I know girls like this. Friends of mine. Actual friends of mine (no I don't mean friends like a friend on this site or a fake FB friend).

-mg

[Westley]

"I'm not saying they should be deceptive. I meant to keep that particular preference, any controversial preference, private from the publics viewing eye."

Again, I disagree with mathguy. Also I am curious as to what a black guy should sound like? I'm sure almost every one at one time or another has heard a song and created a snapshot of racial identity only to be surprised when seeing the singer on TV or in person. Sexual selection in most cases is more about individual preferences and exclusivity rather than inclusivity even within the hobby community. If one is going to spent money or provide a service making perferences and desires known upfront remains the best way to align service providers with suitable clients. Hobby activities are often compartmentalized and hidden from the public and other hobbyist for a variety of reasons. The principal reason usually being safety and the flexibility that anonymity brings. However, that does not appear to be what you are advocating in this instance. I suggest your recommendation is highly probable to have undesirable outcomes and consequences. A lie of omission is still a lie, an inaccurate statement, unnecessary in this instance and a stealthly way to deceive. I would consider practitioners of the hobby members of a counter-culture and the hobby community separate from the general public. Hence, from my vantage point that is exactly what YOU are saying.....Be Deceptive! One could debate that even sex workers and hobbyists need a generally accepted code of conduct and ethics.

[Lainey Love]

Wow!!!!! So sorry for your experience! EVERYONE WASNT RAISED RIGHT!

As an AA VERIFIED COMPANION we deal with similar issues just because we are black. For example, a white girl, because she is white, will get paid 3xs the amount a black woman will get paid. It's just this industry. It happens in strip clubs it happens in more places and more often than not. I COULD RAISE MY RATES GIVEN because I offer an EXCEPTIONAL Experience and those of ALL RACES that have seen me would agree, but I'm about BUILDING A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP W/ MY CLIENTS. NOT MILKING THEM FOR ALL THEY HAVE DURING ONE SESSION vs seeing that client once a week for a reasonable amount for quite some time (REGULARLY). With that being said, IT WAS THAT PROVIDERS LOSS AND GOD DONT LIKE UGLY AND AINT TO FOND OF PRETTY. KEEP ENJOYING THE HOBBY THERE ARE lots of good hearted verified companion of all races here that I'm sure will see you. My DOOR IS OPEN TO ALL .. MY ONLY REQUIREMENT IS THAT YOU LEAVE FEELING BETTER THAN WHEN YOU WALKED THROUGH MY DOOR AND WITH A SMILE !!! That's why I do what I do and enjoy doing what I do. Xoxoxox

[mathguy]

^^ Very nice LL Great positive attitude and really sweet compassionate message; particularly at the end about your clients being happier than they were before coming in and how you enjoy what you do

[Lainey Love]

Thanks so much! It's just how I am and how it should be��!!! Have an Uber wonderful night honey! @mathguy

[3daygetaway]

Mathguy,
Sometimes less is more.

We all know you meant well, but you have managed to evoke almost every racial epithet in your attempt to show solidarity and empathy. It comes across as gratuitous, and “the lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

I feel you crossed the line a bit in this conversation and showed us some of your own biases. For example: Your comments about black accents and professional communicators, such as television commentators or presidents was a horrible thing to write and betrayed the intelligence you obviously possess and wish to convey.

I agree with you 90% of the time, but that other ten kills me—mostly when you beat a topic to death, resurrect it, nurse it back to health, only to waterboard it a while, then electrocute it, light it on fire, smother it, and at the moment of impending death, inject a shot of adrenaline into its heart before scolding it for not dying already.

I don’t mean any disrespect, and don’t want anyone to add to the redressing, but I think you will find more pleasant conversations here by occasionally giving a little less.

[Universal]

Mathguy,
Sometimes less is more

I agree with you 90% of the time, but that other ten kills me—mostly when you beat a topic to death, resurrect it, nurse it back to health, only to waterboard it a while, then electrocute it, light it on fire, smother it, and at the moment of impending death, inject a shot of adrenaline into its heart before scolding it for not dying already.

You have a way with words and
I AM INTRIGUED
Got me excited

[mathguy]

Mathguy,
Sometimes less is more.

We all know you meant well, but you have managed to evoke almost every racial epithet in your attempt to show solidarity and empathy. It comes across as gratuitous, and “the lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

I feel you crossed the line a bit in this conversation and showed us some of your own biases. For example: Your comments about black accents and professional communicators, such as television commentators or presidents was a horrible thing to write and betrayed the intelligence you obviously possess and wish to convey.

