Is it wrong to fall in love with your provider?

[TxHarleyGuyV]

So I’ve been having an awesome time meeting my providers but lately I have noticed my last two appointments I fell in love with them. I’m a sucker for fine ladies. I try not to but I can’t help it.

Let us know how that works out for you -

[johnnyglaze]

my advice is to train your brain to think of it like baskin robins 31 flavors to try...sure you may have your favorite flavor that you really really like, and being human thats normal. But if you get your heart mixed into it with feelings you will just set yourself up for hurting it. Dont kid yourself that just because the provider is a cool girl you can vibe with that she loves you back the same way you are feeling. If she truly did she wouldy tell you keep the money, or she would text you saying do you want to come over for no charge. If she isnt doing those things, what you found is a GREAT provider that is a master of the game making you feel extra special and giving you the sexual attention you have been wanting from a HOT girl, but this is just a way for her to make money, so take the advice others have given you.

[risn2theoccasion2]

Is it wrong to play Russian Roulette with a fully loaded pistol?

[InTheWind]

How many providers have asked you over and said don’t worry about a donation, I just want to have sex with you?

[Universal]

When a man cares about a woman in a loving relationship he gives her money regardless.....
Without her asking.
I was in college & my boyfriend gave me spending money for gas, food, clothes because HE CARED !!!! Not once did I ask for help. Relationships are about give & take.
.
Not everything is about sex.

[mathguy]

How many providers have asked you over and said don’t worry about a donation, I just want to have sex with you?

Uhh.... '3'. Well, technically '4' but I wouldn't normally count that one as she was a stripper friend & eventually my fwb/gf.

I know you were being sarcastic to point out the ludicrousness and at the same time I'm also not saying everyone has my experiences or that those are normal expectations in the slightest sense. Not at all.

But, how many people meet their future spouse getting arrested by an officer of the opposite sex? How many people end up meeting a routine fuck buddy at a church function? How many people end up dating the person that broke into their house & got arrested? Yet they DO all happen (however infrequent); and all sorts of other unique situations.

There is nothing "wrong" with it. Nope. Is it the smart thing to open yourself up to? Uh uh

Let's be clear about something though. Lust, sex, and the desire to touch is NOT the same thing as loving or caring. Simply bc you don't pay for it doesn't mean they, or you, love each other. It just means you like fucking each other (in this case). It's usually best left at that too.

All relationships involve give & take. All of them. Our best friends are people we technically "use". We all "use" each other for *something*. That's the foundation for all relationships. Some form of give/take that is mutually beneficial. The simple fact is that women (or even men) working in this industry are here to make money to pay bills (at least in part). They are using you to pay their bills.

You goto a cell phone store to be sold a phone. You goto a car dealer to be sold a car. A realtor sells you a house. In all these cases they are using you to get their bills paid as you are the paying customer & you are using them to get something you need or desire. Sound familiar? Now, does that mean that at times you or they don't wish to do other things together, entertain the idea of a traditional date, or just become friends b/c you have common interests? Of course all those things can & do happen! That's exactly how people meet!

The point here though is this isn't a dating site. Just like a car dealer or cell phone shop or a clerk at a bookstore isn't one either. They are not there to be part of a dating game. That doesn't mean the dynamics of human relationships do not also apply. They do. They apply there and they apply here. They apply anywhere that two people can interact. Period.

I think your question is better asked like this:
"Should I entertain the idea that my fav provider could be a potential partner, or treat them as someone I could try to 'court'?".
Answer: Probably not in most cases.

The nature of this hobby is that it produces powerful hormones & neurotransmitters like oxytocin, produced by human touch, which increase our feelings of attraction & closeness. You need to learn to recognize that very much the way teens or college aged people have to learn that a breakup isn't the end of the world and that much of what they feel was built on hormones and not "real" stuff that makes a relationship solid.

However, all this being said, is it *wrong*? No. It's not wrong. It's just not at all smart to treat this like a dating service or hope that you can turn a paid tryst into a relationship by means of unrequited affection.

You probably don't even want to in most cases if you really look deeper beneath the hormones & the feel good oxytocin excitement. Really think about it.

What do they provide you? Does their intellect match yours? Are they interested in the same things? Do you like to do anything else together? Watch movies? Have similar humor? Do you have similar life goals? Or do you even know? Is it all based only on sexual trysts? I can virtually guarantee that's just oxytocin talking for you in such a case.

[James6766p]

OP, maybe what’s really going on is that you’re “falling in lust”? Big difference between love and lust!

[Austin Ellen]

Every single time I go to the vet with my pomeranians - I open the door and I hear that song "back in love again." He is the nicest guy and he looks like he just stepped out of GQ magazine-- I have to stop my self from swooning. But when I leave it's over........until next time! So no, there is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone as long as you know when to stop.

[squiretuck]

Every single time I go to the vet with my pomeranians - I open the door and I hear that song "back in love again." He is the nicest guy and he looks like he just stepped out of GQ magazine-- I have to stop my self from swooning. But when I leave it's over........until next time! So no, there is nothing wrong with falling in love with someone as long as you know when to stop.

