I learned a word that helped me a lot.

[ATX-Noob]

Limerence
Limerence means having an intense longing for another person even when they don?t fully reciprocate.
It is characterized by an intense, often immediate, romantic infatuation with another person that is accompanied by the emotional whirlwind we associate with new love.
(I'm not finding a good definition without words with negative connotations)
It's like love for a celebrity. One sided love. (infatuation and obsession come up a lot in articles but those words are inaccurate)
Addiction is a very fitting term in relation to limerence.

I'm hoping learning this term can help others like it helped me. It's also a good term for providers to understand and utilize.

Long but interesting read on the subject
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence

I didn't read this article fully but it explains the term pretty well
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/limerence

My experience:
I recently had a crippling, confusing experience. I'm an old man(52) and these kid feelings felt like inexplicable nonsense. Learning this term helped me understand what was going on in my head.
For providers, it would be good to understand and try to foster some limerence in hobbyists. (be careful ;) )

What a first post, eh? I can't believe this hasn't been posted on Oh2 previously.

Thanks for reading. I hope you got some value from this information.

[Sue Nami]

sorry this happened to your heart. I sure don't want to hurt men or lead them on. I hope you heal and find a way to enjoy the hobby without being hurt. I appreciate the word tho and it does have value in this context. This is a great first post Hun.

[baja22]

Not too unusual when first entering the hobby. Don't get stuck on just one provider if you're having trouble controlling feelings. Enjoy the variety the hobby can provide; then hopefully, your limerence will die a natural death.

[ATX-Noob]

sorry this happened to your heart. I sure don't want to hurt men or lead them on. I hope you heal and find a way to enjoy the hobby without being hurt. I appreciate the word tho and it does have value in this context. This is a great first post Hun.

Thanks, Sue. I'm learning and healing.

Not too unusual when first entering the hobby. Don't get stuck on just one provider if you're having trouble controlling feelings. Enjoy the variety the hobby can provide; then hopefully, your limerence will die a natural death.

Thanks baja. Yes I'm quite new. Learning and healing.

I got great comfort in getting understanding of what was going on. I'm hoping someone else can read this and find comfort.

Fwiw I have yet to meet an unkind person in this community. I'm just a headcase. ;)

[dodger]

most folk enjoy the feelings that come with infatuation. i know i do. it's fun. but like a ride at the carnival, it's fun while it lasts. it should not be made into something it is not, nor meant to be.

i enjoy the ladies/providers i've met in the hobby. i admire their warmth and generosity. i like them, and i enjoy the activities we share, which is the point. these activities can be part of a relationship but at this point, i'm not interested in a relationship. i do not want to forego all these activities completely. so, i opt for a transaction. i am in a "let's keep it simple" mode.

i like and appreciate the providers i book. i do not presume that i know them, pesonally. i don't want to and i don't think (most of them) want me to know them personally. over the decades i have had, and believe i currently have, some reasonably close relationships. but i like to think we know where the lanes are and chose to remain in those lanes. if we do that, we can enjoy ourselves ... more broadly, expansively.

For providers, it would be good to understand and try to foster some limerence in hobbyists. (be careful ;) )

i would think this is not a good or practical suggestion. i suspect that many providers, confronted by a client who was infatuated with them, would refresh them on staying in the appropriate lanes. failing that, they would tend to back away, being careful not to make any sudden moves.