just had a question and/or feedback

[Mokoa]

I posted the following about this topic a while back so I will reiterate it.

https://home.ourhome2.net/showthread...l=1#post767454

Each lady has her own screening method that they are comfortable with. Once they establish that method, it is the only method they trust. Sites like P411 may be used as tools in that method but it is the method that they trust not any of the individual tools that method employs. You may have P411 OK's out the ass but that in no way guarantees you effortless screening by any lady. When engaging in a lady's screening process, the only thing that matters is that process. Being verified on other sites may or may not be relevant. It is her process that matters. Period.

You do not like that? Move on to someone else. Persisting after being informed of failing to screen and/or being told to cease contact may be interpreted as harassment or even stalking. There are very few things worse to these ladies than grown men whining like little boys because they were rejected.

Having moderated here and elsewhere for over a decade I have seen the above play out over and over again. It always ends badly.

Always.

The ladies run their business as they see fit. The hobbyists choose who they wish to see. It is not as hard as some of you are making it out to be.

[Cain512]

Seems pretty simple to me. If you're looking to see a provider and she wants references but you don't want to go through that process, move on. Give your donation to someone else. I hate the hassle myself of having to give references. I've been on this site for years. Was on the other site for years and have NO red flags reported. So if she doesn't wanna see me. I simply move on. No sleep lost.

[Austin Ellen]

Like I said - it's your choice to give information out or not. Everything carries a risk factor. Some like to take more risk than others. It's totally up to you. But let me just say this - there are nefarious providers out there who will verify a gent without seeing him - in other words - they lie. Then there are nefarious gents out there who will pay a provider to get around a reference check. But now - after September 1st - there is no way I would see anyone that I did not know without a background check. Oh I'm retired so I don't have to worry about any of this anymore! Anyway, good luck to you.

As mm1972 said, the verification process requires what a reference check would also require: two verified providers must vouch for a hobbyiest to be verified. Yet you make a rather dubious assertion that one is not like the other. The only difference I see is who is receiving the references (watch out ladies, you can’t trust those mods!) and the timing (I would ask how many of you providers who check references continue to check them every time you see the hobbyist again?)

I find your observation that providers who choose to simply see verified hobbiests are the equivalent to those who see anyone off the street to be equally dubious. Also curious is your rather twisted logic that somehow I as a hobbiest should feel safer with a provider who insists on recent references - it really tells me you are more inherently skittish about the experience we are about to have (read: less fun).

How much does all that hassle you place upon hobbyists really reduce those risks? I see a number of posts in the alert section regarding gents who had references. I also see alerts from providers who have been ripped off by hobbyists they have already seen. It seems to me that you ladies would benefit significantly more from having a more robust and honest exchange of information about your experiences with verified hobbyists on this site than you would from hassling hobbyists for individual references.

[Berry Skyes]

Like I said - it's your choice to give information out or not. Everything carries a risk factor. Some like to take more risk than others. It's totally up to you. But let me just say this - there are nefarious providers out there who will verify a gent without seeing him - in other words - they lie. Then there are nefarious gents out there who will pay a provider to get around a reference check.

Yup, and some will even intentionally give a good reference to KNOWN predators. Gotta watch your back at all times in this game.

[SpinnerBanger]

Hey y’all. Just out of curiosity. Why do some people on here get upset when I ask for recent references?
Regardless if you are verified or not..

To flip the tables here, what are ladies asking for when reaching out to our references? Is it just "have you seen 512-555-0000?" or is it more personal like "did you have a good time or bad time with 512-555-0000?"

[Champagne Brown]

To flip the tables here, what are ladies asking for when reaching out to our references? Is it just "have you seen 512-555-0000?" or is it more personal like "did you have a good time or bad time with 512-555-0000?"

Every provider is different, but mostly they just ask have you seen him, did you find him safe, and would you see him again.

[Tracker7]

to the Op's topic- I dont find it terribly hard to read or follow directions. With that said, I always provide current references. Sometimes it works out, others it does not. No harm, no foul -I move along either way. I would like to also thank the P's that take the time to respond to screening requests, as well as the P's taking the time to request them. (especially recently) As they say, teamwork makes the dream work. If we take the time to satisfy your screening, how much better of a time is to be had when we meet? Makes sense to me.