I caught feelings

[randomgetdown]

Really read the ops words like really read it and you’ll understand what I’m saying, and you’ll understand the affect your Gfe has on some men. I feel for the op and I honestly respect his honesty and vulnerability, but if I was him I would really step back away from this hobby for a minute and do some self reflection. A many men have been taken to the brink of financial ruin dealing with women being this vulnerable. The lady did him a favor. She did her job, he misinterpreted it and she auto corrected it to protect herself and him. She’s the real mvp.

This right here. Thank you Elmer Fudge for this well thought out and great perspective. She is the real MVP. I felt things(maybe real, maybe not, maybe both), I got carried away, I decided to be vulnerable, take a dive, and I got hurt.

For a while it took me a bit to come to terms with being blocked, and the longer I took to actually reflect on the course of events, read perspectives, consider the advice given the more I have come to accept I was absolutely in the wrong and I have to own it.

I understand that it would be difficult to talk about emotional attachment and vulnerability to anyone while remaining firm but kind. Being blocked was the most compassionate move to make. I probably wouldn't have created this thread, exposed myself, and gotten this conversation going.(Luckily, I decided to start this thread with the intent of growth and positive change vs other destructive behavior)

I can't say it enough but thanks everyone for the empathy, kindness, and perspective/advice the amount of growth I've gained from reading and following this thread is amazing. Also the amount of response is incredible.

Regarding how I'm doing, I'm great, I'm able to take ownership of what transpired, I am adjusting, and I've become a better person all around through the experience.

Final note for anyone catching feels, breath it's a human experience, communicate honestly, understand and evaluate the situation, accept and grow/learn from it, most importantly be kind and remain positive.

[Ebony Jasmine Love]

Ok ebony love, you are an interesting person here, I don’t know how to gauge your persona, but if this inquiry is honest here it goes. When a person procures any other service, the attachment is not the same as this business. If you really think about it, this is a spiritual connection, it’s a whole different level of feelings. A great orgasm is like an out of body experience, for a moment you lose sight of reality. Sex is in my opinion the most powerful force this world has to offer. I don’t get the same euphoria buying a tv lol, as I do when I orgasm with a female. It’s ingrained in a males dna. In fact I would dare say most males chase success to gain the attention of women. It’s beautiful because women have prospered greatly, at least the smart ones, because of this phenomenon.

Now I’m not saying it’s valid that women have to be extremely careful with their dealings with men, especially in this industry but it’s a fact of life and to not acknowledge that to me isn’t smart. You get great clients like me who truly understand what’s transpiring and takes it for what it is , but that is not always the case. Everyone isn’t emotionally ready for this and like I said earlier this pandemic has exacerbated the situation. Humans are social beings,all of this social distancing and avoiding people is not healthy for us because we were not created to be like that. No man ever should harm a woman and men should protect women, but just look at the incident that happened with the lady in the military as well as other stories and you’ll see what I’m saying. It isn’t fair, but I don’t make the rules and life isn’t fair.

Really read the ops words like really read it and you’ll understand what I’m saying, and you’ll understand the affect your Gfe has on some men. I feel for the op and I honestly respect his honesty and vulnerability, but if I was him I would really step back away from this hobby for a minute and do some self reflection. A many men have been taken to the brink of financial ruin dealing with women being this vulnerable. The lady did him a favor. She did her job, he misinterpreted it and she auto corrected it to protect herself and him. She’s the real mvp

Money never keeps a woman’s affection, it only rents it so you have to be cognicent of how much time you are renting and for your own sanity stay within those parameters. But what do I know. This is simply my opinion seasoned with a lot of experience. Happy hobbling.

I don’t know how to kindly tell you, I have been a woman for a long time and I’m pretty well versed on how to avoid the dangers of delusional men. Initially I didn’t really see you requiring men to control any urges to ensure not acting violently toward women, just explaining to woman how it’s solely their responsibility to minimize their earnings in order to not invoke retaliation from hypothetical entitled careless out of control men. That’s dangerous.

