I caught feelings

[randomgetdown]

I'm posting this because I'm looking for perspective and help with my mental health and I guess to make more human connection. I've been working on being a better, honest, and vulnerable person all around cause for the majority of my life I've been closed off, introverted and kept to myself, never really verbalizing how I truly felt.

I recently came out of a 15 year relationship and started seeing a provider. When I initially contacted her, I never expected to catch feelings (for anonymities sake we'll call her provider A) . In fact before seeing provider A I had seen another provider before her and everything was good (provider B). During my visit with provider B I reached orgasm, had a short chat and was done. Not quite feeling satisfied I reached out to provider A.

When meeting provider A, I was quite nervous, I was really taken aback by how attracted I was to her. Talking to her I felt genuinely connected and even though during our session I didn't orgasm I felt fulfilled.

From the moment she left I knew I had caught serious feelings. I had to see her again so I booked another appointment for 2 hours. During this appointment we talked and cuddled the majority of the time and this visit I did orgasm and it was explosive. After the one orgasm our time was up and she was on her way. Again I missed her tremendously and booked another 2 hour appointment.

It was during this appointment I really let myself be vulnerable with her. I bought her flowers and I shared intimate details about my life and she did the same. We shared about our personal lives, our real names, our friends, etc. I felt like we were making a genuine connection and maybe even touching into the realm of building some kind of relationship. It was towards the end of this encounter I shared with her how I felt and that I was really falling for her.

I saw her two more times once for an overnight and the other for a two hour dinner.

Finally that brings us to today, we had been planning for another overnight, I had booked a nice hotel, made reservations for a nice restaurant and was really excited to see her. The entire night was kind of a train wreck and a little bit awkward. I told her again how I felt about her and that I was honestly kind of scared that there might come a point where she would stop talking to me. She assured me that that, wouldn't happen and that she really liked me and being with me. At the end of our overnight I was incredibly sad to see her go again and proceeded to do my best to sleep it off. When I couldn't sleep I went to check on our usual channels of communication and found that she had blocked me.

Long story short I caught feelings for a provider, fell into those feelings hard, shared my feelings, shared more feelings, was told I was crazy and ended up being incredibly hurt.

There are a lot of missing details to this story (conversations, actions, etc) but this is the shortest version I could make without getting into personal detail. Now I understand that catching feelings isn't the ideal thing to happen while hobbying I just feel incredibly hurt that in my attempts to be honest, vulnerable, and upfront with what I thought, felt, and wanted. That I was basically lied to, manipulated, and discarded for being too sensitive, clingy, and pushy.


Last note rereading this I know this can read like a very very stupid situation but again this is my attempt to use this forum as a healthy outlet in writing/sharing my feelings in order to be a well functioning human being and I guess I'm hoping I'm not the only person this has ever happened to.

Anyways thanks for reading this and possibly responding, also I'm new to the community... so hello.

[tyboy1]

Rule #1 never fall for a provider.
You'll get over it. Just move on.
And don't try to contact her. It will not turn out well for you.

[DocHoliday]

Op, this is a P4P site...NOT Match.com. Now this part is serious, you should never disclose personal information and NEVER do outcalls to your house. Never forget that we are just tricks!

Maybe you should consider this hobby ain’t for you.

[Bankshots]

+1 on what Tyboy said.
You aren't the first or last this has happened to. Just consider yourself lucky she blocked you. There are some that would have milked every dime they could from you.

[Krystal_RoseBBW]

From a woman's perspective....


Telling you in the moment that it would never happen that she would stop seeing you.....yes, that turned out to be a lie. But something men will never understand is the fact that we (females in general) are constantly having to consider our personal safety when in the presence of a man. Especially when we are alone with a man that we have not known for very long.
Manipulation? Meh....I'd say (possibly) she said what she felt she needed to in the moment to guarantee a safe exit.

Then there is always the possibility that she meant that in the moment but then, after thinking about it a while, realized that it would be wrong to string you along if she did not feel the same. Or how bad for her own business it could be if she did feel the same.

This is a business. But it is a very personal and intimate service. We are all human beings with human feelings. I've never consciously chosen to catch feelings. Not sure that's really possible. But it is within your choice to realize that, in this hobby, if you catch feelings........it is not likely to end well.

Another possibility is she may have gotten suspicious that you were hinting that you wanted to see her without compensating for her time. We tend to have that in the back of our minds whenever a client begins to talk about "relationship" stuff and deeper feelings.

I have fallen for clients a few times over the years. Struggling with a situation right now as a matter of fact. lol

I know that it will end in pain for me. But I also know that I will get over it. ;-P Been there, done that and I survived. I will again.

So will you OP. Good advice above......do your best to move on and get over it.

[mr-feet-dry]

From a woman's perspective....


Telling you in the moment that it would never happen that she would stop seeing you.....yes, that turned out to be a lie. But something men will never understand is the fact that we (females in general) are constantly having to consider our personal safety when in the presence of a man. Especially when we are alone with a man that we have not known for very long.
Manipulation? Meh....I'd say (possibly) she said what she felt she needed to in the moment to guarantee a safe exit.

