PSA: please ASK the provider of you can use her as a reference

[BrigittaBanana]

TX Harley, thank you for your input, it's much appreciated and has been the only thing stated to change my POV at all

[VikkiLyn]

I for one encourage the gents to use me as a reference,you never have to ask me first.
Safety is my number one priority

Let me start this next part by stating I personally do not know the OP and am NOT saying this is why she requires permission first...
I personally dont trust a lady who requires the gent contact her first before using her as a ref because over the years the girls who do are the same ones who try to convince the gent to see her instead.
Just has been my experience over the years

[BrigittaBanana]

Thanks for the input Vikki. That concept is actually the reason I started this topic. If a person uses me as a reference and doesn't ask me, I actually won't see them again either. I'm not trying to prevent other gals from making money

Edit: in doing this, because so many girls need positive references, i assumed I was helping people not see assholes

[Sue Nami]

perhaps it might help if you think of doing it for the women's sake and NOT for the guy? I am not being snide here, trying to reframe the question so it makes sense to you.

[BrigittaBanana]

I think you might be right Sue but man, it just irks me. I'll think about it differently

[Austin Ellen]

I think the common demonator here is courtesy. It is a courtesy to give or receive a reference. However, I will say my experience had been to watch out from whom you are getting a reference. When I started in the biz I worked with a lady and she had asked me if I could take a client of hers because she had something else to do. I asked her - did you screen him? She said yea. The guy shows up and I'm like so how long did you know so and so. He said - oh I never met her - just talked on the phone. I was not a happy camper. He was just not the type of client I was interested in. So from that point on - if a gent listed so and so as a reference - I declined. Since there is no "****** better business bureau" the best thing I did was get to know some of the top notch providers here who I knew would really screen and stuck with those. It's an unregulated industry so anything that makes you feel safer - you should do it. Including saying nope - I decline your request. Now having said that - I went back and counted how many references I gave - not many. My clients didn't "****** hop" around that much. They stayed with me. I had a great time and made tons of $$$ and was able to retire. I also made some great friendships and I cherish that. Great topic Brigitta!

[vivalesviva]

Makes sense to me , B.

[SpencerTracy]

I think a good rule of thumb for a client is to not use a provider as a reference if you've only seen them once unless you know they're down to give the reference by offering or you ask in advance. I feel comfortable usually offering up one or two of my regulars without prior asking (so long as I use their public communication methods, not a private phone #). But then I usually start by letting the new provider know I'm p411 basic +25, and send a screening request there so they can see for themselves and that usually works without further references. Granted, I'm verified here plus I've been on the site for over 11 years now, so I rarely have a problem...But newbies I'm sure have it a little more challenging. I can see how getting a reference request for a guy you saw once three months ago at three in the morning can be annoying, but I also think that providers that check references should be celebrated for their diligence in keeping themselves and everyone else safe, even if it is at 3am.

[helblindi]

And now we have the very stupid idea that I warned about: a provider that CHARGES TO BE USED AS A REFRENCE -

Someone should tell her that monetizing references puts her and ever other provider in danger.

[kenbyron]

Since the topic came up: I understand both sides...but really, waiting for some gal to respond to a reference request can be a buzz kill..obviously some dont like to do it. Some do. and while I do enjoy the hobby, it has become increasingly difficult to line up..and believe it or not, sometimes the girl doesnt even show up..or is way late, and there you are sitting in a sometimes sketchy place, high and horny.. for nothing. At that point, its not too hard to blow it off, take that $$$ and go eat a nice meal and chat with a nice waitress and still have cash left over.

And then when you try to comply to all the reference BS, you get a proper ass chewing from someone who "didnt give permission to use her as reference". Now I know that there are some dudes out there you dont want to touch. And believe me, some of the gals leave alot to be desired-obviously a pimp gave her a glowing review but the reality is skank and expensive too.

So we need to remember, be nice to the guys and be nice to the girls. We need each other. If you aint gonna show, say it early. If you are sick, dont play. Etc etc. If you need a reference, then make sure you check to see if it came in. And if you want a reference, be prepared to give one too. Quid pro quo, Clarise.

[kamisearch]

I think I agree mostly with Ellen here. This is more of a matter of common courtesy/manners to which I believe the OP feels that she has not been given any. This to a point is true. But this can also be viewed by others as the OP just being selfish by not giving a reference for a variety of reasons. Imo, for everyone's safety whether they are asked or not, you should say yes or no whether you have seen someone before and if that person is "safe". This is just for everyones safety. As for diving into further details then for the extra effort, it is best to ask the provider if it is ok for them to vouch for you in case they are asked to elaborate. At the end of the day, it is up to the provider if they will respond back or not. Hobbyist should not get angry if they didn't ask and expected a vouch without asking. Just use another provider as reference. As for not seeing a hobbyist ever again in the future because they didn't ask you to be used as a reference, I think that is a bit of over reacting.

[RustyBalls]

Some providers are charging hobbyists for permission to use them as References:

https://home.ourhome2.net/showthread...!-325-261-6877

Hope this does not become a trend.