My reading and understanding is perfectly fine. I agree the provider who disconnected is the real MVP. However you can’t deny it was at the expense of her income, pieces of herself she opened up about, and her feeling of safety.

A fool and his money soon departed and all that but also it’s just money, nobody forces men to spoil women, it’s not their right arm, they can make the money back. I’m not here to feel sorry for men being generous to women. Shout out to the men who genuinely get off on taking care of women and seeing woman light up from their generosity. It’s a man’s job to know how to navigate that with regards to his expectations.

Ps: you know who spoils provider’s most??? Other providers! We take each other out to expensive sushi and stake houses, we send each other flowers on birthdays, we never expect sex, and sometimes we grow apart and we don’t hold a grudge about the money we spent. We like to see others happy. It pleases us to treat each other. Can y’all even imagine?? *gasps*

[Ebony Jasmine Love]

I don’t know how to kindly* tell you, I have been a woman for a long time and I’m pretty well versed on how to avoid the dangers of delusional men. Initially I didn’t really see you requiring men to control any urges to ensure not acting violently toward women, just explaining to woman how it’s solely their responsibility to minimize their earnings in order to not invoke retaliation from hypothetical entitled careless out of control men. That’s dangerous.

My reading and understanding is perfectly fine. I agree the provider who disconnected is the real MVP. However you can’t deny it was at the expense of her income, pieces of herself she opened up about, and her feeling of safety.

A fool and his money soon departed and all that but also it’s just money, nobody forces men to spoil women, it’s not their right arm, they can make the money back. I’m not here to feel sorry for men being generous to women. Shout out to the men who genuinely get off on taking care of women and seeing woman light up from their generosity. It’s a man’s job to know how to navigate that with regards to his expectations.

Ps: you know who spoils provider’s most??? Other providers! We take each other out to expensive sushi and stake houses, we send each other flowers on birthdays, we never expect sex, and sometimes we grow apart and we don’t hold a grudge about the money we spent. We like to see others happy. It pleases us to treat each other. Can y’all even imagine?? *gasps*

*if you don’t know how to gauge I am a no-nonsense smartass sweetheart, everything I say is going to sound bitchy and you’ll have to use the words “interesting person” which in turn I never know how to gauge. Other than the mansplaining how to read men and watch my back, you’re alright imo Elmer Fudge. I still completely understand and agree with most all of what you said.

This post was supposed to be an edit not a whole other post.

[Italia DiBella]

[QUOTE=Ben Rhimene;852489]His loss for sure!


You! lol
It was you I was speaking of, Dear

[Ben Rhimene]

[QUOTE=Italia DiBella;853012]

His loss for sure!


You! lol
It was you I was speaking of, Dear

That cannot be right...you said the remaining poster was "wordy" and surely that does not describe my posts...

[mathguy]

^^^ lol
Elmer Fudge and mathguy are wordy Sweeties.

There's one more haven't seen him post much lately.

I have to admit I like their writing skills.
PS
And they always stay very respectful even when "picked and poked" by Neanderthals

Thx Italia! That's very sweet and always flattering to hear. Tyvm

[randomgetdown]

My reading and understanding is perfectly fine. I agree the provider who disconnected is the real MVP. However you can’t deny it was at the expense of her income, pieces of herself she opened up about, and her feeling of safety.

A fool and his money soon departed and all that but also it’s just money, nobody forces men to spoil women, it’s not their right arm, they can make the money back. I’m not here to feel sorry for men being generous to women. Shout out to the men who genuinely get off on taking care of women and seeing woman light up from their generosity. It’s a man’s job to know how to navigate that with regards to his expectations.

Thanks Jasmine for your continued addition to this thread. You're absolutely right that money is just money and it can be earned at anytime.

Yes, generosity should always come from a place of wanting to give without any expectations. It should be that you simply want to make the other person happy or to let the other person know you care about them. Also the note that provider A disconnected with a great deal of expense to herself. Is a great mention.

It would be selfish for me not to think and reflect about this, so I thank you for bringing that more into the conversation.


