It's really hard to describe, but it is the chemistry. It's little things. Things that we remember that make us want to come back. One lady actually brought me a flower on her first visit. Didn't know me from Adam's house cat. Never had that happen before or since. I still remember.

Another remembered what she was able to discern about my preferences in what she wore. One just really connected with things we shared in common outside the hobby (without needing to disclose personal identification). Sometimes it's the provider trusting me after a while to let me more fully pay attention to her needs and meet them. It's complex.

To providers, I'd just say stick with what works for you. While its vitally important to maintain boundaries, be genuine. Listen and share within established hobby boundaries. In terms of BDC skills, I may be in a minority in saying this, but if you focus in what activities you enjoy most, are willing to gently guide the guy to participate in things you like, and be perceptive of his responses to you, chances are good that he will consider you among his short list of ATFs.

Appearance matters more than age or body build. The guy will probably have taken that into account in scheduling the session in the first place. By appearance, I mean grooming, cleanliness, appropriate choice of clothing for arrival (if outcall). If your website photos are current and accurate that helps. Avoid distractions like taking calls or texting during the session.

Also know that for those of us who travel, we may only get to see you once, but if the encounter is fabulous, you become an ATF and we do share that experience by reviews or back channel within the hobby. First impressions do matter.

Just a few thoughts . . .