Am I too nice???

[Fallout4]

Sounds like they are just looking for freebies. They have to understand what you do “off the clock” is solely up you and respect that your not going to spend it with them. Lol at the guy that wanted to steal you away for 7 days. That’s 7 days of earned income lost! Some kind of compensation should be expected! I mean even were getting paid while on vacation why should it be any different for you lol.

[Anna Nikkole]

I enjoyed a splendid time with you recently. Your broke my OH2 cherry in the sweetest way. You helped me indulge my fantasy, but we both knew it was a fantasy, and we both knew that the other knew it was a fantasy. We joked about some things that we both know are 'fantastic', and not founded in the RW. I know you will never call on me. But joking around was flirtatious and gratifying. BUT WE BOTH KEEP OUR FEET AND MINDS GROUNDED IN THE REAL WORLD.

Trust your gut. Honor your own values and boundaries for the sake of security and business. Stay safe, and professional. You are already one of the most personable people of either gender I have ever known, RW or hobby wise. If someone steps across the line, you can tell him, "Please, let us not go there" or some such to raise a red flag. If he insists, excuse yourself from his company and block all calls. Do not let anyone impose on your friendly manner to think they can manipulate you into complying with their unrealistic expectations.

Regards expectations, always be S.M.A.R.T.
S.pecific THE WHAT DO YOU WANT
M.easureable HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT, AND WHAT BENEFIT TO ME
A.ttainable IS IT WITHIN REACH, or beyond what can be done
R.ealistic DOES THE S.M.A. FIT IN YOUR LIFESTYLE AND BUSINESS PLAN
T.angible WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, WILL BOTH PARTIES HAVE A WIN-WIN, OR SOME MISUNDERSTANDING

If it is not S.M.A.R.T., misunderstanding will ensue, conflict will arise, ... YOU are not a conflicted person, except for perhaps trying to be liked too much.
Do not let ANYONE try to manipulate you or make you feel obligated to comply with a request.

Be S.M.A.R.T. or Be Gone from that person.

That said, you far exceeded my hopes and expectations. I wish you did not have a NO REVIEW policy so I could brag on you.

Best regards,

Randy

Thank you.

We talked about some things I was doing these days. I just can't take off and do dinner and drinks with EVERYONE who ask me. I would be fat and drunk all the time. It's not possible as I know some really great people. I keep this life as this life, and anything personal I keep personal. If I go for dinner and drinks because you are such an awesome person I could possibly be missing a 90 minute call with a regular that was guaranteed. I am just choosing my family above all for free time. But I thank you so much for yiur kind words. They meant so much and you have a beautiful Memorial day!!!

[Anna Nikkole]

Sounds like they are just looking for freebies. They have to understand what you do “off the clock” is solely up you and respect that your not going to spend it with them. Lol at the guy that wanted to steal you away for 7 days. That’s 7 days of earned income lost! Some kind of compensation should be expected! I mean even were getting paid while on vacation why should it be any different for you lol.

I would love a paid vacation lol. But to HAVE TO sleep with someone for 7 nights who I'm not comfortable with (I don't sleep well next to strangers). It would not be a vacation, I would be fulfilling his fantasy while I lose 2-6k that week depending on how my schedule books. My bills suffer, my household suffers (but I get food and drinks free) lol.

Thank you darling. I'm going to continue to be nice, I might just have to be a meanie to those who can't take no for an answer!!!

[DEAR _JOHN]

Thank you darling. I'm going to continue to be nice, I might just have to be a meanie to those who can't take no for an answer!!!

Yes, and it's really that simple. You've always come off to me as one who is very sweet in nature and a lovely person. I'm looking forward to seeing you in the near future.

[Fallout4]

Yes, and it's really that simple. You've always come off to me as one who is very sweet in nature and a lovely person. I'm looking forward to seeing you in the near future.

This! Anna always comes off as sweet as she is seductive. Beautiful combo

[DocHoliday]

As long as you both agree, that’s all cool. However, it does not sound like you agree so it ain’t all cool. The dude has got to pay up if you don’t agree. It’s that simple. This is a business for ya. Stick to your rules and he can pay up find someone else to go.

[DEAR _JOHN]

As long as you both agree, that’s all cool. However, it does not sound like you agree so it ain’t all cool. The dude has got to pay up if you don’t agree. It’s that simple. This is a business for ya. Stick to your rules and he can pay up find someone else to go.

Yep!

[Gibbous60]

A true hobbyist should look on your time as paid time. I have done overnights and have travelled with providers in the past. International as well. I understood they were not doing this for the experience of wonderful me. It was a fee for service. Now if we both had fun so much the better.
He should realize this is a business. Euroescort is about 9000 Ecu per week. And per day 1500 to 2500. Or more. And like all business things should be booked in advance at mutually agreeable times. That’s why some say passport ready. Or SB.
So yes....you are too nice. ❤️

[WangoTango]

Sounds like you need to cut these guys loose.