Then there is always the possibility that she meant that in the moment but then, after thinking about it a while, realized that it would be wrong to string you along if she did not feel the same. Or how bad for her own business it could be if she did feel the same.

This is a business. But it is a very personal and intimate service. We are all human beings with human feelings. I've never consciously chosen to catch feelings. Not sure that's really possible. But it is within your choice to realize that, in this hobby, if you catch feelings........it is not likely to end well.

Another possibility is she may have gotten suspicious that you were hinting that you wanted to see her without compensating for her time. We tend to have that in the back of our minds whenever a client begins to talk about "relationship" stuff and deeper feelings.

I have fallen for clients a few times over the years. Struggling with a situation right now as a matter of fact. lol

I know that it will end in pain for me. But I also know that I will get over it. ;-P Been there, done that and I survived. I will again.

So will you OP. Good advice above......do your best to move on and get over it.

Very well stated and good advice.

[Warpt]

I get feelings for a lot of providers who offer GOOD GFE.
But soon as I bust a nut, that feeling goes away. Except for MindyLuv. WOW.

[Krystal_RoseBBW]

^^ Yep. I allow myself to feel my feels for nearly all my Gents during session. And then I revel in those feelings for a few minutes after they leave.

But then those feels fade as I go about the menial tasks of cleaning my incall space and checking my texts and emails. lol

[Italia DiBella]

Oh Ouchie

[Brooke Wilde]

Just consider yourself lucky she blocked you. There are some that would have milked every dime they could from you.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I have heard some horror stories over the years. Some that are so bad they stay on my mind for days, if not weeks.

I wouldn't feel bad about anything, OP. I have had to stop seeing many men over the years due to stuff like this, but it never happened because I did not like them, if anything I stopped seeing them because I respected them so much & didn't want them to get hurt or focus all their energy on me.

[someguy12]

Op, this is a P4P site...NOT Match.com. Now this part is serious, you should never disclose personal information and NEVER do outcalls to your house. Never forget that we are just tricks!

Maybe you should consider this hobby ain’t for you.

Doc, this was discussed before in another thread and if I recall you said the same thing. I think you should put that statement in your signature line so that way it doesn’t become a broken record, LOL.

[chloevankatie]

There are a lot of missing details to this story (conversations, actions, etc) but this is the shortest version I could make without getting into personal detail. Now I understand that catching feelings isn't the ideal thing to happen while hobbying I just feel incredibly hurt that in my attempts to be honest, vulnerable, and upfront with what I thought, felt, and wanted. That I was basically lied to, manipulated, and discarded for being too sensitive, clingy, and pushy.

You feel this way cause you let your feelings go too far.

Many gents think providers don't have feelings, but we do. However, in order to stay professional, we have to learn to cut it off when those feelings get to be more than we can handle.

So you are feeling hurt because you thought she was feeling the same feelings that you were, but she was just doing her job. And apparently doing it well.

You feel hurt that she ghosted you after you expressed your feelings, but you should be glad that she chose to ghost you instead of take advantage of someone who is vulnerable.

It hurts like hell now, but the cliche is that time heals all wounds and the cliche is true. Just give it some time, and you will be laughing at this a year from now.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone, so dust yourself off and find the next lady. There are so many to chose from.

Next time you start to catch feelings, address them as soon as possible before it goes too far and cut the situation off quickly if you need to, and you can avoid feeling hurt.

[chloevankatie]

From a woman's perspective....


Telling you in the moment that it would never happen that she would stop seeing you.....yes, that turned out to be a lie. But something men will never understand is the fact that we (females in general) are constantly having to consider our personal safety when in the presence of a man. Especially when we are alone with a man that we have not known for very long.
Manipulation? Meh....I'd say (possibly) she said what she felt she needed to in the moment to guarantee a safe exit.

So true, she may have been saying what she thought could get her through the moment with the least amount of confrontation.

Don't act like you guys on here don't do the same thing when the pressure is on....lol.

[Universal]

IOP is the main thing we are graded upon & our GFE skills shouldn't be robotic/out of touch. Etc.

The girl didn't lead him on into a personal relationship outside of being a provider & did an excellent job.


I don't think it's wrong for her or any provider to continue a business arrangement but with the clarification of "NO emotional attachment". A provider shouldn't be labeled the 'bad guy" for doing a great job.(I am not implicating anyone called her a bad guy, just giving constructive criticism)

[DocHoliday]

Doc, this was discussed before in another thread and if I recall you said the same thing. I think you should put that statement in your signature line so that way it doesn’t become a broken record, LOL.

It matters not if I did or didn’t. Members are joining here everyday. Newbies need to know what I’m talking about. If you have read it before, move along. Most of what I post on this site is directed to the newbies for their benefit. If you disagree with me, let the newbies know what you think.