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Thread: another "paying up front" thread

  1. #1
    Verified Hobbyist BCD dodger's Avatar
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    another "paying up front" thread

    when i see a thread by a buy who paid in advance and got burned, i know i'm going to see a series of responses emphatically stating "never pay upfront!" responses. this is, of course, reasonable advice. could just as easily advise providers not to begin a session without counting the donation. easy enough to get burned on either side.

    i'm just not a fan of the 'never' part. i think there are a set of caveats and we are all adult enough to understand what they are. i don't believe in a policy of paying up front. but if a provider i respect is going over a rough spot, paying in advance does not seem out of line. i understand that i lending some money to a person who was likely going to pay back in services at some future point in time.

    anytime i lend money, inside or outside of the hobby, there is a chance the loan will not be repaid. sometimes because a person has an ethical deficiancy. sometimes because of circumstances beyond one's control. shit happens. here is the thing. my money. my decision. if my confidence level and respect in the person is high enough, the worst case is that i helped a person out of a jam. the better case is that good times lay ahead.

    if a provider fails to live up to the agreement, it is fair to share that information so folks can take that into consideration in making decisions. but i think it would be silly to make a big deal out of it. a person makes a decision and few things are certain in this world. getting money from someone who owes you (inside or outside of the hobby) ... falls into the 'uncertain' bucket. that will not keep me for doing it when i think circumstances warrant (and i have it to spare... that is key). like i said, worst case is that i helped someone.

    now ... i would like to hear from the providers willing to front a session for me on those occasions when i might be a bit short (but i won't hold my breath waiting for those responses).

    ps ... if a reader thinks this is an invitation to hit me up for cash ... don't bother ... i'm just philosophizing ... strictly a writing exercise in fiction

    more like moral support for folks who are concerned about being criticized. i can't say i have never been burned paying up front ... but overwhelmingly it has been repaid ...joyously ... joyous for me, anyway
    A provider standing in the shadows once said: "I just can't do civvie sex. I'm too fucking spoiled!" (truth)

    For ladies who can’t be bothered reading profiles: … old guy … long hair and full beard … not a stud muffin … not every woman’s dream … but polite ... very, very gfe, smooching, cuddling ... more smooching

  2. #2
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    Once you have paid upfront (right before a session) you have lost all control over how the session progresses.

    The provider has less incentive to make the session good for the both of you.

    You have diminished your safety and security by paying and expecting good service- it’s an implied contract- but you have now waived any remedy for a breach.

    When I go to say Perry’s Steakhouse, it’s a top tier place. I eat and then I pay. When I go to McDonald’s I’ve got to pay upfront for my shitty food.

    I want providers like Perry’s, not McDonald’s.

  3. #3
    Verified Hobbyist BCD casa-nova's Avatar
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    Always C.O.D.

  4. #4
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    Paying first during the session is one thing. Nothing is wrong with that. But paying in advance before you even see the person is just stupid.

  5. #5
    Verified Hobbyist BCD DocHoliday's Avatar
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    OP, if you prepay and get ripped off, don’t come here complaining. Newbies, NEVER prepay!! You will get ripped off.
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  6. #6
    Verified Hobbyist BCD dodger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DocHoliday View Post
    OP, if you prepay and get ripped off, don’t come here complaining. Newbies, NEVER prepay!! You will get ripped off.
    well .. you can be ripped off but it is not a certainty. i am not talking about when a provider makes part or all of the donation due before the 'event'. did you read my post? have i ever pre-paid? yes. have i ever been ripped off? well ... i'm going with "yes" on that. but most of the time it has worked out well enough that for certain providers, i would do it again. standard practice? hell no ... would not even consider it. it is not a dictum or a practice in engage regularly. it is a decision made on an individual basis.

    have i ever complained in these forums (or anywhere else)? no. but if a lady fails to hold her end, i would post it. not to complain but advise others who may be considering a request from a provider. just info exchange ... which is what the board supports.

    Quote Originally Posted by SirDoughnutt View Post
    But paying in advance before you even see the person is just stupid.
    seems harsh but OK. everyone can have an opinion. mine is ... lending money to someone you don't know anything about and have no previous dealings ... inside or outside of the hobby ... is generally not a good idea. i would not book a lady who requires a deposit as part of the booking process. i appreciate i can be wordy. sorry. but i'm not going to repeat what i said in the original post.

    the hobby is ..well ..odd. it is a transaction. but i don't book a lady unless i feel a connection, a liking and/or affection, and anticipate we will enjoy time the with each other ... that it will be a fun. i admit, i am concerned with the fun on my side of the transaction. for the provider, this is her business. she may or may not have fun ... that is pretty much not my concern. i think most guys anticipate that a good provider who is not having fun ... will still act like she is having fun ... part of the service from better providers.

