Just wondering how many guys out there wouldn't mind your girlfriend being an escort?
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Just wondering how many guys out there wouldn't mind your girlfriend being an escort?
If you were my GF I wouldn't mind at all.
Such an arrangement doesn’t work for a variety of reasons. I don’t know the statistics but I would say a very, very high percentage fail.
I don't know that the label "girlfriend" in the conventional wisdom sense perfectly applies, but I've had some fantastic OTC hang-out times with providers I have hit it off with. I have an SO, which limits my parameters. That said, the arrangements that evolved with said providers was not as formal as a traditional girlfriend, per se. But, they were based on chemistry, attraction, and some measure of common interest. They also involved getting together on a consistent basis over a period of time, though I wouldn't quite call what we did "dating". They were also similar to RW relationships in that they followed an emotional arc beginning with an initial infatuation period, some settling in, eventual fussing over this that or the other, growing apart, and an eventual end.
Personally, I had great times in each of these dalliances. As a matter of fact, I got a lil something special going on right now that is currently in its early infatuation phase. Honestly, I enjoy consorting with escorts more than I do civvies for a variety of reasons. The sex is better. They are not as pretentious. I don't have to hide my hobbying from them. They are not uptight about me having an SO and understand how that limits my parameters. They know how to party. For me, having an escort fuck buddy offers most of the best things that a RW relationship does without all the stifling protocol.
Shit man, I still miss hanging out with every one of the hobby fuck buddies I have taken up with over the years. Don't get me wrong, there were some harrowing moments in all of these situations and they all ended for entirely legitimate reasons. But, my recollections are by and large good ones. Ol' JS thanks each and every one of the ladies I have been fortunate enough to share this adventure with.
Peace, Love, and #BHILF
JS
I wouldn’t mind as long as she was ok with me continuing to see providers until she retired.
I have dated ladies from all avenues from the hobby, ( strippers / agency / indies etc ) Personally i have found that for me at least they were some of the most honest relationships i have had. We all walked in knowing everything about each other ...... i will state that the strippers were more booty call type relationships and the indies were more gfe relationships.
only one became what i could call a normal relationship ie we both retired,, it worked for a while but we grew apart and moved on ..
Not opposed to it at all. An escort is a woman and I'm attracted to women. I care about intelligence, compatibility, kindness, etc, as well as their bodies. The escorting is just one facet of their lives. Their profession. I would proudly go out with an escort. Plus, it would be fun to say "my girlfriend brings joy into the life of everyone she touches" with a knowing smirk.
However, if I were to have an escort as a girlfriend, there are rules that I have.
First, if she gets variety, I get variety. If she's able to have sex with other people, professional setting or not, then I get the ability to get some on the side, as well, without having to be guilt tripped. I have no desire to rub her face in this, though. Hell, if we connect enough, I may not even desire to do it. But I will have this open to me.
Second, I want to fuck her. I understand if you have a rough day at the office and you're not really in the mood. I'm more than willing to cut you some slack there from time to time. But you can't not fuck me. If I love you, I want to fuck you.
Last, I want at least one day a week where she doesn't work and that's exclusively for us. No work or work talk from either of us.
I think all of this is fair.
I've hung out or dated several hobbyist in the past. As long as we keep it real and fun it worked.great. We can be ourselves, talk and play......friend ...sugar daddy.....client....
Getting interesting already.
Y'all are taking her (job) as a means to negotiate/demand time with other escorts within an emotional relationship. You get to pick & choose the escort but she doesn't get to pick and choose her job assignments when it comes to work. Some of you act like her job is an automatic passage to have an (open) relationship when she wants an exclusive man that loves her without mixing the lines of true love/infidelity.
A male gynecologist examines pussies all day so his fiancee decides to play with cocks as a way to level the working situation. He wouldn't be pleased with that insult.
I have no problem with it at all. I dated a woman who was a provider and it was one of the best relationships I ever had , we dated for a few years .It ended because she moved back home to the West Coast and I didn't want to relocate, we still talk and she is an awesome friend. Like it was mentioned earlier it was great because we knew everything about each other so didn't have to hide shit.
You are looking for a traditional boyfriend situation who is cool with you being an escort. I ain't mad at you, Girl. I reckon that's out there, too.
For the record, Ol' JS's adventures have been light and flexible on the boundaries side in both directions. I ain't tried to make demands or change no one. Also, I understood from jump that these ladies needed to work and I made it a point not to get in the way of they money. Me and these ladies was kicking it solely based on the mutual enjoyment of each other's company. Shit got twisted on me when it was them got out of this lane. That, in a nutshell, is how my dalliances have played out.
Peace, Love, and #BHILF
JS
interesting question, Jasmine Starr
Following lol
I was being sarcastic, lol...next time it will be in parenthesis so y'all know. The point was made that work details aren't to be compared to an actual personal relationship. Some men think that relationships are only about sex. NOT!!!
Lust & Love are two different elements.
I would never manipulate a personal relationship based on sex. According to some of these conditions I read in this thread, the dude would (OWE $$)to his girlfriend for sex.
In the real world he doesn't pay his gf but when it comes to a sex worker he wants to change/alter the relationship.
Except you can pick and choose who you let book an appointment no? NBA policies?
I don’t think a gynecologist would have any issue dating a urologist and neither would I. A gynecologist isn’t “playing” around going around daty his patients or deriving sexual enjoyment from his job. They are there for medical reasons.
