How would you have expected a provider to handle a situation like this?

[Cameron]

Gentlemen, I would politely like to say a few things, if you don’t mind. I will not be naming this guy, to eliminate a shit slinging show, lol.

GUYS:I’d like your opinion on how you’d expect the girl to handle this situation.

LADIES: your input is appreciated as well.

Here goes:

Let’s call him “Fred”.. So Fred contacted me earlier and requested an appointment. I had absolutely nothing booked, it’s been a pretty calm day so I agreed to it. I told him that I did require a small deposit, and once he sent the deposit I would contact him and let him know the time. Keep in mind we had not set a time yet. I had a small emergency inside my apartment where my washer was leaking, so I immediately called emergency maintenance. While they were here he kept calling me and calling me. Texting me and calling me. I eventually put my phone on silent. But I still have it where it vibrates when it’s on silent. After the maintenance left, I checked and it was the same person. And I will just paste below what I said following the maintenance man leaving.

“ Hey I was busy with the emergency maintenance team. You kept calling and calling and calling and it was almost bothersome. I understand that we have an agreement for an appointment. But after you contacted me like that I do feel a bit uncomfortable. I also checked and I remember that you and I have had contact before. We’ve not met but we’ve had contact via text messaging and you weren’t too nice. So I will go ahead and refund your $40. Because I don’t want to be one of those providers to take advantage of ppl”...

So I had him send the refund request on Venmo and within two minutes he had his refund. He then continued to contact me a few more times. After I finished dealing with him two of my regulars called making me unavailable the rest of today, and I usually take off on Sundays. Leaving me unavailable for the next few days. When I told him that, this is what he said: “ If you didn’t want to talk to me then you shouldn’t have taken a deposit for an appointment, bottom line”..

Am I missing something here? Was I’m not polite enough? Was I not supposed to return his refund? I’m just confused on this one.

[CMR23]

This thing got way out of hand because of a communication problem. You told him that you would contact him about an appointment after receiving his deposit. He sent you the deposit and you didn't communicate to him that something had came up in your residence causing you to have to delay what time the appointment would be scheduled for. In his mind he was assuming you would contact him quite quickly after the deposit was sent therefore that lead him to blowing your line up via texts and calls.

You took his deposit and you didn't communicate what time the appointment would be booked for, you ignored his texts/calls then bring up he was rude previously and you refund his deposit. He felt his time was completely wasted and then you blame him as to why no appointment will be made which is why he was only left to assume that you didn't want to talk to him to begin with and took his deposit for no reason.


Just my own life lesson learned from experience: whenever you deal with someone and time is an issue then something happens and you don't communicate what happens the other person man/woman will assume their own reasoning. This is why when you deal with people you must have a clear level of communication therefore all parties at fault can talk the necessary responsibility to rectify the matter. Or else you have two parties playing the blame game and justifying everything is the other person's fault to remove themselves from any culpability.

[Alyssa XOXO]

^^^^THIS. He should have received an immediate reply by text regarding your "emergency" instead of ignoring him. He may have also been on a time frame and missed booking with another Provider while you were ignoring his attempts to contact you. I mean, unless you were the one fixing your machine; there's really no excuse for intentionally ignoring him.

And then you come here asking for advice, you already know the answer to your own question. Would you want the same treatment from a Client? No, Providers like to run and put guys on blast everywhere for the smallest things.

Also, I'm not sure which paste is accurate. I saw the initial post and you edited it, cleaned it up and added more in your favor. Regardless of what was really said, it's a "he said, she said".

Happy Hobbying and Happy New Year!

[Cameron]

I communicated with him at best. I couldn’t call & speak due to staff being in my place & a lot going on- I could address him as I wanted to. However I did let him know that I would send the deposit back which I did immediately. Yes I should have kept in closer contact with him but I communicated with him as often as I could while handling the situation in my home.

[Mobeezy]

All you had to do was step outside for a minute and inform him on the situation. I loathe when you send payment for something and the person goes ghosts. Who wouldn't be upset. Thats bad business.

