I hit 55 and have fought the same things, if I could be a provider that would be a nice twist, I have made many friends in my life, many of who I was able to see them to their next lives so they wouldnt be alone as well.i didn't mean to aggravate any situation..at times I feel as if I need to spend time alone as I never really have...my longest relationship,25 years and others for 10 or more...I was pulled into this hobbyist crap by accident, my curiosity surfaced from neglect, unsure about myself, going from a sexual need to no more than needing affection at times, so I get it...even when BBW or other things were not my thing, I felt I needed touch... we are going to get old, keeping our health, and happiness is surely important as well. I'm still figuring out what to do.