In 2017, thousands upon thousands of dollars in toys and equipment from my dungeon, I collected over the years, was stolen by a provider I rented an incall from. After that, I stopped playing as the reminder of what happened would send me over the edge. Plus, I started to live in fantasy land more than the real world, having a stable of slaves from pain sluts to sissy maids to errand boys, submissive’s, medical fetish & foot fetish clients, elaborate mental games that would last days, fuck toys, a submissive service personal chef and driver. At one point, I was gifted a tiara and may as well have thought I was THE QUEEN of My Castle! I was totally out of control with it, I felt.

The more sadistic and elaborate my D/s sessions grew, the more it started to scare me! It was a very therapeutic and stimulating time in my life, that I’m extremely grateful for. It’s been said, the more the urge to dominate, the more out of control one feels inside. I don’t know that that is necessarily true, but it did help me heal in unexpected ways. I’ve been getting the itch to step back in, lately, but I’m not quite sure what I’d like. I was one sadistic ball busting domina! Now, I think its equaled out to just knowing the power of my femininity and wanting to be worshipped by a sexy sub that is dominant in the work world, yet secretly loves to please his goddess/mistress.

In the end, I discovered that I am a switch, in my personal life, depending on trust levels. BDSM helped me heal & grow more than any therapy session did and it was a safe, “sane” and consensual way to explore this alternative lifestyle.

I don’t have any of the things I used to, but some of my best Dommegasms were from elaborate role play and psychodrama sessions! I will never forget this one particular role play session where W/we were both in the same headspace acting out an intense role play session of me as the disciplinarian and he the seduced naive college student. I literally O’d without any sexual stimulation! Out of all the years providing, that review still remains my favorite!! It’s one of the most vivid sessions to remember! Jimmy, I’m talking about you, you perverse little shit! Lol, oh the delightful memories of bdsm debauchery back then.