[Cameron]

All you had to do was step outside for a minute and inform him on the situation. I loathe when you send payment for something and the person goes ghosts. Who wouldn't be upset. Thats bad business.

I love it when people think that they know everything. The deposit was returned it and only by my suggestion. When I realize the session wasn’t going to happen and that’s when I told him that I was going to return it. I told him that it would take more out of it if I were to send it so I asked him to send me a request for it so I can get his full donation bag. You guys are focusing on the negativity when I could’ve been like every other provider that does jacked up shit on here. I appreciate everyone’s input and I’ll take it to heart.

[Panda9184]

As i read this, it seem to me that you communicated then he send you a deposit. After the deposit, he hears nothing back from you since you said you didnt set a time or date after you receive the deposit. Therefore, he is still waiting and feel like his being ghosted for a deposit. Which then, you called emergency maintenance and waited for them to come to your place and still have not communicated to him about your situation. So, whatever situation you were dealing with, you had time to send at least 1 text to him informing him about your situation. Therefore, it is justify for him to blow up your phone. Everyone's time is precious if you knew about the emergency before he sent a deposit. you shouldve communicated that. if you had it after he send the deposit, he should be your second contact after you call emergency maintenance since im pretty sure they dont live with you and actually come the second you call them. At best, it will take them 10 to 15 min to get to your place which gives you plenty of time to communicate your situation with the client. So, i believe you drop the ball on this situation. If im reading it wrong then let me know, might wanna clear up that time line because thats probably why the communication is bad.

[Bowser98]

Having a maintenance person in your residence to repair a leaking washer is hardly an “emergency” or “a lot going on,” much less an excuse not to be able to communicate with “Fred” in a timely manner. I’d have expected you to either send me a text explaining the situation right then and there, or make a quick phone call. Surely there was a lag time where you were waiting on the maintenance person to show up when this text or call could have been made.

[USAsoldier]

His mistake was sending a deposit to you without knowing the session time. Personally I don't see providers who require a deposit. But that's me.

You're mistake was ignoring him when he was calling and texting you. You could've taken 20 seconds to text him back and let him know you were currently dealing with a washer emergency, and you'll contact him soon.

You did the right thing by sending him his full deposit.
This might be "Freds" last time sending deposits before a session time is set.
Lastly, perhaps you should block the phone numbers of gents, who in the past, you've had bad communications and give you bad vibes.

[mathguy]

Hello Kai. Thanks for posing the question. It also shows that you care enough to learn, get opinions, and to preserve your good reputation.

This boils down to a communication issue like a couple others have said. As much as you might not have meant to be rude or unresponsive (I do believe you b/c you come across as a sincere person ) you really have to find a way to get back to the person.

Even something like,
"So sry, Ive an emergency maintenance issue @ my apt. Contact u asap. Up to an hour or so? I got ur deposit don't worry. I really can't respond for bit but pls don't worry, Ill get back to u. If u don't have time then Ill refund or discount you. Whichever u desire. Very sry. Out of my control. Tty asap. I promise."

That would have done wonders to calm this person. You have to understand he might think you are scamming him, dropping him for something else & not going to refund him, etc... I am not saying you personally would ever do such a thing. I absolutely don't think you would dear. It's just that you need to try to see this from his point of view.

I hope I have been constructive with my comments and you don't think them insulting? Shit happens. Just make sure to convey that to whomever.

Also, good on you for refunding it and doing the right thing ultimately. Happy new year sweetheart!

[Cameron]

As i read this, it seem to me that you communicated then he send you a deposit. After the deposit, he hears nothing back from you since you said you didnt set a time or date after you receive the deposit. Therefore, he is still waiting and feel like his being ghosted for a deposit. Which then, you called emergency maintenance and waited for them to come to your place and still have not communicated to him about your situation. So, whatever situation you were dealing with, you had time to send at least 1 text to him informing him about your situation. Therefore, it is justify for him to blow up your phone. Everyone's time is precious if you knew about the emergency before he sent a deposit. you shouldve communicated that. if you had it after he send the deposit, he should be your second contact after you call emergency maintenance since im pretty sure they dont live with you and actually come the second you call them. At best, it will take them 10 to 15 min to get to your place which gives you plenty of time to communicate your situation with the client. So, i believe you drop the ball on this situation. If im reading it wrong then let me know, might wanna clear up that time line because thats probably why the communication is bad.

