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Thread: Happy Hump Day Joke...

  1. #16
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    Q: What do the female Reindeer do when the mail Reindeer are out helping Santa Clause?

    A: They go into town to blow a few Bucks

    Q: What's the difference between Mono and Herpes?

    A: You get Mono if you snatch a kiss, you get Herpes if....

  2. #17
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    THE BIRTH OF A CANDY BAR

    One PAYDAY, MR. PEANUT wanted a BIT O'HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. It was pure ALMOND JOY. It made her TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out a SNICKERS as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICYFRUIT and caused a MILKYWAY. She screamed out OH HENRY as she squeezed his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. MARY JANE said: "you are even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS."

    Soon she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later
    had a BABY RUTH.

  3. #18
    The "Guide" In Black ® Mokoa's Avatar
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    Well, I'll never look at candy the same way again.
    "Don't come here and grumble about going too fast. Get the hell out of the race car if you've got feathers on your legs or butt. Put a kerosene rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up there and eat that candy ass."

    Dale Earnhardt

    9/11 Memorial


  4. #19
    Verified Companion Companion Champagne Brown's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GeorgeDRII View Post
    THE BIRTH OF A CANDY BAR

    One PAYDAY, MR. PEANUT wanted a BIT O'HONEY, so he took MARY JANE behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. It was pure ALMOND JOY. It made her TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out a SNICKERS as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICYFRUIT and caused a MILKYWAY. She screamed out OH HENRY as she squeezed his PETER PAUL and ZAGNUTS. MARY JANE said: "you are even better than the THREE MUSKETEERS."

    Soon she was a bit CHUNKY and nine months later
    had a BABY RUTH.
    **UPDATED** 09/23/22
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  5. #20
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    https://www.facebook.com/10002684830...6465122591761/

    Check this one out! He went flying!

  6. #21
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    Q: Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

    A: Because they don't want to admit that a piece of meat makes them happy.

  7. #22
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, but do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.

  8. #23
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    Q: What do a male prostitute and the Pink Panther have in common?

    A: They're both Peter Sellers

  9. #24
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    Q: What can a jelly bean do that a man can't?

    A: Come in different colors.

    Q: What's the difference between dark and hard?

    A: It stays dark all night.

    Q: What's the definition of nothing?

    A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his nose.

    Two things a woman shouldn't do in a bedroom:

    Point and laugh
    Last edited by GeorgeDRII; 12-04-2019 at 06:36 PM.

  10. #25
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    SO YOU DON'T KNOW JACK SCHITT

    He's the only son of Awe and Oh Schitt. Awe the fertilizer magnet, married Oh the owner of the Knee Deep Inn. Jack married Noe, who used to be married to Ted Sherlock. She kept the last name Sherlock. So she's named Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Jack and Noe had 6 children, Holy being their first died shortly after birth. Next came twin sons, Deep and Dip. Deep married his cousin Lotta, their parents were against it. Then Noe gave birth to 2 daughters, Fulla and Giva. Finally Noe had their last son Bull. Then Lotta gave birth to a son and they named him Chicken. Fulla and Giva married the Happens brothers. The Schitt-Happens kids are; Dawg, Byrd and Horace. Bull married an Italian woman named Pisa and they're awaiting the arrival of a Baby Schitt.

  11. #26
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Lovinglifeinaustin's Avatar
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    A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally elbows the breast of a woman beside him. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your prick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

    Happy hump day!
    James
    Loving life in Austin



  12. #27
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Lovinglifeinaustin's Avatar
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    I know it’s not hump day, but if I don’t tell this now I will forget it. Besides, every day should be hump day!

    A Greek and an Irishman were sitting in a coffee shop one day comparing their two cultures.

    The Greek mentions, “We built the Pantheon, you may recall, along with the Temple of Apollo.”

    “Well, it was the Irish that discovered the Summer and Winter Solstices.”

    “But it was the Greeks who gave birth to advanced mathematics.”

    “Granted, but it was the Irish who built the first timepieces.”

    Knowing that he’s about to deliver the coup de grace, the son of Athens points out with a note of finality: “Keep in mind that it was the ancient Greeks who invented the notion of sex as a pleasurable activity!”

    “Ah, true enough, but it was the Irish who got women involved.”

    James
    Loving life in Austin



  13. #28
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    Q: What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?
    A: A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

    Q: What's the difference between light and hard?
    A: A man can sleep with a light on.

  14. #29
    Verified Hobbyist BCD Mitch P's Avatar
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    Q: what did the cannibal do after dumping his wife?

    A: whip his ass
    Life is good when someone other then yourself is playing with your wood

  15. #30
    Verified Hobbyist & "Counselor" for new reviewers BCD GeorgeDRII's Avatar
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    I'm back from the hard part of dealing with the lost. Now to lighten it up a little.

    Q: What's green and gay and flies?

    A: Peter Panzy

    A queer guy walks into a country bar and says in a feminine voice to the bartender, "I'd like a sp****er please." The bartender says in a harsh country voice, "We don't serve you at the bar, you have to go sit down." Just then a sweaty ranch hand walks in and says, "I'm so thirsty i could lick the sweat off a cows balls!" Then the queer says from across the bar, "Moooooo"

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