Cautious But Unreasonable

I can understand a lady tring to be cautious. I'd be scared to death to invite ANYONE to see me, even if I knew them. But for a lady to advertise that she is open to the public, then ask for proof of a guys employment! Race, and age I can understand, but not an actual face pic, or even dick pic. I had a lady ask me for a face pic and a dick pic with 2 fingers being held up in the picture. My gosh, why wouldn't i just give out my real name and address and how you could blackmail me to my work and family. I see ladies on facebook saying 1 more of you guys send me a dick pic, I'm posting it online. I would never send that to anyone. I won't even send 1 to a provider who is asking for 1. Maybe I'm just old school. And I can't blame a lady for tring to be careful. But asking for proof of employment and a face pic, is just over the line, I think. Meet at a safe place like a gas station or something before going behind closed doors. The ladies may feel a little differant about this, but I just can't see sending my real face picture and/or my dick picture, or where I work, to a lady off backpage, (or whatever site).

Never give up more than you are comfortable with someone knowing. I've got a great example of why I won't do face pics. There's a provider here that advertises on STG and her only screening is requiring a face pic. Don't really know how that protects her but I do know that it exposes me. A friend told her about me and that I won't do a face pic but he vouched for me so she tells him to give me her number. I contact here thru text, things are going good and she starts with the face pic again. Told her not happening because I know a shit ton of people here plus have relatives here and I don't know who she is then ended contact.

Then yesterday, I find out my adult niece has a friend that is a provider that only advertises on STG and requires a face pic. Has to be the same woman because they are the same age and I could have exposed my face unknowingly to my niece's friend and in return to my family. So HELL NO I won't send a face, don't care how much I want to meet a lady. You just never know who will see your pic, may even be family. That was too close for my comfort.

See there, that's exactly what I'm talking about. Thanks for the input, RL!

I never send pics of myself. I have references and if that is not enough, so long! When a lady asks for a face pic or any body part of mine, I usually end the conversation not worth my time or effort. Refs are the best way for a lady to protect herself but it seems in some areas any way, such as Atlanta the whole reference system is crumbling because caddy, jealous, envious, ladies think they can hoard customers all to themselves and they stop giving refs or get back with the lady 2 weeks later saying she was out of town or phone was broken, etc. etc.

The women have destroyed their own protection system for momentary, selfish and manipulative intentions. So, how do they combat competitors not giving refs they stop giving them to those ladies etc. etc. And we are now at face pics and employment verification, but the whole problem with that is most smart customers will not comply with those requirements. This is what I hear from ladies in different areas and all of it is heresay, but thought I would share.

A guy would just be asking for trouble if he sent his actual proof of employement to a provider, i think. That's straight up blackmail material, if you ask me. To a self employeed guy, it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but say he works at a Walmart Dist. or a factory. That person could post his picture or even his work badge or whatever on facebook for whoever to see. Most likely causing a divorce or even termanation of employment.

It is convenient to have a cover. Cover as in cover story. Duh, some people's mind.

I can even send a dick picture. Can I borrow one of yours, you being bigger than me and all that.

But when it comes to a face pic, I ain't showing unless the lady is showing and she confirms it is her. Like her ad has several pics and she sends one that is similar to her ad pics but with 2 fingers holding a yellow sticky note with her telephone number on it and asks for a similar one back. THAT is different. I will send a photo of a yellow sticky note held by two fingers with her telephone number written on it.

Better yet, lets meet in the meat section of Wally World, you carry a yellow sticky note and I will bring mine.

OP, you would be well served to take the OP’s advice.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by guitar

Meet at a safe place like a gas station or something before going behind closed doors.

---

busts/stings don't only happen behind closed doors on a meet. if it's a bust you'll just be arrested at the gas station and you'll never make it behind closed doors, if it's a bust.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aNameInGulfport

I can even send a dick picture.

---

so degrading. i'd never ask someone to send me a dick pic as a way to screen them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by aNameInGulfport

lets meet in the meat section of Wally World, you carry a yellow sticky note and I will bring mine.

---

nah, i wouldn't make myself a target like that in case you are L.E.

Got a follow up to the STG girl that wants face pics that is friends with my niece.... TL;DR She's BSC.

