Me and my ex started getting into D/s. Me as the Dom and her the sub. I liked being in control. Giving orders/instructions. Holding her head down with my hands, legs or I used my shirt sometimes. It took some practice, but most of the time she could throat me no problem. She never got used to being throat fucked, not without gagging. I used restraints and a blindfold on her. Teasing and pleasing her with my hands, mouth, dick or toys. Being the one to decide if she can have orgasms or not. We used impact play as "punishments", paddle and flogger as well as barehanded spanking, breast slapping, choking and hair pulling. She really started embracing her inner brat. Forcing me to try and get more aggressive. Which isn't really my thing. I enjoy moments of of "pain" just as a reminder that she is my sub.
I haven't had a scene like that in almost two years. I thought about trying to find a provider for such things. But what makes that work is trust and sexual chemistry. You can click instantly and make a woman cum and squirt multiple times the very first time or you can learn each other and get to the point that you can do that. As well as boundaries.
As far as preferences I like hair down, makeup, dresses, corsets, stalkings, glasses, cotton panties. If outfits are involved I like them to allow access to breast and pussy so they can be kept on. I never saw the point in putting on a sexy outfit or lingerie just to take it off.