Someone said my butt weighs 2 tons! Not true!

It's only 1 ton now because I lost a ton of weight! Literally!

And I only facesit with the intent to crush a man's skull if I think he is a blight to humanity. But sometimes I fuck up, and he's still walking around. Sorry about that, ladies. I try!

All the men I adore get the nice version, which is pretty sweet. At least that's what they keep telling me...over and over again...

Now, me and my 1-ton butt will be here, in case you're in the mood to lick it, stick it, kiss it or miss it!