Jokes On You

[Oral Empress]

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[JessieJane]

A retired prostitute is looking for a virgin to marry.

She searches and searches and finally finds one in Australia.

So on their wedding night she goes into the bathroom to slip into something more comfortable

While she is in there she hears lots of loud noises coming from outside the door

She peeks out and sees her new husband stacking and pushing all the furniture to the wall.

She says “honey, what the hell are you doing”?

He says (in his thick Australian accent) “It’s true, I’ve never f**ked a woman before, but if it’s anything like f**king a kangaroo, were gonna need all the room we can get."

[Lovinglifeinaustin]

A retired prostitute is looking for a virgin to marry.

She searches and searches and finally finds one in Australia.

So on their wedding night she goes into the bathroom to slip into something more comfortable

While she is in there she hears lots of loud noises coming from outside the door

She peeks out and sees her new husband stacking and pushing all the furniture to the wall.

She says “honey, what the hell are you doing”?

He says (in his thick Australian accent) “It’s true, I’ve never f**ked a woman before, but if it’s anything like f**king a kangaroo, were gonna need all the room we can get."

Funny! Reminds me of another story that many of you may have heard...

A Texan is getting drunk in a bar in Alaska and he starts to brag about how great Texas is.

An Alaskan hunter comes up to him and says, "Listen, buddy. Here in Alaska, you ain't shit until you've done three things: Drink a fifth of Alaskan whiskey, wrestle a polar bear, and fuck an Eskimo woman."

The Texan accepts the challenge and starts by grabbing a bottle of whisky from the counter and painfully chugging it down. He then says that he'll be right back and ambles out the door.

A few hours later he stumbles back into the bar all mangled and bloody and says, "I did it! Now where's that Eskimo woman I gotta wrestle?”

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[JessieJane]

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[Lovinglifeinaustin]

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They forgot one...talk about your feelings.

[JessieJane]

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[Lovinglifeinaustin]

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I’d like to order a good fuck and a margarita...no salt.

[The1Slayer]

[Dorthy Monroe]

I posted this earlier. I thought it was hilarious. This is my kind of thread!!!

This shit is funny as f u c k

[Itwsntme]

how do you make a hormone? You don’t pay her

[Anna Nikkole]

I'm such a pervert. I found some more lol.....

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This shit is funny as f u c k

Oh the look on that cats face with that banana killed me.

[JessieJane]

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[Anna Nikkole]

Here's some more..... Let me know if I'm crossing boundaries... I hate boundaries lol

[Universal]

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They forgot one...talk about your feelings.

This^^^^

[crowbar]

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