What Happens in Vegas......Better Stay in Vegas!

[Gipper]

A guy is walking the strip in Las Vegas and a fantastic-looking Vegas ****** catches his eye .

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the ******, "How much do you charge?"

The ****** replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."

The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

The ****** says, "Do you see that Denny's on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny's about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny's?"

"Yes."

"Well," says the ******, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And I own them because I give a hand-job that's worth $500."

So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I'll give it a try."

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he has just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"

The ****** replies, "$1,500."

"I wouldn't pay that for a blow-job!"

The ****** replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that's worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so and says, "Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money's worth.

He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

He asks the ******, "How much for some pussy?"

The ****** says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something.
Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us: All those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No" the ****** replies, "but I would.. if I had a pussy."

[blaktygre]

priceless!! LMAO!!

[PennyLane]

OMG!!

[wheels69]

don't go to Vegas :unsure:

[PennyLane]

That's what Obama keeps telling us.....wonder if he had a similar experience.........mmmmm

[dennisrn]

A new priest (Father Dennis??) has been assigned to the parrish covering the worst streets of Las Vegas...

Coming back to the church one night - a lady of the night approached him and says, "...Hey Father -- blowjob ==> $25.00..."

The hairs on the back of his neck crinkle and he keeps going...........

Rounding a corner -- another street walker sees him and says, "..I remember how nice our priests were when I was growing up---how about a blowjob for $25.00???.."

He looks at her -- crosses himself and almost runs across the street towards the parish.

Wouldn't you know it? He literally trips, runs into and knocks down probably the best looking lady in any pimp's stable. As they are getting up - she says "..are you okay Padre and if you are I'll give you a great blow job for $25.00...."

He is almost terrified by now, feels his pulse in his temple pounding and gets up--dusts himself off and runs helter skelter to the rectory.

As he enters the safe environment of the sanctuary - he happens to run into the all knowing Mother Superior and two of her novices. She notices he is out of breath, red around the bright white collar, tattered and torn and shaking almost uncontrollably. She says, "..Father Dennis - Praise be the Almighty - but my goodness ==> what is going on????"

He drops his head for a moment -- then looks into the eyes of each novice -- and finally at Mother Superior.

With a barely audible and almost whispering voice he asks, "...Sister - what's a blowjob??"

She smiles inwardly - looks at each of her novices with a slight little grin -- then looks Father Dennis directly in the eyes and says,
;
;
;
;
;
;
;scroll down
;
;
;
;
;
;
;just a little more
;
;
;
;
;
"twenty-five dollars ===> same as downtown!!.."

[wetvelvetsat]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Gipper @ Feb 3 2010, 12:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

A guy is walking the strip in Las Vegas and a fantastic-looking Vegas ****** catches his eye .

He strikes up a conversation and eventually asks the ******, "How much do you charge?"

The ****** replies, "It starts at $500 for a hand-job."

The guy says, "$500 dollars! For a hand-job! Holy crap! No hand-job is worth that kind of money!"

The ****** says, "Do you see that Denny&#39;s on the corner?"

"Yes."

"Do you see the Denny&#39;s about a block further down?"

"Yes."

"And beyond that, do you see that third Denny&#39;s?"

"Yes."

"Well," says the ******, smiling invitingly, "I own those. And I own them because I give a hand-job that&#39;s worth $500."

So the guy says, "What the hell? You only live once. I&#39;ll give it a try."

They retire to a nearby motel. A short time later, the guy is sitting on the bed realizing that he has just experienced the hand-job of a lifetime, worth every bit of $500.

He is so amazed, he says, "I suppose a blow-job is $1,000?"

The ****** replies, "$1,500."

"I wouldn&#39;t pay that for a blow-job!"

The ****** replies, "Step over here to the window, big boy. Do you see that casino just across the street? I own that casino outright. And I own it because I give a blow-job that&#39;s worth every cent of $1,500."

The guy, basking in the afterglow of that terrific hand-job, decides to put off the new car for another year or so and says, "Sign me up."

Ten minutes later, he is sitting on the bed more amazed than before.

He can scarcely believe it but he feels he truly got his money&#39;s worth.

He decides to dip into the retirement savings for one glorious and unforgettable experience.

He asks the ******, "How much for some pussy?"

The ****** says, "Come over here to the window, I want to show you something.
Do you see how the whole city of Las Vegas is laid out before us: All those beautiful lights, gambling palaces, and shows?

"Damn!" the guy says, in awe, "You own the whole city?" "No" the ****** replies, "but I would.. if I had a pussy."[/b]

Hi,

aheheheheh...that is good one...I sure didn&#39;t expect that type of ending...aheheheh

Sincerely,
Velvet
:P