another "paying up front" thread

[dodger]

when i see a thread by a buy who paid in advance and got burned, i know i'm going to see a series of responses emphatically stating "never pay upfront!" responses. this is, of course, reasonable advice. could just as easily advise providers not to begin a session without counting the donation. easy enough to get burned on either side.

i'm just not a fan of the 'never' part. i think there are a set of caveats and we are all adult enough to understand what they are. i don't believe in a policy of paying up front. but if a provider i respect is going over a rough spot, paying in advance does not seem out of line. i understand that i lending some money to a person who was likely going to pay back in services at some future point in time.

anytime i lend money, inside or outside of the hobby, there is a chance the loan will not be repaid. sometimes because a person has an ethical deficiancy. sometimes because of circumstances beyond one's control. shit happens. here is the thing. my money. my decision. if my confidence level and respect in the person is high enough, the worst case is that i helped a person out of a jam. the better case is that good times lay ahead.

if a provider fails to live up to the agreement, it is fair to share that information so folks can take that into consideration in making decisions. but i think it would be silly to make a big deal out of it. a person makes a decision and few things are certain in this world. getting money from someone who owes you (inside or outside of the hobby) ... falls into the 'uncertain' bucket. that will not keep me for doing it when i think circumstances warrant (and i have it to spare... that is key). like i said, worst case is that i helped someone.

now ... i would like to hear from the providers willing to front a session for me on those occasions when i might be a bit short (but i won't hold my breath waiting for those responses).

ps ... if a reader thinks this is an invitation to hit me up for cash ... don't bother ... i'm just philosophizing ... strictly a writing exercise in fiction

more like moral support for folks who are concerned about being criticized. i can't say i have never been burned paying up front ... but overwhelmingly it has been repaid ...joyously ... joyous for me, anyway

[Hollis Wood]

Once you have paid upfront (right before a session) you have lost all control over how the session progresses.

The provider has less incentive to make the session good for the both of you.

You have diminished your safety and security by paying and expecting good service- it’s an implied contract- but you have now waived any remedy for a breach.

When I go to say Perry’s Steakhouse, it’s a top tier place. I eat and then I pay. When I go to McDonald’s I’ve got to pay upfront for my shitty food.

I want providers like Perry’s, not McDonald’s.

[casa-nova]

Always C.O.D.

[SirDoughnutt]

Paying first during the session is one thing. Nothing is wrong with that. But paying in advance before you even see the person is just stupid.

[DocHoliday]

OP, if you prepay and get ripped off, don’t come here complaining. Newbies, NEVER prepay!! You will get ripped off.

[dodger]

OP, if you prepay and get ripped off, don’t come here complaining. Newbies, NEVER prepay!! You will get ripped off.

well .. you can be ripped off but it is not a certainty. i am not talking about when a provider makes part or all of the donation due before the 'event'. did you read my post? have i ever pre-paid? yes. have i ever been ripped off? well ... i'm going with "yes" on that. but most of the time it has worked out well enough that for certain providers, i would do it again. standard practice? hell no ... would not even consider it. it is not a dictum or a practice in engage regularly. it is a decision made on an individual basis.

have i ever complained in these forums (or anywhere else)? no. but if a lady fails to hold her end, i would post it. not to complain but advise others who may be considering a request from a provider. just info exchange ... which is what the board supports.

But paying in advance before you even see the person is just stupid.

seems harsh but OK. everyone can have an opinion. mine is ... lending money to someone you don't know anything about and have no previous dealings ... inside or outside of the hobby ... is generally not a good idea. i would not book a lady who requires a deposit as part of the booking process. i appreciate i can be wordy. sorry. but i'm not going to repeat what i said in the original post.

the hobby is ..well ..odd. it is a transaction. but i don't book a lady unless i feel a connection, a liking and/or affection, and anticipate we will enjoy time the with each other ... that it will be a fun. i admit, i am concerned with the fun on my side of the transaction. for the provider, this is her business. she may or may not have fun ... that is pretty much not my concern. i think most guys anticipate that a good provider who is not having fun ... will still act like she is having fun ... part of the service from better providers.

i don't hobby to make friends or "meet new people". i hobby to have sex with sexy ladies. so i agree that i am a trick. sometimes "just a trick" though most good providers will make sure their client doesn't actually feel that way. providers have told me that some clients treat them with disdain. i tend to treat them with affection and gratitude, without losing sight of who we are and what we are doing. no reason a transaction can't be great fun .. imo, that is what it should.

i get tired of the "prepaying is always stoopid" because i know it has been fine for me most of the time. i'm sure i'm not alone. in the hobby, folks get played sometimes. not just guys ... ask a provider if she has ever been shorted or gotten the "i just need to go to my car to get my wallet".