You said, it Sweetie! Every time I've fallen in love for longer than the session, it has led to nothing but heartache and severe depression on my part. But each to their own. Some people may be tougher/mentally stronger than me.

[bob malooga]

Uhh.... '3'. Well, technically '4' but I wouldn't normally count that one as she was a stripper friend & eventually my fwb/gf.

I know you were being sarcastic to point out the ludicrousness and at the same time I'm also not saying everyone has my experiences or that those are normal expectations in the slightest sense. Not at all.

But, how many people meet their future spouse getting arrested by an officer of the opposite sex? How many people end up meeting a routine fuck buddy at a church function? How many people end up dating the person that broke into their house & got arrested? Yet they DO all happen (however infrequent); and all sorts of other unique situations.

There is nothing "wrong" with it. Nope. Is it the smart thing to open yourself up to? Uh uh

Let's be clear about something though. Lust, sex, and the desire to touch is NOT the same thing as loving or caring. Simply bc you don't pay for it doesn't mean they, or you, love each other. It just means you like fucking each other (in this case). It's usually best left at that too.

All relationships involve give & take. All of them. Our best friends are people we technically "use". We all "use" each other for *something*. That's the foundation for all relationships. Some form of give/take that is mutually beneficial. The simple fact is that women (or even men) working in this industry are here to make money to pay bills (at least in part). They are using you to pay their bills.

You goto a cell phone store to be sold a phone. You goto a car dealer to be sold a car. A realtor sells you a house. In all these cases they are using you to get their bills paid as you are the paying customer & you are using them to get something you need or desire. Sound familiar? Now, does that mean that at times you or they don't wish to do other things together, entertain the idea of a traditional date, or just become friends b/c you have common interests? Of course all those things can & do happen! That's exactly how people meet!

The point here though is this isn't a dating site. Just like a car dealer or cell phone shop or a clerk at a bookstore isn't one either. They are not there to be part of a dating game. That doesn't mean the dynamics of human relationships do not also apply. They do. They apply there and they apply here. They apply anywhere that two people can interact. Period.

I think your question is better asked like this:
"Should I entertain the idea that my fav provider could be a potential partner, or treat them as someone I could try to 'court'?".
Answer: Probably not in most cases.

The nature of this hobby is that it produces powerful hormones & neurotransmitters like oxytocin, produced by human touch, which increase our feelings of attraction & closeness. You need to learn to recognize that very much the way teens or college aged people have to learn that a breakup isn't the end of the world and that much of what they feel was built on hormones and not "real" stuff that makes a relationship solid.

However, all this being said, is it *wrong*? No. It's not wrong. It's just not at all smart to treat this like a dating service or hope that you can turn a paid tryst into a relationship by means of unrequited affection.

You probably don't even want to in most cases if you really look deeper beneath the hormones & the feel good oxytocin excitement. Really think about it.

What do they provide you? Does their intellect match yours? Are they interested in the same things? Do you like to do anything else together? Watch movies? Have similar humor? Do you have similar life goals? Or do you even know? Is it all based only on sexual trysts? I can virtually guarantee that's just oxytocin talking for you in such a case.

I can’t believe I actually made it through one of your posts from start to finish. This is the best thing I’ve read from you, MG.

[Wolfenstein4096]

So I’ve been having an awesome time meeting my providers but lately I have noticed my last two appointments I fell in love with them. I’m a sucker for fine ladies. I try not to but I can’t help it.

This is such a weird post that I'm not sure it was meant to be taken seriously. How do you "fall in love" with someone you don't actually know? I like the woman who cuts my hair: she's friendly, attractive, and (most importantly) she knows how to cut hair. She provides a service to me and I pay her for it. Sure, we interact with each other well enough when I'm sitting in her chair, but it's not like I entertain thoughts of continuing that interaction beyond the confines of the appointment. I don't know her, she doesn't know me, and even if I were to get 100 haircuts from her, that wouldn't change. How could I possibly fall in love with her?

[nulllight]

What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me)

But seriously, I think the point of contention was summed up nicely by another reply to the thread, that the author may have "fallen in lust" and is describing it as love.

Everyone has a different definition of what love is, and I think those who are inexperienced often make the mistake of conflating lustful infatuation with love.

This may not be the case in authors situation, but the only way to know would be to ask:
What is love? (To original author)

[knottyman]

If she won't pop the pimples on your back.
Kick her to the curb.
No one needs that kinda drama in their life

[petitesexylady]

This is the creepiest post I've seen! (Besides the man looking for teens)

Dude!!! Contact the lady, make an appt, F***, then leave.

Next!!!

We are not "falling in love" with every man we see....

Geez!!?

[Precious_b]

This is the creepiest post I've seen! (Besides the man looking for teens)

Dude!!! Contact the lady, make an appt, F***, then leave.

Next!!!

We are not "falling in love" with every man we see....

Geez!!?

Maybe he means the Lady wants him:
Wants him to stop calling
Wants him to stop stalking
Wants him to go away