There is so much to think about with every action, and I do feel bad for the negative experiences she went through with me.

Regarding the whole being emotionally ready and being on the brink of financial ruin I don’t agree with that perspective.

As Jasmine pointed out, at no point is anyone holding a gun to my head, I am fully aware of the amount of money I was spending and the price of the gifts I was giving. I wasn’t overextending financially nor did I feel pressure to. It was something I would do because I enjoyed seeing her happy, surprised, and I enjoyed making her feel special, simply because she was special to me. I was thankful for her giving me the time of day when honestly she could book time and be with anyone.

Regarding my vulnerability expressing my feelings I feel like its being scrutinized as an extreme rather than a statement of fact.

For anyone interpreting the story as me being vulnerable with just anyone and for the sake of being vulnerable, that isn’t true. It wasn’t just the sex, or the company, or the pandemic, but there were actual traits and qualities that reflected who she was as a person, that I actually enjoyed. Again intimate details, habits, mannerisms, quirks, etc. It wasn’t just because she was anyone or simply there, I felt something for her specifically. Things as simple as I liked her laugh, or her manner of speech. I chose to be as upfront, and honest, as possible because I didn’t want the interaction to end.

What still stings a little bit for me, is accepting that I did make her uncomfortable. To the point that she didn’t feel safe enough to continue to be upfront or honest with me and that must have been painful in itself. I am sorry for causing that pain and wish I could have done it differently or that I could have made up for it.

Last note try not to read too deep into every word I posted. Again the story is missing a lot of detail(There is simply too much to write and if I did write it all it would literally be pages long), it’s missing a lot of words/actions/perspective from provider A’s side, and it was written on a forum thread with the intent of exploring emotions, vulnerability, and relationships within this world and to help me improve as an all around person. (And maybe be a good read to people experiencing the same or similar things) By no means is it a complete documentary of my story.


I put this story out as a way to reflect, think about my experiences, let go, and encourage others to confront their own feelings.

It’s funny reading all the responses telling me I need to take a step back, reflect, or move on (as if that’s not what I was trying to do when starting this thread)

Still, I do appreciate all the time everyone has put into their responses/perspectives showing that they care or that the thread resonated with them in some way. I also recognize that all these responses/perspectives are a depiction of each individuals personal experiences. Some of these include the writers personal story others don’t, some have good advice others not so much, it’s all been interesting to read and wonder about.

I am grateful for all of our interactions.

[Ben Rhimene]

It wasn’t just the sex, or the company, or the pandemic, but there were actual traits and qualities that reflected who she was as a person, that I actually enjoyed. Again intimate details, habits, mannerisms, quirks, etc. It wasn’t just because she was anyone or simply there, I felt something for her specifically. Things as simple as I liked her laugh, or her manner of speech. I chose to be as upfront, and honest, as possible because I didn’t want the interaction to end.

Hey Random. Great insight. As you can tell from the locker room, and even here in co-ed, there are plenty of guys in this for sex and nothing else. Feel free to ignore their comments as they tend to be lining up the next appointment at the cheapest price possible. Good luck to them. There are a handful of us who like the companionship of smart, interesting, and charming ladies. The sex is an important part of an appointment, but it isn't the be all, end all. It is 100% that you enjoyed her laugh, manner of speech, quirks, etc. I sumise they were genuinely her.

The disconnect is you didn't want it to end and she did, and you could not see that. Accept that final bit and you can hobby just fine. If you cannot, it is time to take up Bingo.

What still stings a little bit for me, is accepting that I did make her uncomfortable. To the point that she didn’t feel safe enough to continue to be upfront or honest with me and that must have been painful in itself. I am sorry for causing that pain and wish I could have done it differently or that I could have made up for it.

Not sure if this will sting you or take the sting away. I doubt you made her feel unsafe. Uncomfortable? Sure, because she could see the disconnect and also that you could not. Nothing you have posted comes across as unsafe. She likely used those words to snap you to attention. Blocking you, even at lost revenue, was likely done to avoid stringing this drama out. If you can learn to compartmentalize the hobby you should be able to hobby happily and w/o further emotional incident.