    i don't hobby to make friends or "meet new people". i hobby to have sex with sexy ladies. so i agree that i am a trick. sometimes "just a trick" though most good providers will make sure their client doesn't actually feel that way. providers have told me that some clients treat them with disdain. i tend to treat them with affection and gratitude, without losing sight of who we are and what we are doing. no reason a transaction can't be great fun .. imo, that is what it should.

    i get tired of the "prepaying is always stoopid" because i know it has been fine for me most of the time. i'm sure i'm not alone. in the hobby, folks get played sometimes. not just guys ... ask a provider if she has ever been shorted or gotten the "i just need to go to my car to get my wallet".
    A provider standing in the shadows once said: "I just can't do civvie sex. I'm too fucking spoiled!" (truth)

    For ladies who can’t be bothered reading profiles: … old guy … long hair and full beard … not a stud muffin … not every woman’s dream … but polite ... very, very gfe, smooching, cuddling ... more smooching

  7. #7
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Raikage's Avatar
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    I must have been super lucky cuz I have had no issues with any one after supplying payment first.

  8. #8
    MULTIPLE HANDLES - BANNED! STALKER! Passion2015's Avatar
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    Back in the day I didn't have much of an issue but now days, I would never pay before meeting.

  9. #9
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Raikage's Avatar
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    Just to be clear, I'd never pay before meeting.

  10. #10
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    Here’s one for you OP:

    https://home.ourhome2.net/showthread...ately-need-a-f

    What could go wrong?

  11. #11
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Anandaman's Avatar
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    I'd say 98 of my last 100 sessions, I paid at the end of the session. I don't think many girls I've seen have any problem with that and that's their norm (and mine). I don't mind if a girl asks me for the payment at the beginning of the session. I'd prefer to pay at the end. I've had a low number of sessions that didn't go well - very few because I do my homework. For example, the first 20 mins of a 1 hr session go fast, I got one nut and the girl gets dressed like it's over and starts saying good bye. I like 1 hr session with MSOG which is typically clear before the session starts. Because I haven't paid yet, it's easy to reach into my pocket, inform of my displeasure of how the session went and proceed to pay her for the 1/2 hour rate and exit the room - easy peasy. But, if you've ALREADY PAID upfront, it's VERY difficult to ask for some of the money back...

    As others have said above, I had NEVER pre-paid a girl prior to meeting for a session - with the except of a few girls that I have known for years, seen dozens of times and I KNOW they're not going to pull anything funny.

    A'Man

  12. #12
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    I don’t pre-pay or give deposits but the following when entering an incall.

    The very first thing I do after the initial greeting is place the donation in a neutral visible area spreading out the bills while their watching. They get the message. Not once in 15 years has a girl taken that money before a session starts. It builds trust and lets them know your paying the agreed amount.

    I don’t want to spend an hour session with a girl who’s anxious about her money which is the main reason she’s seeing me to begin with.

  13. #13
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    Never had any issues walking in, giving warm greeting, little chit chat, discreetly placing donation down, and then excusing myself to freshen up. Then again I research like a MoFo.

  14. #14
    Verified Hobbyist BCD DocHoliday's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AusTexGuy View Post
    Never had any issues walking in, giving warm greeting, little chit chat, discreetly placing donation down, and then excusing myself to freshen up. Then again I research like a MoFo.
    In my experience, you should NEVER let the donation out of your sight before the end of the meeting. In this ^^^ example, he left the door wide open for her or a manager to scoop up the donation and disappear while he was busy "freshening up" js, y'all do as ya wish.
    Newbie members friendly. Troll inhospitable & I have an ever growing troll ignore list!!!
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  15. #15
    Administrator ck1942's Avatar
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    For many years, now, I have insisted that all ladies should have two rules;

    1) they make the rules and
    2) they make sure the gents know the rules up front.

    For the most part, before I attempt to see any lady I check her rules.

    And I try to follow her rules, for example, if she asks for donation

    -- to be place in envelope on bathroom sink

    -- handed over during initial greeting.

    If she wants to count before we "engage" -- fine with me.

    ETCETERA!

    Thing is, she made the rules and I agreed up front.

    If she publishes rules that I cannot or will not agree to, then, I respect those rules and I move along. (POF)

    otoh, if she doesn't have any rules specifically regarding placement of donation, my personal habit of many hobbying years is that immediately after arrival, I obviously place my donation in plain sight, preferably underneath her cell phone -- very obviously -- and then we commence our pleasures.

    As happens frequently, both with ladies I already know and ladies who are new to me, our engagement often starts right after the door closes and we progress to hmmmmm and ummmmm and mmmmm while I seek to place my donation in an obvious place even as she grabs my ^^^^^ and

    reason for the above process is I would be very deficient if we indulged in pleasure and due to the ensuing haze of afterglow I were to leave without making a cash deposit (in addition to all my other deposits)!

    ijs
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