Thru a series of circumstances completely unrelated to the hobby world, I met the STG lady over my personal phone today. She has no idea I know who she is and she was calling me because of something pertaining to my niece, just an ordinary call. She talks to me about a couple of situations about my niece and what she is trying to do to help her, etc and it was a decent call. She carries the call on for a little while then, for no real reason, she wants a face pic of me so she can see who she is talking to on the other end. I decline and tell her I don't take pics of myself and send them and she keeps insisting. I still say no and I won't even consider it but she can meet me at my niece's house next time I'm there. And remember, there is NO talk of the hobby world, this is all real world. That's when it gets interesting.

She sends me a request for a video chat and tells me to click it so we can talk face to face, I tell her no, the same rule applies to video chat as face pics, I just don't do it. She insists and even tells me that we have a connection and she really wants to see me, feels love for me and so on, I still say no. Then she breaks down. I thought she was fake crying until I hear her blow her snotty nose and she is full blown breaking down, I mean bawling, snotting, the whole 9 yards just because I wouldn't video chat with her. All this just from talking about my niece and she's gone full goose bozo on me. There's no way in hell I would ever meet this girl in either the hobby or real world. This carries on for several minutes while I try to get her off the phone and now she's begging for me to video chat with her. No way in hell am I going to send a woman my pic that I just met and tells me she loves me. I mean I'm good but damn, not that good!

She redefined Bat Shit Crazy for me and solidified in my mind forever that there's no female I want to meet bad enough to send a face pic. Imagine if I had sent it to her because of STG then met her at my niece's house...holy shit! This is the type of woman that will boil your pet rabbit!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Road Lizard

Got a follow up to the STG girl that wants face pics that is friends with my niece.... TL;DR She's BSC.

Thru a series of circumstances completely unrelated to the hobby world, I met the STG lady over my personal phone today. She has no idea I know who she is and she was calling me because of something pertaining to my niece, just an ordinary call. She talks to me about a couple of situations about my niece and what she is trying to do to help her, etc and it was a decent call. She carries the call on for a little while then, for no real reason, she wants a face pic of me so she can see who she is talking to on the other end. I decline and tell her I don't take pics of myself and send them and she keeps insisting. I still say no and I won't even consider it but she can meet me at my niece's house next time I'm there. And remember, there is NO talk of the hobby world, this is all real world. That's when it gets interesting.

She sends me a request for a video chat and tells me to click it so we can talk face to face, I tell her no, the same rule applies to video chat as face pics, I just don't do it. She insists and even tells me that we have a connection and she really wants to see me, feels love for me and so on, I still say no. Then she breaks down. I thought she was fake crying until I hear her blow her snotty nose and she is full blown breaking down, I mean bawling, snotting, the whole 9 yards just because I wouldn't video chat with her. All this just from talking about my niece and she's gone full goose bozo on me. There's no way in hell I would ever meet this girl in either the hobby or real world. This carries on for several minutes while I try to get her off the phone and now she's begging for me to video chat with her. No way in hell am I going to send a woman my pic that I just met and tells me she loves me. I mean I'm good but damn, not that good!

She redefined Bat Shit Crazy for me and solidified in my mind forever that there's no female I want to meet bad enough to send a face pic. Imagine if I had sent it to her because of STG then met her at my niece's house...holy shit! This is the type of woman that will boil your pet rabbit!

---

Well damn Neo please continue to dodge bullets like that!
She sounds loco.

Dang RL, you should never have sent her that pic of that horse dick of yours. See there, now you have her crying and craving you because of your anatomy. I guess that's another advantage of having a micro peker like I got. The only time I can get a cry is when they actually SEE my face. My girlfriend told me one time that she thought I had a hair down there, til she saw me peeing out of it.

Guitar, just use me as a reference sweetheart. Ive very personal with you and can vouch that you are as endearing and as sweet as they come.

Guys, you are now in an era where a reference is not going to work for you. A board persona, a p411 account, nor 1000s of reviews. Y'all are on the outside of a hazy ass window, looking in and trying to figure out wtf is going on and why we are requiring so much more than we did before 2014.

Let's start with a lady of caliber (reviewed and verified) being robbed after a session has taken place (equal to a form of rape). A username is a fictional name with no life. A reference is just 4 hollow words that mean nothing. A man can be one way with one woman, and wake up another week and book a girl and decide to pull some mischief just to see if he can get away with it. Resulting in the white envelope scheme. Putting monopoly money in it, going the extra mile and bringing flowers, meeting goes as planned and man makes his exit. Lady goes to check the envelope and sees fake money. No name, no information to help other ladies out to look out for rip-off and rape.
THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS TO US WAY TOO MUCH!