[truecoins]

I just feel incredibly hurt that in my attempts to be honest, vulnerable, and upfront with what I thought, felt, and wanted. That I was basically lied to, manipulated, and discarded for being too sensitive, clingy, and pushy.

In my opinion sounds like you thought she owed you something because you opened up to her. It's a red flag, and exactly why she blocked you. She lied to you because she wanted to get out of an awkward situation that could of easily turned violent. Seek help my friend. Because "seriously falling" for a working girl trying to make a living after your first encounter is not healthy.

[mathguy]

Seek help my friend. Because "seriously falling" for a working girl trying to make a living after your first encounter is not healthy.

Wow, seriously harsh

You don't need to "seek help". That's acrimonious and vitriolic for a reason I don't understand.

Your reaction (OP), if anything, is fairly normal; particularly for newbies. It's normal for both genders, it just depends on the dynamics of the encounter(s). Closeness & attachment is a very normal feeling after sex. I've explained the biochemical reasons previously. Experienced men & women both have learned to recognize this and easily mitigate and avoid the risks of giving in to it.

I'm not going to be too hypercritical, you are a member with 2 posts, but if I'm being honest this says more about your own feelings toward sex workers than it does about the OP.

It seems to indicate, "working girls" (sex workers) are not real people and certainly not deserving of someone's love or feelings. The only other conclusion is just as bad. "Working girls" are cheats and liars and will take you for all you have if you let them; you're a dumbass if you fall for one. Either one is an awful judgement.

The situation the OP described happens to men and women both, to varying degrees, and with varying results. It's not unusual or "weird" in the least bit. That's nonsense.

To the OP, no, you do not need to "seek help". The only reason anyone here should seek help with respect to the OP's post (again, man/woman) is if it's related to a form of bonafide & uncontrollable sex addiction. I don't think that's the case her though.

[randomgetdown]

In my opinion sounds like you thought she owed you something because you opened up to her. It's a red flag, and exactly why she blocked you. She lied to you because she wanted to get out of an awkward situation that could of easily turned violent. Seek help my friend. Because "seriously falling" for a working girl trying to make a living after your first encounter is not healthy.

Hey Coins, thanks for the response. You’re right, I felt like she was going to be honest/open to me and that definitely is wrong cause in retrospect she owed me absolutely nothing. Though I feel like you’re skimming too much cause it wasn’t our first encounter and there is a lot of context that is being missed, but I get what you’re saying. Pointing back to a response posted by math guy this could have happened in any situation. A point I would like to explore is, is it better to withhold your feelings and deal with them later or express them candidly and work them out then?

Hey Random. Great insight. As you can tell from the locker room, and even here in co-ed, there are plenty of guys in this for sex and nothing else. Feel free to ignore their comments as they tend to be lining up the next appointment at the cheapest price possible. Good luck to them. There are a handful of us who like the companionship of smart, interesting, and charming ladies. The sex is an important part of an appointment, but it isn't the be all, end all. It is 100% that you enjoyed her laugh, manner of speech, quirks, etc. I sumise they were genuinely her.

The disconnect is you didn't want it to end and she did, and you could not see that. Accept that final bit and you can hobby just fine. If you cannot, it is time to take up Bingo.


Not sure if this will sting you or take the sting away. I doubt you made her feel unsafe. Uncomfortable? Sure, because she could see the disconnect and also that you could not. Nothing you have posted comes across as unsafe. She likely used those words to snap you to attention. Blocking you, even at lost revenue, was likely done to avoid stringing this drama out. If you can learn to compartmentalize the hobby you should be able to hobby happily and w/o further emotional incident.

Hey Ben thanks for taking the time to respond. I really enjoyed reading this and reflecting on your advice. Especially the emboldened responses.

I guess all good things must come to an end, and I should smile cause it happened.

[truecoins]

Mathguy: I'm not trying to be an asshole but imagine how scary it could be for providers. Maybe i misread but it sounded like he was starting to fall for her after his first encounter. IDK.