[Ben Rhimene]

An interesting topic, and clearly one that revs up people's emotions.

From my perspective the issue is one party not sharing the same perception of value as the other. Are they rude? Maybe, but maybe not. They are, however, presumptuous about sharing the same concept of value as you.

The guy who halved your donation because of what he paid for in addition to your time made a HUGE assumption he should have cleared with you first; it was wrong for him to think you valued the food, lingerie, at the store price and would accept a like/kind exchange for your cash fee.

The cruise? Strikes me as a bit more grey. There is positive value in being given a vacation with lodging and meals included, plus the cash for the intimate encounters. But that value does not match the cost. Some ladies may have sufficient means to go on a cruise by themselves (or with family/friends) and thus going with a gent from here isn't such a great "gift" especially if there is lost income (or less obvious costs such as disrupted sleep patterns). Others may not be as fortunate, or view the opportunity to get away for free and earn a bit as worth it as they can then spend money on things other than a week-long cruise; that avoided cost is worth it to them even if it means being with a gent from the board. What constitutes a vacation is not universally the same, even for recipients of such "gifts."

It really boils down to your individual situation, and this is why it is so important to clearly communicare expectations and boundaries. It eliminates those who use ambiguity to take advantage of others, as well as helping to avoid confusion that doesn't necessarily come from a bad place.

And that cuts both ways. Years ago I had a few interesting sessions with a lady and she suggested an overnight. I had avoided those because most overnight rates I had seen were priced as if it was nonstop physical intimacy and that doesn't make sense to me (if you feel otherwise that is great...just my view). She quoted a rate that made sense to me as an acceptable value and we had a great time. A few months later we realized we were both on vacation in the same town and she invited me over for a few hours, and she made it clear it was off the clock. Did the lines get blurred? Not for me, as I accepted she was running a business, but also has personal wants and needs. I cannot speak for her...perhaps she just was a bit lonely that day. But we communicated clearly and neither took advantage of the other.

I do think hobby and RW intersections can work and be mutually beneficial. Having said that, I think it is rare because the real personalities have to match, and the respect has to be mutual. I think it is far too common for it to not work because one or the other will have a freeloader mentality when it comes to money or sex; after all, that is the underlying basis for the two people initially meeting and so it is hard to set that aside.

[whiteknight]

These gentlemen sound very desperate. To each his own.

[Preggolover89]

I treat people like they are people. I love deep conversations and feeling like I'm in the presence of a friend when I'm working. But do I ask for these guys to expect more?

Example: young guy, we have done 2 separate 6 hour sessions we hung out, fucked, ate, fucked some more. It was fine. But it was work and I received donation.

I get a text this morning to go to the beach tomorrow, he will pay for it all. Ok? How much for me? The beach is far, places are booked so if we get back early we can fuck. We will work it out. He actually says "I want to hang out with you and I'll pay for everything, you said we are friends". Ummmm yes, and business is how it started and will always be. I have never dated in the hobby, and honestly it's not for me and I'm not starting now.

I'm working tomorrow to supplement my income and I'm assuming I'll make 1k, so you pay expenses and give me that. I'm going to the beach Monday and taking the day off. He says "Babe, I'll take you Monday". Again, I have already planned this with friends. "Aren't we friends?". I'm just like grrrrr

Ladies, gents? Why do I feel badly. I separate my lives and my friends actually. Hobby people are so very cool, I have an amazing life, but I've never made a free arrangement.

How would you handle this?

lol dude sees you twice and thinks you're friends. There are definitely a few girls I'd consider friends in the hobby but 1) I've seen them way more than twice and 2) I ain't asking them to work for free.

In this scenario I'd throw out something like "aww sorry baby but I really have to work! I need to pay for my new car/house/etc". If he mentions something about paying you but lowballs then offer whatever you feel is reasonable. I'd never pay a provider full rates to hang out because I'm only good to fuck once or twice but I've come to arrangements with providers I click with for overnights that were a significant discount to stated overnight rates but still very much worth their time. You might be able to find a compromise like that here.

[GeorgeDRII]

You know Anna, the guys can bring dinner and wine to you as part of a session. It would be paid of course for your time, and in the comfort of your own place. Sessions such as those can have fond and lasting memories. Not saying love is involved but the whole IOP package. Nothing like some whip cream on your sweet spots for desert! Mmmmmm yummy. Hell that's being nice on both parties involved.

[pyro]

Its a business transaction. Take care of the envelope first then enjoy time spent together. The beach i consider an outcall.
So take your own transpo and if the session goes south, punch out and go home. Don’t sweat being perceived as not nice.
Handle your business. Act like a doormat and you’ll be treated like a doormat. IOP aside its just business. Many appreciate
the value in a transaction where both parties get what they want. Its nice to be nice, but to quote Dr. Phil...
“How’s that working for you?”
You seem to have a good reputation so a blip wont tarnish you by those who do their research.

sorry to be blunt but it is what it is...

pyro