Pain freaks and the hobby

[Anna Nikkole]

How many women like to be handled rough? How many gents like to rough play.

I'm not into pain, and I let it be well known in my messages where people ask for certain things. And in person I've had to back a couple of guys up and basically let them know that I am a human and I am not ok with being abused.

Is this the norm? You know the women getting treated like that on porn is pure fantasy and they get paid more right?

[Cabletex7]

Personally, no pain or abuse - giving or receiving. I find absolutely nothing erotic about it - in real life or porn. But not judging, whatever floats your boat as long as all participating are consenting adults.

[Ben Rhimene]

I think it mirrors the way Western society has been trending...people feel the need to stand out and thus extreme behaviors.

Not sure I agree ladies in porn get paid more. My suspicion is they get paid less and those films/scenes are a way to break into the biz. Once you've got some credentials you can turn down those scenes.

I am not into pain. A bit of rough play like grabbing hair, spanking can be hot if the lady also enjoys that type of play.

[Eightpack212]

How many gents like to rough play.

Hey Anna and Good Afternoon - honestly you are right on time with your thread.

By nature, I am laid back, respectful,and non-aggressive.

On this phonesex site, I use from time to time I have always roleplayed in the same laid back, respectful, and non-aggressive way.

But, as of late I've come across a "submissive" category featured on the website, where women posts listings to get the attention of potential customers. And in those listings they mention, what they allow/like. And when reading through them, it honestly turned me on reading that the women liked to submit themselves to a man, by allowing them to use them in any way they would like, no matter how rough. So switching roles to the dominant side in this phone sex fantasy world was/is a turn-on to roleplay with the women on there from time to time.

But stepping outside of that fantasy world, and moving back into the hobby world with providers. If I do touch a woman within the encounter, it's always in a soft-to lightly firm respectful manner. And as "rough" as I prefer to go/have gone is just a gentle- to lightly firm massage on her butt or breasts. Nothing disrespectful, damaging, or anything to leave a bruise.

But I always ask/seek approval before I begin to touch, to see what her level of comfortability is.

Is this the norm? You know the women getting treated like that on porn is pure fantasy and they get paid more right?

Is this the norm? - Funny you ask that, because I can't really recall seeing a good # of providers ads I've come across mentioning that they were into some sort of rough play. Maybe this is something that is available on their secret menu, that if someone interested should inquire about? ;) lol.

But no, in all seriousness, it would be great to know/see an increase, of providers out there who might be interested in that kind of roleplay involving submissive rough-play (depending on their comfortability on how rough they like).

Can't really describe the erotic turn-on behind it, but a roleplay *with 100% full consent involved* where I would be to be able to slap a woman's butt how I like, play with her breasts how I like, talk roughly to her as I like, and know she is turned on by it as well, and is 100% accepting/onboard with that (because she 100% consented to it on her terms) would be a encounter, I would definitely be interested in, if there was ever a provider who advertised that she was open to that kind of play, so far I haven't seen it (which is fine).

[bb1961]

BDSM is a fetish that men with that proclivity spend BIG money on...and some of these men get off on the "pain".
Hell from time to time men post on here looking to get kicked in the balls!!
That kind of shit could inflict SERIOUS damage!!

[Anna Nikkole]

I see some advertise to choke them with dt. Spank them (not mentioning how hard is a dangerous thing). And so on and on. I'm into love making and go up to dirty talk and play.

Do I like hair pulled? Yep, but you can't trust a bunch of strangers to know who will try to scalp you. So I don't advertise it because common sense isn't so common for everyone.

Do I like to be spanked? Yep, but over and over in the same spot is painful. So I don't advertise it because again, some people don't have common sense.

So ladies, who likes this? Bite me, hit me, do what you feel. Honestly if you do then I hope you get pleasured. Make it be known.

I haven't ran into many problems in person more like inbox asking me. I assure you, I'm not a pain freak!

[Ben Rhimene]

I see some advertise to choke them with dt. Spank them (not mentioning how hard is a dangerous thing). And so on and on. I'm into love making and go up to dirty talk and play.

Do I like hair pulled? Yep, but you can't trust a bunch of strangers to know who will try to scalp you. So I don't advertise it because common sense isn't so common for everyone.

Do I like to be spanked? Yep, but over and over in the same spot is painful. So I don't advertise it because again, some people don't have common sense.

Yeah, that all sounds about right...we probably match up well.

Common sense is NOT common...too many folks simply are not smart enough to know where the boundaries are...

[dynalow96]

How many women like to be handled rough? How many gents like to rough play.

I'm not into pain, and I let it be well known in my messages where people ask for certain things. And in person I've had to back a couple of guys up and basically let them know that I am a human and I am not ok with being abused.

Is this the norm? You know the women getting treated like that on porn is pure fantasy and they get paid more right?

The only pain I want is the agony of holding my cum back while being kept right at the very edge for long periods of time then if she can. Look me in the eye and tell me she's going to force it out of me now and for me to hold it with everything I have.