I agree with you 90% of the time, but that other ten kills me—mostly when you beat a topic to death, resurrect it, nurse it back to health, only to waterboard it a while, then electrocute it, light it on fire, smother it, and at the moment of impending death, inject a shot of adrenaline into its heart before scolding it for not dying already.

I don’t mean any disrespect, and don’t want anyone to add to the redressing, but I think you will find more pleasant conversations here by occasionally giving a little less.

Wow, I didn't expect this from you 3day. Not b/c you were unkind or displayed vitriol toward me. Though that 10% thing went overboard man. That part was intentionally hurtful by design and that's a shame b/c I have never known you to be that way. I'm not quite sure how to digest this or "how" I offended you in such a profound way. Really. I'm terribly sorry if I did. I kept it going b/c people were replying. For awhile it was primarily myself and Westley. We replied back and forth quite a bit. I agreed on certain things but some I felt strongly about and others I disagreed. Other people jumped in too as the thread progressed and the conversation continued. If people are posting and engaging and it's not hostile then I will continue. Your post, ironically, is one of the most hostile posts thus far toward another person here. I'm terribly sorry if you are upset, but you should be ashamed for posting what you did and what you said to me.

I get it that you obviously have strong feelings about this and you are sensitive about racial topics (I'm assuming from this language and the prior posts in this thread). I'm very curious now if you yourself are a black man? Is that how I offended you? I'm still very much at a loss even if you are a black man. I don't understand what I said that could be taking as so insulting. Other than if you simply disagree vehemently, are very sensitive to this topic, and you do not want to discuss it? That's the only possible thing I can think of - honestly.

I'm not one bit racist. Not one itty bitty iota. Biased? Well, shit man, I'd be the biggest fucking hypocrite in the world if I said I wasn't biased to certain things. So would you, so would everyone on this board, and the entire world. We all have biases in our lives.

And to be perfectly absolutely clear my comment about the TV personality or our former president (just two that popped into my head as examples) has nothing to do with racism. NOTHING. It was an objective view at the fact that those men have a particular speaking style that over the phone you would not be able to deduce whether they were white, hispanic, or black. I'm not trying to be a jerk to anyone. I was being objective. Not biased. And certainly no fucking way in hell racist by any stretch of the imagination. I was talking about reality.

If you called up a florist to ask for flowers and they answered and said, "Heh-r-o? May help you? We ha- su-m veh-wy ni-e fr-ow-ers cu-m ee-n too-day! It you r-ucky day my f-win!", would you suspect they were possibly Chinese, Korean, or some sort of Asian descent and likely spoke another first language? You probably would. Let's not lie and pretend like it's racist to say that. It's not. It's not biased either. It's just a fact.

Now, if you choose to make fun of them b/c of that, or think they are not smart, or they're beneath you, or whatever other "bias" or discriminatory action you may take, yea, that's pretty fucked up and close to racist (certainly it's at least prejudice). But to just acknowledge that you would know pretty easy that they were of Asian descent in that scenario is not biased and is definitely not racist just on its face. No way.

So what does that have to with black voices you say? Black Americans speak English, so WTF?! Exactly. It has nothing to do with it quite honestly. You are right. I only used it for the purpose of showing that describing or presenting objective information is not in and of itself a biased, racist, prejudicial thing. It's not even making a mockery of them. Not one bit. It's none of those things. It's just an objective fact about what you would assume on the other end of the phone as long as you aren't making any other prejudicial ideas about them b/c of the way they speak.

The person I was apologizing to for his bad experience even explained and described in himself in this manner. He himself used that language. Language that suggested he was mistaken for white. How the hell else was this guy mistaken for white if she collected no information, only spoke on the phone, and she only sees white guys. Look, I don't fucking like it man. They should see anyone they are attracted to. Maybe some girls aren't to black guys. I don't fucking know But how the hell did this damn girl expect he was not black if it had nothing at all to do with their phone conversation?? The guy I was posting for even more or less said the same goddamn thing!

Remember how I said I know girls who have had this exact thing happen? They are not racist either. They just are not typically attracted to certain races (just depends on the person and the race). And this phone thing happens. Not often. But it happens. Jesus. I have anecdotal real world experience with a friend in this business and it's also commonly known and it's objective information. My ex-wife hated hispanic men for a long ass time b/c she was gang raped by a group of 5 hispanic guys. She has also dated a couple since that event. So who the fuck knows why a girl wants what she wants? But THAT isn't racism and what I said isn't racism either. And it's not fucking biased either.

