What a sex worker can teach us about human connection

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

I love this woman!

[Onei5430]

Good stuff. The power of touch is paramount with basic human survival.

WHAT IS THE POWER OF TOUCH?

• Newborns that are given nurturing touch grow faster and have more improved mental and motor skill development.
• Children raised with more physical interaction tended to be less aggressive and violent.
• Partners who cuddle have been shown to have lower stress levels and blood pressure and improved immune function.
• Elderly people who receive the soothing, affirming experience of touch have been shown to better handle the process of aging and passing with dignity.

From the moment we are born to the final days of our lives, touch acts as a central aspect of the human experience — impacting our physical, mental and emotional health, and quite literally shaping the way we go through our lives.

[Source:https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-mea...wer-of-touch/]

I remember years ago when my son was born. He was a preemie, two months early. One of the first things the nurse told me was "Touch him! He needs to feel your touch! [NICU] babies that are touched have a ??% better rate of survival (I don't remember the percentage but just the fact that touch impacted survival was paramount to me as a new father.) As well, I remember a time when someone I loved very deeply passed away. I didn't have anyone to go to. I've never felt so lonely in all my life. That night at about 2:00am I found myself in the arms of a provider, someone I had connected with earlier. It wasn't about the sex, it was about the connection. I'll never forget how tender she was toward me. For the first time in my adult life I wept in the arms of woman, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. It was also the most intense sex I had ever had with a provider, and not because of the sex, but because of the connection. Boys are raise with a "Big boys don't cry" mentality when in reality big boys do cry. Since I lost my loved one I find the tears flow much more freely than before, and I'm okay with that.

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

Thank you for your story, Onei.

[Groovy Johnson]

Thanks for the posts,guys.

[mathguy]

Wow.......wow. That was the motherfucking most amazing woman I've seen or heard in a long damn time. Holy shit. Where do they make women like her? Damn good speech! OMG.

So many great points and comments. I've also talked about that 5.4 minute statistic she used. She uses it to make some really interesting observations. Watch this video in full people. Men and women both.

What an extremely compassionate woman who makes a tremendous number of excellent analyses while at the same time not hiding behind the fact that it's also just her job. Bravo. It could not be said better by anyone. Period. Blown away by her graceful and articulate style of speaking.

Her cadence, tonality, and her extremely polished, somewhat soft, but evocative, and eloquent speaking style on the human condition and connection is brilliant. And she's pretty sexy too.

Nice find Loving! Everyone should watch the entire piece.

-MG

[Universal]

I love this woman!

I love U 2 James

[Guest 121219-1]

She is part of my tribe. Love the fact that she is not: 1) a teenager (meaning she's likely trafficked); 2) a ditz; 3) a user of men (the worst kind of woman).

I joined this hobby at 41, usually at an age when women are exiting. I yearned for a man's touch, but found the traditional "FWB" route to be sterile, disconnected and lacking in intimacy. And after entering the hobby, in the instance of 50% of clientele, the same rang true. I would not see a man a second time if he treated me like a knothole. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I hated a guy to just "wham bam, thank you, ma'am." I guess it's what they'd become accustomed to.

But as I settled into my niche, it all fell together. My hobby hobbies and I "fall in love" for our time together, and we don't really care if that "crosses boundaries" or is "too much, too soon" or whatever the cliches might be. We love that feeling of closeness, privacy, confidentiality and togetherness we have. And we know that when the door closes as he leaves, we'll turn it off until the next time. We HAVE to because that's the way this hobby works.

The sex part is always incredible because I'm a pervert and no one gets off the hook! But the cuddling, whispering, hand holding, leg tangling, spooning and secret sharing is always the best way to end a date.

Unless it's a MSOG day. Those are pretty sweet, too!

Thanks for sharing, James. She nailed it. Every man should have a provider like her at least once in their life. If they're smart, they keep her.

[knottyman]

when im acting an ass
most ladies say "youre such a knothole"

[MarkWatney]

That's a great TED talk. Maybe not the best oration I've ever seen, but she comes off as very smart, confident, and empathetic. I've especially got to admire her for standing in front of all those people and saying, I'm a sex worker, and here's why that's a good thing.

She is basically every decent, conscientious sex worker that I've ever met, and there have been a lot. What really makes her stand out from the crowd is the way she puts herself and her calling into perspective for all the world to see. That's very admirable, to have that kind of strength in her convictions.

Exactly the kind of gal that I like to meet, except of course that I prefer to fly under the radar. I believe every word she says, but I just don't have the courage to be that open and up-front about it. I'm kind of a private person, and I like keeping private things private.

Helluva woman though. Thanks for sharing, Lovinglifeinaustin.

[Westley]

Thank you for sharing James. This lady said most eloquently what I have been thinking for many years. She presented her case well but one can debate how representative she is of the average sex workers demographic in this country. On the other hand, I predict advocacy for sexual health will provide the best trajectory toward decriminalization. American sex workers in my opinion should be recognized as a protected class of workers because professional sex work requires a wide range of technical skills and business competencies. In this way sex workers and their clients can be effectively regulated and receive protections in law. A medical pathway to decriminization is probable to greatly reduce explicit discrimination as well as privacy and taxation issues. However, implicit bias and implicit associations leveraged by societal institutions will probably remain persistent in the same manner as racial and gender inequality. Last if all, if you think about it, sex workers and law enforcement share some mutually beneficial training objectives. For example, both need to learn how to build bonds of trust with clients and the communities they serve, discover and develop counter-measures to their implicit biases and associations, be capable of deescalating violatile situtions and deal ethically with the public and each other. Food for thought.

[KellyDarlin]

For me, being a part of this community, was, at first, a means to an end. But from the very first person til now, I knew that I needed the connection as much as any one of the wonderful men I have seen. My greatest pleasure, the thing that makes me proud of who I am and what I do is that I get the opportunity to help another human being feel better, not just sexually, but hopefully a little more positive, relaxed, accepted, needed, approved and always adored while in my company. I have a true affection for all Ive seen and a appreciation of the hard work and effort that it takes to see me or anyone, but I will be forever grateful for the joy, kindness and healing each of you have brought and continue to bring to my life.
Thanks you guys

[Mongo1971]

Ha! My YT recommended this to me and I have seen it. She really had some great points and insights into male psyche. I think much of what she stated, most of us around here know already. And I suspect most of us here were happy to see that kind of discussion on a mainstream platform, hoping that message makes it through to some of dead-brained general population. (long shot I know)

However...…..I'm sure I'm not the only one who tried to find out who she was as where she's based! C'mon!!! Just me??? That is 1 HOT Woman who understands what makes a session is genuine connection and compassion. Wonder where she's based....hmmm.

[Eva69]

Hell ya