Another situation, a lady sees a man a few times and stops accepting arrangements with him because there is something about him that just doesn't sit right with her. He is arrogant, misogynistic and degrading to a woman. The lady that stops seeing him cannot outright blacklist him because he has physically not crossed any boundaries with her, except the way she feels in his company. Another lady sees him down the line and gets beat within an inch of her life and the other woman feels guilty because she felt like "if only I had blacklisted him."

Something to put into retrospect- we put ourselves at risk every day, to take a moment in time to help Y'ALL relax. Y'all need to understand that we are not out to sabotage your home lives, your careers or whatever it is that you have.
WE ARE MOTHERS, DAUGHTERS, SISTERS, AUNTS, GRANDMOTHERS, WIVES or GIRLFRIENDS. Our lives and safety matter too.

Versus saying all the blah blah blah...we are not gonna...
Simply ask that she respect your wishes for a pic for a pic. If she says no, move on.
Ask if you could meet her in a neutral spot, in a safe area and buy her a coffee, if she says no, move on.
Ask her for her personal website, if she does not have one and you cant find a solid lead that you feel safe about, move on.
If you cannot afford her rates, move on.

This game is about keeping each other safe. We both need each other in order for the fun to maintain its balance.

I hope this finds all of you having an amazing weekend

Guys your making this way more complicated than it has to be. If a provider ask you for more information than your willing to share simply move on to another provider.

I think you guys forget that its you that have the power in the provider/client dynamic. You have the money. She wants the money. If a provider ask to much from you just walk away. You can give your money to anyone you want. Thats the beauty of this hobby nobody can tell you how to spend your money. If you want to only see 20 year old black girls you can do it. If you only want to see 60 year old Asian ladies thats your right. If you only want to see women who dont require a picture or any of your real world information guess what you can do that to. The person paying for the service has the ultimate say.

All that said you cant blame a girl for wanting to be safe. In the same manner a girl cant blame a client for wanting to be safe also. I have heard almost as many stories from clients having a girl try to or actually blackmailing them as I have heard stories from providers who were robbed raped or otherwise harmed by clients. So it goes both ways and I can understand both sides. You have to try and find a happy middle and hope for the best. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done to satisfy both parties and when that happens its best just to move on.

For me I will not share a picture nor will I give out my real world info or any of my business info. I usually wont even give out my handle as I dont want my person to be identified with my handle by providers. So with most girls even if I see them on oh2 or another hobby board or add site I will tell them I got their info from their stg add or a friend and that I am not a member of any hobby boards. This is two fold. Usually a girl expects clients who make use of hobby boards to pay more and two I dont want girls to know who basscat is. Some do and thats ok but the vast majority of girls have seen bc and have no idea they have as I haven't used my handle to see girls in many years. Ever since the fosta/sesta debacle I have tried to distance myself from anything that could have legal connotations down the road. So bc quit seeing ladies and now just writes fiction for creative writing purposes.

In a nutshell dont do anything that makes you uncomfortable. That goes both for the gents as well as the ladies.

In a nutshell, I have balls to say it, that which other ladies wont speak, but deal with on a daily basis as well...THE SLOBBYIST MENTALITY (Napoleonic arrogance and a misogynistic outlook)

Basscat's monger mentality is that of a SLOBBYIST, which is what the vast majority of us detest. The ones who have this mentality are the ones who make it harder for the good guys.

Don't get me wrong, Basscat is a great person outside of the demi-monde. But wrong in his old school mentality.

Basscat, you need to stop thinking that you run this show with this thought process of the man holds the money lmfao.
Seriously. It makes you look like a tyrant!

ComputerWise, how do you think a reference keeps a lady safe?
Did you know that the only thing majority of other ladies say are words? Yes, I have seen him or He is okay or If he mentioned me, yes I have seen him. Nothing more.
If you were in our shoes, would this make you feel safe allowing another individual access to your space, your body or your life?
We have not destructed our own systems of safety. LE and informants have. Politics have. Men that lie have. Men that continuously abuse this privilege have.
We still do give references but we accept them with a grain of salt, because one persons experience has no relevance to the other ladies potential experience with you.
Then you have another statistic that you are reading about in the papers.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KynsleyMorgan

In a nutshell, I have balls to say it, that which other ladies wont speak, but deal with on a daily basis as well...THE SLOBBYIST MENTALITY (Napoleonic arrogance and a misogynistic outlook)

Basscat's monger mentality is that of a SLOBBYIST, which is what the vast majority of us detest. The ones who have this mentality are the ones who make it harder for the good guys.