I wasn't displaying any bias. No fucking way in hell was I displaying any racism toward him or anyone. And you are saying I have offended you because of a remark about the fact that some black men speak like white or latino men? How exactly is that "horrible"? I truly don't get what you are talking about unless you are just terribly terribly sensitive to this topic. I apologize if it offended you. I apologize if you are black. I still don't get it but I apologize.

If you are not a black though I find your post to be infinitely more distasteful that anything I could have written in this entire thread. Because *if* you aren't you are essentially being a white (or hispanic or whatever) apologist for black people when there is absolutely nothing that you need to be defensive about "for them" with regard to my arguments. I didn't say anything disrespectful. I didn't say anything about whose voice I like. What is acceptable. What is not. None of that. I just said that if you were so and so person (such as Barack Obama) you would never know from just speaking to him on the phone. Just like Michelle Obama. You would have absolutely never know, if you knew no better already. That's racist to say that??? But if it was Nicki Minaj you would. And conversely if some Australian girl, whiter than fucking cocaine, Iggy Azalea, got on the phone and spoke with her rap voice you might even mistake her for Nicki Minaj and think she were black. I mean come on I don't get it. I don't get what I said so terribly wrong.

I mean shit. By this logic we can't even have ANY of this conversation b/c if anyone utters the objective fact that some people are white as fuck, others are brown, others are black, etc.... then we have all of the sudden done a "horrible" thing and shown a terrible bias or racism. Because we acknowledge that people have different colored skin? Jesus Christ. I acknowledged that people have different voices. How is that any different? Oh and the color thing can be all over the place too. I'm fairly light as a "white" person, typical/average I guess you'd say. Probably from my moms side. My dad is dark AF like an american indian, particularly if he goes out in the sun (much darker then - nearly black). He isn't, nor does have any ancestry like that, he just has a very heavy melanin gene that runs in a particular group of the Germanic tribes that were extremely dark skinned (the dark skinned Germanic tribes). It runs in his family. Extremely dark. Some Hispanic people are super light, much lighter than many dark "white" people, and there are all kinds of "black" too. Most Hispanic men, even the darkest ones I've seen with their best tan are nowhere close to the skin tone of my father. I mean. Sigh. I don't get it. I don't give one fuck about peoples skin color or race. All I said is that sometimes you can't tell on the phone b/c of the differences in tones, accents, etc... That's crossing the line?? How?? I'm serious. How?

And this was why I promoted the idea that none of the girls put these things in their ads. I was trying to promote an idea that would help the community and the girls b/c the racist talk is a fucking stupid ass topic. It's NOT racism. I simply cannot understand that I have offended you by describing the tone of voices. I'm baffled. And if you are *not* black..... you should be ashamed. I still don't get it even if you are a black man but if you are not that is the epitome of white apologism.

Look, I apologize if you are truly offended. But I'm also pretty upset and dumbfounded at this response. If you disagree with me that's fine. Totally fine. Think what you want. I know you agree with many things I say. I do you as well. But this? This response? This is what was too far my friend. I mean thanks for saying no disrespect but basically you shit on me before you said it. What really gets me is that you are saying I'm biased and racist (more or less).... right out in the open. Considering the fact that I'm the furthest fucking thing from that it really pisses me off. Sorry, but it does. Nothing I said was hurtful to anyone. But you did try to attack me. I have refrained from doing the same other than uttering some minor curse words which just so my emphatic disbelief. I never would have expected this in a million years from you. Never. I'm in disbelief and I'm ashamed that you would sink to this level when I did nothing wrong at all. I haven't really thrown so much as one insult at you even after you essentially throw me under the bus in public for no reason at all. Trust me, I can throw some words. I'm not going to do that though. I'm sincerely hoping that you somehow read something into this which is simply not true, read it wrong, were drinking on 4th of July night and you disagree with my arguments (which is fine) but ended up making a mistake by posting this garbage..... I dunno. Wow. Wow. Can't believe it. Disbelief. Total disbelief. SMH.

-mg

[gfejunkie]

This ship is venturing into choppy waters. Time to shut it down before it gets completely off course. A subject that is as old as the hobby itself and doubtful it will ever be resolved. We can only strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday.

Everyone please have a happy holiday.