[Anna Nikkole]

The only pain I want is the agony of holding my cum back while being kept right at the very edge for long periods of time then if she can. Look me in the eye and tell me she's going to force it out of me now and for me to hold it with everything I have.

You are too cute!

[Anna Nikkole]

I got a pm asking if I can deepthroat this guys 8 inch cock.

So please let me know if I was wrong or right?

I don't particularly advertise DT, I advertise CW and POCT. Why? Because I may bite off more than I can chew. I'm not a DT queen as it's not my specialty.

So my response was that I only see gentlemen who simply make an appointment, without these crazy questions. So if he thought he could push my head down to get his rocks off, it wouldn't be good for his health. Yes, I let him know that I don't allow people to treat me any kind of way. And also he just wasn't my type of clientele. My type read my information, make a informed decision and make a respectable appointment.

Ladies and gentlemen do you think I took a simple request to far? Or maybe he was looking for "permission' to get 8 inches down my throat regardless of the discomfort I would have had?

And yes DT is ymmv, for factor if size. (SOMETHING I DON'T DISCUSS BEFOREHAND)

[Ben Rhimene]

I may bite off more than I can chew.

Next time just reply with that...

Makes sense to not discuss beforehand. Not only does unknown length & girth make it hard to answer ahead of time, but your mouth and muscles have good and bad days as well. This hobby and all its fun is YMMV every time...bodies, emotions, and interest levels all fluctuate, for all involved. I truly don't get the guys who expect carbon copy sessions of what they read in a review.

[Anna Nikkole]

Next time just reply with that...

Makes sense to not discuss beforehand. Not only does unknown length & girth make it hard to answer ahead of time, but your mouth and muscles have good and bad days as well. This hobby and all its fun is YMMV every time...bodies, emotions, and interest levels all fluctuate, for all involved. I truly don't get the guys who expect carbon copy sessions of what they read in a review.

You couldn't be more correct. I have regular gents who always see me happy, then something upsets my life and I am not as lively. I mean it happens. We are human too, and as a sober provider it's a bit tougher for me to play it off. So I am just me! My clients know that.

So the guy asking about DT his 8 inch cock says I took things the wrong way. Even if it wasn't about the abuse that could occur when saying yes to his demand, I really don't like answering sexual questions aka sexting. If I did it for everyone who inquired daily, I'd have 0 time for anything else in my life.

See the information I send, read it, do homework and ask here anywhere or in the mens private area.

[Olderandwiser]

Stay who you are sweetie. You are the best. Ow.

[Anna Nikkole]

Stay who you are sweetie. You are the best. Ow.

Awww thank you sweetheart!!!

[Ivy de la Courte]

The assumption should never be that rough play is okay, even for people that advertise they like it because liking rough play in general doesn't mean you like it with every person. Consent is still a necessary step. Unfortunately, a lot of guys don't understand this and will think everything is fair game, but if there's no consent first it's not bdsm play. It's seen often in porn so it's known that it's a common fetish but I know several women who do like it (like myself) are careful with what they put in ads as to not invite dangerous people because of this misunderstanding. The problem is with people wanting to practice more dangerous kinks without being educated about it first and with people making assumptions about what their partner is okay with.

I don't think there's anything wrong with liking rougher kinks or pain and I don't think it should be equated to abuse or the submissive person not being treated as a respected human. You are right that if there's no consent or boundaries that it isn't okay but that's no longer the same thing as consensual bdsm play anyway. If people are doing it without asking, you are right that that's not okay but that's true of any act, not just things involving pain. Anna, you also brought up porn and how the receiving people must get paid more and that it's just fantasy but I think that disregards that it is some people's preference and they enjoy it. Also, consent is still important in the porn industry.

There are a lot of psychological reasons people have different fetishes and enjoy different types of sex but I think it's important to remember that just because something isn't for you or you don't understand it, doesn't mean it's abusive or harmful if practiced by knowledgeable people who enjoy it. I don't see submissive men as I'm not a domme but I don't question the judgment of the people offering it or the people seeking it. I'm also very careful about who I will be submissive with for my own safety.

While I don't think entering a stranger's inbox is the best way to initiate bdsm play, I do think asking if something is okay with you is a good thing. I don't see it as offensive when someone asks about a kink I don't cater to and I think it's a lot to assume if someone is interested in rough play they are automatically trying to mistreat or abuse you. Like you, I also don't say yes to something before meeting someone as nothing is ever 100% guaranteed.

I just wanted to chime in as someone who does enjoy rougher things. That, like you, I still like being respected, seeing clients who don't ask crazy questions, do their research, and contact me politely. Those things are not connected to what fetishes I enjoy and who I will enjoy them with. Once I can establish trust with a client and see what their knowledge and interest level is, I will let them know if I feel comfortable with that kind of play but guys who expect it from anyone (me or you) are not practicing consensual sex.