Quote Originally Posted by mathguy View Post
Uhh.... '3'. Well, technically '4' but I wouldn't normally count that one as she was a stripper friend & eventually my fwb/gf.

I know you were being sarcastic to point out the ludicrousness and at the same time I'm also not saying everyone has my experiences or that those are normal expectations in the slightest sense. Not at all.

But, how many people meet their future spouse getting arrested by an officer of the opposite sex? How many people end up meeting a routine fuck buddy at a church function? How many people end up dating the person that broke into their house & got arrested? Yet they DO all happen (however infrequent); and all sorts of other unique situations.

There is nothing "wrong" with it. Nope. Is it the smart thing to open yourself up to? Uh uh

Let's be clear about something though. Lust, sex, and the desire to touch is NOT the same thing as loving or caring. Simply bc you don't pay for it doesn't mean they, or you, love each other. It just means you like fucking each other (in this case). It's usually best left at that too.

All relationships involve give & take. All of them. Our best friends are people we technically "use". We all "use" each other for *something*. That's the foundation for all relationships. Some form of give/take that is mutually beneficial. The simple fact is that women (or even men) working in this industry are here to make money to pay bills (at least in part). They are using you to pay their bills.

You goto a cell phone store to be sold a phone. You goto a car dealer to be sold a car. A realtor sells you a house. In all these cases they are using you to get their bills paid as you are the paying customer & you are using them to get something you need or desire. Sound familiar? Now, does that mean that at times you or they don't wish to do other things together, entertain the idea of a traditional date, or just become friends b/c you have common interests? Of course all those things can & do happen! That's exactly how people meet!

The point here though is this isn't a dating site. Just like a car dealer or cell phone shop or a clerk at a bookstore isn't one either. They are not there to be part of a dating game. That doesn't mean the dynamics of human relationships do not also apply. They do. They apply there and they apply here. They apply anywhere that two people can interact. Period.

I think your question is better asked like this:
"Should I entertain the idea that my fav provider could be a potential partner, or treat them as someone I could try to 'court'?".
Answer: Probably not in most cases.

The nature of this hobby is that it produces powerful hormones & neurotransmitters like oxytocin, produced by human touch, which increase our feelings of attraction & closeness. You need to learn to recognize that very much the way teens or college aged people have to learn that a breakup isn't the end of the world and that much of what they feel was built on hormones and not "real" stuff that makes a relationship solid.

However, all this being said, is it *wrong*? No. It's not wrong. It's just not at all smart to treat this like a dating service or hope that you can turn a paid tryst into a relationship by means of unrequited affection.

You probably don't even want to in most cases if you really look deeper beneath the hormones & the feel good oxytocin excitement. Really think about it.

What do they provide you? Does their intellect match yours? Are they interested in the same things? Do you like to do anything else together? Watch movies? Have similar humor? Do you have similar life goals? Or do you even know? Is it all based only on sexual trysts? I can virtually guarantee that's just oxytocin talking for you in such a case.
I can’t believe I actually made it through one of your posts from start to finish. This is the best thing I’ve read from you, MG.