A Valentine’s Day letter to my clients’ wives
“We do not want to replace you.”
While sex workers may care for some of your husband's needs, we are not looking for a partner, or even
an affair. In fact, like you, many of us have our own relationships that we work hard to maintain.
But more importantly, what I want you to know is that your husbands also don’t want to replace you. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the majority of my interactions with my married clients are not about me, they are about you, about their love for you.
I realize that to an outsider, this may be hard to imagine or understand, so let me offer a few examples (all names have been changed):
Frank, a high-powered executive, calls on Fridays before you come home. He wants to feel a moment of surrender after a stressful week. You haven't felt like yourself since surgery and knows the tension and stress that fills your home
now that your drive and needs are no longer in sync. After we visit that 'elephant' is no longer in the
room, there are less arguments and increased quality time.
James still mourns your loss, ten years after your death. Though he tries, he can’t really date. I’m a temporary
fill-in. I know he misses being married and needs to imagine he still has that kind of connection.
Yet, what I want you to hear is that this isn’t what I see from the other side. What I see are men who are trying very hard to figure out how to negotiate their needs without hurting you, or being too demanding of your attention, or doing anything to screw up your marriage and family. What I see, in other words, is men who really love and respect you.
And, as I come to see you through their eyes, I also feel appreciation and respect for you.
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