Dude could get obsessed, stalk and harass her. It's happens all the time in general. He may not be capable of that, but she does not know that. And he may want to prove to her he's not, but he should just accept it and taker the L and move on. And like i said using words like being lied to and manipulated are very scary things for girls to hear who is trying to break things off gently, it's why women have to lie to guys because they could easily be crazed lunatics, they owe us nothing. It's why she blocked him bro. She rather not take that chance.

[mathguy]

Mathguy: I'm not trying to be an asshole but imagine how scary it could be for providers. Maybe i misread but it sounded like he was starting to fall for her after his first encounter. IDK.

Dude could get obsessed, stalk and harass her. It's happens all the time in general. He may not be capable of that, but she does not know that. And he may want to prove to her he's not, but he should just accept it and taker the L and move on. And like i said using words like being lied to and manipulated are very scary things for girls to hear who is trying to break things off gently, it's why women have to lie to guys because they could easily be crazed lunatics, they owe us nothing. It's why she blocked him bro. She rather not take that chance.

^ Ok, understandable. Maybe I read into your post incorrectly. I do agree about the having to he careful and dealing with dangerous people or potential lunatics b/c they are in frequent contact with many different men (potentially). I see your point now and realize you didn't quite mean it the way I'd originally interpreted.

[randomgetdown]

Great responses and back and forth. Her safety is priority #1, and I get that I was in the wrong to expect honesty/openness and that she owes me nothing.

I think that I have to clarify that when I posted "lied to and being manipulated" that was the after thought/feelings I had after the fact and that wasn't what was said in conversation. (everything was still a little bit raw so I was doing my best to process and reflect)

(In regards to my experience)
I did my best to be upfront and honest with her while letting her know that she could say anything and that it would be fine. (I know I failed in doing that because of the course of actions taken)
(what I was looking for was what would be the best way for anyone to handle this)

(also for future posters exercise more kindness it helps keep the focus on what points are being made in your response and less about turning it personal)

I've accepted I've made mistakes and I want to take ownership of them by taking steps towards growing from my experience and in no way am I trying to justify anything that I did. Additionally I hope other people can read this thread and have more perspective on what courses of actions they can take going forward. The majority of the information that you'll find and read is don't be a simp, have no feelings, this is just sex, etc. etc. but I'm looking to put other perspectives out there.

Lastly my questions outside of this are, I felt we had an open and honest connection and we knew each other fairly intimately, when feelings do occur at what point is it best to address them? some people say immediately in that you don't want them internalized, others say never because the feelings will soon go away. Also how do we bring them up in a safe manner to avoid any party getting hurt whether it is a man falling for a woman or vice versa?

Thanks for your responses and I am grateful for all of our interactions. (I know there have been some really good responses answering the questions above so if anyone has any questions, perspectives, or thoughts on emotions or catching feels within the hobby I think this may be the thread to ask them in)

-Be kind to one another

[chloevankatie]

Ok guys, hear me out on this....

I agreed with Bankshots earlier that I didn't think OP was new to this-

https://home.ourhome2.net/showthread...l=1#post849885



Something just doesn't sit right with me about OP's responses and I found it odd that he would come here fresh to the community on a campaign of open and honest dialogue and on a quest to change a community that he just became a part of, and not only that, that it would the very first post he makes to welcome himself to the community. It seemed very strange to me. I also mentioned to MathGuy there were more red flags.

I have pulled some of the things he has said, and although the quotes are not posted in order, I promise if you go back and read his responses, everything I have quoted is there in his
posts.

I could not figure out why Shinepro would say OP would get himself put on lots of DNS lists by making this thread, and then I realized, OP did not make this thread for the purpose of creating an open dialogue or creating change within a community he just became a part of. All of that is smoke and mirrors.

OP created this thread because he is obsessed with this lady and trying to circumvent the fact that she blocked him. OP is pretty slick and manipulative, despite the fact that he tried to frame her as the "manipulative" one. OP is manipulating us to participate in his thread that is really a public outcry to circumvent the fact that he has no other ways left to communicate with the object of his obsession. And not only that, by painting her publicly in a light that she used him and he is a heartbroken victim and getting us all to agree with that, he can guilt her into feeling awful by blocking him and possibly hope to force communication.