No, maintenance was called a couple hrs prior. I could have stepped out, but I was kind of helping him. (He was alone) I contacted the gentleman when I realized it wouldn’t happen,

[CMR23]

I don't think this will hurt your rep as a companion Kai but most people are just saying communicate better. This guy obviously really wanted to see you which is why he sent a deposit. That means he's probably sitting around waiting for you to reach out in some fashion with an update.

The main thing is give the hobbyist all the information on your end so he can decide what he wants to do with his time. We don't know what a person has scheduled (companion or hobbyist) so we should always be mindful of someone's time and communicate thoroughly. Since you took awhile to get back to him he could've seen another companion and rescheduled with you another time.

[Cameron]

This guy was extremely rude from the beginning and very aggressive. I’ve had a similar experience with him a couple of months back but it was before any deposit was sent. Extremely pushy wants his answer when he wants his answer, etc. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt this time and he started with the same stuff. You guys are telling me I should’ve communicated better with him I was only one communicating clearly. When I wouldn’t get an answer on a phone call I would text him. That’s how our communication went. As for the “emergency maintenance issue “, the staff here insisted it was emergency, not. There’s only one maintenance man for this entire building. So I guess whenever they get the orders they could just show up. There’s no specific time. I had no idea he was going to show up in. So therefore, How was I supposed to know when he came I was going to come? Trust me if I knew I wouldn’t of made the appointment. However once he got there he’s pretty much an older, teeny tiny skinny Mexican guy, that needed a little help scooting my washer and dryer out. So yes I was helping him. Which is why I did not answer my phone when he was calling. By the way as soon as I was able to contact the gentleman, like as soon as I was done with everything but they were still in the apartment finishing up packing up his tools, I told the gentleman that’s what was taking so long and I told him what was going on. When somebody says jump I don’t say how high. I’ve got something going on that’s really important I’m going to handle that first. I try to stay on a good level with all the staff here so they have no reason to bother me LOL.

[USAsoldier]

This guy was extremely rude from the beginning and very aggressive. I’ve had a similar experience with him a couple of months back but it was before any deposit was sent. Extremely pushy wants his answer when he wants his answer, etc. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt this time and he started with the same stuff

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You said the guy was extremely rude and aggressive. You also stated this was not the first time he communicated with you aggressively. So, *scratching my head*, why even bother setting up a session with a potentially dangerous person like that in the first place?

Smh......

[Ben Rhimene]

This guy was extremely rude from the beginning and very aggressive.

You guys are telling me I should’ve communicated better with him

You seem to be looking for reassurrance that you handled the situation OK. But you do not want to accept that NOBODY thinks you did.

Adding more facts and comments at this juncture are not helping you.

If he was rude and aggressive from the start why would you agree to ANY appointment? And what on earth would make you think ignoring an aggressive guy who sent a deposit and wanted to schedule that day was going to work out well?

I have no idea who was in your apartment or what was going on, but the reasons you have provided are super flimsy. It does not take 2 people more than 90 seconds to slide a washer out. You are the tenant...he works for you. You should have been able to excuse yourself for a minute to call/text the client. Unless you were planning on discussing menu options it would sound like any normal conversation. Anyone within earshot would have only heard "Hi. I had a maintenance issue in my place occur. They are working on it now, so I would not be able to meet you until after 4 today. Does that still work for you? If not I will return what you sent me."

I do not pay deposits but I know when I reach out to schedule (as opposed to pre-screening, etc.) I expect the lady and myself to be able to pretty quickly find a mutually agreeable time or realize it was not going to mesh this time around. If I had money out the door and was ignored I would assume I had just been ripped off. It was good that you promptly returned the deposit but I would say that everything up to that point was poorly handled.