Don't get me wrong, Basscat is a great person outside of the demi-monde. But wrong in his old school mentality.

Basscat, you need to stop thinking that you run this show with this thought process of the man holds the money lmfao.
Seriously. It makes you look like a tyrant!

---

I fail to see why my comments cause you to slander me but so be it. Thats your right if you so choose. I can get my point across without calling anyone names. My point is simple. If someone is not comfortable with the information someone is asking they divulge in order to see them simply see someone else. When you buy goods or services it up to the purchaser to decide where they spend their money. If a girl is asking for more information that your comfortable providing pass her over and move on to the next. Thats all I am saying. Its the basis for a free market economy.

KM I have no idea who pissed in your cheerios but I assure it wasnt me. You can call me any name you want but the fact of the matter is the person selling the goods is dependent on the person buying them. If the person buying the goods chooses to shop elsewhere you can not force them to give you their money. They have every right to take their money elsewhere. If a girl is asking for more that I am willing to give then I take my money somewhere else. If that makes me a Slobbyist then so be it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KynsleyMorgan

ComputerWise, how do you think a reference keeps a lady safe?
Did you know that the only thing majority of other ladies say are words? Yes, I have seen him or He is okay or If he mentioned me, yes I have seen him. Nothing more.
If you were in our shoes, would this make you feel safe allowing another individual access to your space, your body or your life?
We have not destructed our own systems of safety. LE and informants have. Politics have. Men that lie have. Men that continuously abuse this privilege have.
We still do give references but we accept them with a grain of salt, because one persons experience has no relevance to the other ladies potential experience with you.
Then you have another statistic that you are reading about in the papers.

---

I have no issue with a lady screening until her heart is content I just wont divulge my personal information. If a lady requires me to send a face pic or a copy of my id or something ridiculous then I see another lady. I dont think anyone would fault a lady for wanting to be safe but there are limits on what I am willing to give a stranger. Especially when you consider this line of work. Providing is not at the top of career paths that would be voted most trustworthy profession. Just think of how many guys pay for a woman's services ahead of time just to have the lady keep the money and make up excuses why she never followed through with the appointment. This happens all the time by providers who say they are reputable and trustworthy. I will not take any chances giving a stranger who sells ass for a living my personal info and a picture of myself. I will just see another provider who can feel safe screening me without requiring so much of my personal information.

- - - Updated - - -

Quote:

---

Guitar, just use me as a reference sweetheart. Ive very personal with you and can vouch that you are as endearing and as sweet as they come.

---

Thanks Ms. Kynsley!!!!!!

This thread took a weird turn... anyway, everyone has their own perspective and their own comfort levels on how much info they will require/will give and neither is wrong, just got to stay in your own safe zone. If it's not comfortable for you then don't do it. And one thing about staying in your own zone, not everyone will like it and it may even get you labeled a certain way, flattering or not. Shit happens, own it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Road Lizard

This thread took a weird turn... anyway, everyone has their own perspective and their own comfort levels on how much info they will require/will give and neither is wrong, just got to stay in your own safe zone. If it's not comfortable for you then don't do it. And one thing about staying in your own zone, not everyone will like it and it may even get you labeled a certain way, flattering or not. Shit happens, own it.

---

I agree. No harm no foul. I think Kynsley took what I said out of context or something because I wasnt trying to attack her in anyway and if I did somehow come off that way I am sorry I did not mean to. All I was saying is that as the ones purchasing a product its up to us gents to spend our funds wherever we see fit. If a lady ask you for more information than you are comfortable providing just move on to the next one.

If any of you actually knew me in my real life you would agree that I am a slob. So its no huge stretch to call me a slobbiets. Actually I dont think of myself that way but have no control over what other people think of me. I like and respect providers and in my nearly 30 years and over one thousand ladies seen have never had a lady go on a board and say I have ever lied cheated stole or caused any harm to them during a visit. I have had a few ladies that I have had spats with on boards over the years due to me calling them out on false advertising or my leaving a truthful review that was not so kind to a lady (but never mean or spiteful). Thats to be expected considering how long I have done this. I stand by my reputation. I am not everyone's cup of tea but I try to be fair and honest and actually live by the edict of not saying anything at all if not having anything nice to say. I dont feel I have to say anymore than the above.