An Apology, Explanation, and Thank You
*Swivels Around in Nick Fury-Esque Council-Leader Style Chair*
*Strokes a Somehow Obviously Villainous Fluffy White Cat*
*Is Attempting to Start this Semi Serious (being serious is bad for my already atrocious RBF) and Completely Sincere Post with Humor we'll see how that goes*
"Good afternoon, and thank you for your correspondence. -"
"You're probably wondering why I've gathered you all here today-"
"The Earth is in danger, This be Agent Coulson, I'm putting together a team - Gonna take like a fourth of the movie to recruit them - You know this trope don't make me finish it - "
"In conclusion: very high budget movie, little to no character development, Loki will probably at least try to betray Thor, a lot of nods to modern pop culture because Marvel, expecting to break records because Robert Downey Jr., etc."
But Seriously:
It's been on the edge of my mind how unreliable/disappointing I've been as a provider as of late constantly. I wanted to offer an explanation, apologies, and an incredibly big thank-you to anyone/everyone who's attempted to contact me, whether or not they're still interested, hate my guts, etc.
It was my 22nd birthday on the 12th of this month ("Squishy Fishy" is my personal nickname for those of us that claim Pisces as their zodiac, btw.) Don't wanna get even more personal/unprofessional than this probably already is, but the light details are that birthdays have always been A Deal Most Big and Serious in my family. Said family and I have had ah. . . strained communications, as of recently. I tried not to work at all on the 12th, and didn't log into anything with actual intent to network/organize things most of the day while I got to spend some time visiting with them. It was a mistake not to update my "About Me" or at least something to reflect that information. And I am sorry for that mistake.
Bringing us to the second and more broad and crippling point: I'm new at this. Like uncomfortably new. Rest assured, I'm happy with my choice of new practice - I've had more than enough ah. Helpful suggestions advising me otherwise from people who's opinions I really do value to reasonably quit (not to mention a few moments that were frightening. And not in the fun "so turned on it's scary" way. You catch my drift?)
I'd like to think I'm a quick study, and sometimes my ability to effectively utilize a broad and ostentatious personal vocabulary (that was totally a purposeful example right there - albeit a rather cheap and kind of douche-y one) leads those with more knowledge and experience to assume I know what I'm doing more than I actually do. Then I get scared of actually looking uninformed or like a "noob".
So this is me swallowing my pride and admitting that I'm really unorganized right now, and learning new stuff all the time, and getting lost in research for longer than I should, and my anxiety sometimes kicks my ass up and down replying to a message, and all that embarrassing rot. For that, I can only ask for more saintly patience - promise that I'm going to set an actual schedule and start replying to inquiries as soon as I post this, and humbly request that anyone who has a time saving tip, helpful advice or anything like that they'd wanna share? I'm so down to grasshopper it up, sensei - come rant at me. Please.
The third and final and most mistake-y point: Yes, I did have an adultsearch ad - no, I did not know how very sketchy that platform was when I made it, I tried to research and pick the best platform from the beginning, and unfortunately concluded that if a platform required a posting fee it meant it was far more verifiable/safe/official than one that didn't charge. Another mistake born from sheer inexperience (this was the first post/advertising I ever made.)
Yes, I have taken it down/removed both the ad, my profile, and overarching account on that platform, and yes it is sketchy, it has omgyes it did account for the aforementioned scary/sketchy moments I've had so far.
I understand if this makes potential clients uninterested in contacting me. Cost of silly mistakes/shallow research. Everyone in this forum has been incredibly respectful, serious, helpful and professional so far - it's so admirable and comforting to see. I really, really hope I haven't irrevocably screwed up my standing here, and am putting my full-time focus, energy and effort into exclusively OH2.net effective immediately from this post date/time.
I wanna do this right (because "doing it wrong" is kinda the complete wrong point, yeah?) and, joking aside: because I really do feel I've finally found a profession that accepts and even supports my unique/nontraditional views regarding connection, intimacy, sexuality, fun and love - all of which are deeply important things to me personally.
Again, thank you, for everything - and an extra amazing shout-out to a friend on here who's given me really helpful advice and effort. He knows who he be.