Pretty slick and IMO, obsessive and crazy.

OP is not new or fresh off the farm at all. Op has not been manipulated. OP is manipulating.

OP wrote his very first opening post in this thread on the VERY DAY she blocked him. He did not wait to give it time for the dust to settle and to let both parties have a chance to breath. As soon as she blocked him, he came here and created his campaign....the very same day. Please read this paragraph.

Finally that brings us to today, we had been planning for another overnight, I had booked a nice hotel, made reservations for a nice restaurant and was really excited to see her. The entire night was kind of a train wreck and a little bit awkward. I told her again how I felt about her and that I was honestly kind of scared that there might come a point where she would stop talking to me. She assured me that that, wouldn't happen and that she really liked me and being with me. At the end of our overnight I was incredibly sad to see her go again and proceeded to do my best to sleep it off. When I couldn't sleep I went to check on our usual channels of communication and found that she had blocked me.

OP is obsessed with his object of affection. This may be a product of the fact that OP just got out of a 15 year relationship and is looking for something to cling to, but nonetheless, he is obsessed.

In the end the entire experience for me was fulfilling physically/sexually, emotionally, and mentally. It definitely makes me think of writing a book or movie script (Would anyone watch/read it?)
(The lust, love, pain was all so addicting. I'll look back think fondly and I will smile.)

Some additional context into my life, I've actually seen providers way in the past (only 5 in total, I had one ATF who I did repeat with several times, however my relationship and experience with her was completely different. It was good but pales in comparison with the chemistry, attraction, intimacy that I felt with provider A)

That being said I know she knew how incredibly sad I was every time she would leave.

For anyone interpreting the story as me being vulnerable with just anyone and for the sake of being vulnerable, that isn’t true. It wasn’t just the sex, or the company, or the pandemic, but there were actual traits and qualities that reflected who she was as a person, that I actually enjoyed. Again intimate details, habits, mannerisms, quirks, etc. It wasn’t just because she was anyone or simply there, I felt something for her specifically. Things as simple as I liked her laugh, or her manner of speech. I chose to be as upfront, and honest, as possible because I didn’t want the interaction to end.

OP repeatedly states within this thread that he is hoping Provider A is reading this and she will contact him, so that he can circumvent the fact the she has blocked him.

Lastly to provider A, should you ever come across this thread and read this. I am incredibly sorry for how our last interaction played out and I take full ownership of my actions and though ATM I don’t fully understand why I was blocked, I won’t ever hold it against you and I understand you had your reasons and that’s enough. I hope you can accept my apology and one day we can meet again.

By being upfront, speaking honestly, and candidly I really did hope to continue some kind of on going interaction and when I was cut off it did hurt, and it was possibly with the best intentions for me, but I would have greatly appreciated being told (even through txt/msg after the fact) versus being unable to discuss or have some kind of feeling of closure. (Also I understand that her safety and well being is the most important thing and I can't take it personally no matter how vulnerable I may have felt)

I know my feelings for her won't ever change but I can change my behavior

(I do want to message her to book with her again but she blocked me on one channel so I think I'll be in search of a new ATF, unless all hell freezes over and she messages me... cause, then yeah I'm going back)

And since he hopes she is reading this, he makes his attempts to try to make her feel guilty.

The only dissatisfaction I could have done without is being blocked/ghosted this part hurt emotionally/mentally, being unable to have a sense of closure, being lied to, and not knowing if I could have improved or rectified the situation also it made me feel like garbage lol.
(but I have come to accept this and moved on, it was the safest/easiest for her emotionally and without having to deal with confrontation, and I can understand that I know I wasn't the best throughout the whole episode either)

I don't know about you guys, but if I was Provider A, I would be fucking MORTIFIED by this guy.



(and to the guys reading this, please think about how you would react if it got to the point that you had to block a lady you recently saw and she did the same?)