Ive always viewed relationships as both partners being equal. If your job requires you to be physically intimate with others, but emotionally exclusive with me, then why shouldn’t it be fair to see other providers for variety but still remain emotionally exclusive to you?
Both partners equal?
Are you going to be earning money and paying your bills with what you earn from your affairs?
Can I go outside my job and outside the relationship to get pleasured any time I want by anyone I want and NOT HAVE TO GET PAID FOR IT?
And I owe you no explanation or responsibility for your emotions when I fuck who I want on my spare time?
Cause that is what you are saying that you are allowed to do, and you are saying both partners are equal.
And how is that still being emotionally exclusive to a lady when you are not taking her feelings into consideration? And the lady no longer has to have consideration for yours.
And also, a gynecologist has medical reasons for working, but the ladies that do this work are just "playing' around?
That is what you think about ladies who do this job? We are just "playing" around? What we do isn't a serious job.
You guys still can't wrap your head around the fact that this is a job and this is what an escort does for work, and what's worse, is you have no respect for it and think it gives you a free ticket to run around on a lady who does this for a living and don't give a fuck about her emotions, cause she just "plays around" and doesn't have a real and serious job like a medical doctor.
And when you say a lady can pick and choose who she books an appointment with, do you think Brad Pitt or George Clooney is coming around to book appointments all day? What kind of men do you think we see all day?
^^^BINGO
Why does a medical worker earn the right of having their emotions and feelings respected in a personal relationship but an escort doesn't?
Because she had intercourse?
An escort has less rights in their personal relationships due to the nature of their work?
How is it any less of a job and why does one profession earn the right to be treated differently in the course of their personal relationship than the other?
So it’s ok for you to be physically unfaithful, but not your partner because it’s part of your job. Well hate to break it to you there are plenty of other jobs out there that don’t involve having to have sex. Plenty of providers have retired from the biz.
No one is disrespecting your profession or saying it’s not a serious job.
Sorry you find your clients ugly and unfuckable.
I seem to remember a certain provider mentioning that she finds the beauty in all her clients by looking in the inside, but can’t recall who it was
Probably the same reason male pornstars have a hard time finding relationships as well. Comes with the territory of the profession.
No you are saying its ok for a man to be physically unfaithful because of the job I do.
And I am telling you that if you believe in equality then I have the right to treat a man who treats me in that manner in just the same way.
I can fuck who ever I want on my own free time too and I don't have to get paid for it, I can even pay someone else if I want, cause that is what you are saying a man has a right to do to me.
But men sure don't like that when the shoe is on the other foot.
Yes, there are other jobs out there. So what you are saying is that in order for a man to respect that he cannot sleep around on me I must go out and get another job? How is that NOT disrespecting my profession when you are saying so long as I do this job I deserve to be fucked around on? How is that even respecting me as a person?
And you are the one saying my clients are ugly and unfuckable, not me. I like how you threw this last bit in because you basically saying a woman like me will never deserve monogamy so long as I choose to be a part of this profession and since you have clearly laid out how my job is not on a level playing field of other people with respectable professions, you are now going to attempt to take a low jab and throw in there that I also fuck ugly and unfuckable clients when I clearly never said any such thing?
Anything else you want to tell me about my job, my clients, or the lot I deserve in life?
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Does it come with the territory of the profession or does it come with attitude of people outside of the profession who maintain a failure to see how those within the profession deserve the same rights as others?
I could never in a million years imagine telling a man that because his job involves xyz, I now get a free pass to do abc.
If I felt a man held a of job of any sort that that somehow gave me a free pass to run around on him, I would leave him because if he wasn't man enough to stand up for himself and say that he deserved to be treated just like any other person that works in any other industry, I wouldn't be able to respect him. And if he allowed me to run around on him, then he doesn't respect himself.
If I can't respect him, then I damn sure don't love him.
My job doesn't define how I deserve to be treated as a human being, it is simply a means to put food on the table. And if a man can't respect that no matter what kind of job I do, I demand the same rights in a relationship as anyone who works any other job, then he can pack his shit and don't let the door hit him in his ass on the way out.
The problem is NOT my job...
Looks to me like porn stars are doing fine in relationships. Men know up front what they are getting into and they don't manipulate love for LUST
https://www.google.com/amp/s/stillun...d-normal-lives
https://www.google.com/amp/s/stillun....com/mjGKSlI4]
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You hit right on the head Chloe. I happen to disagree with Fallout4 , guess I am just different with my outlook on it than some of the gents on this board. Like I said I have dated women in this profession and knew damn well that is what they did for their living and was fine with it. I did not see other providers when I was dating them, not to say that every now and then they wouldn't bring a friend by so we could all have fun together but that is different if it is something they want to share with me. If I am with someone I have feeling for then I won't see anyone else. When I was married I completely gave up hobbying and didn't do it till after my divorce.
To be honest, I don't really think anyone within the hobby should be dating. It's too complicated. I think if people wanna date they both need to leave the hobby.
But it drives me bonkers to hear these guys say they would love to date a provider and that they also get a free pass to sleep around on them. Well of course that sounds like a great deal to them - free sex from the provider in the relationship and plus they want to go out and get pussy on the side!
They pretty much only think about what's in it for them and they don't give a shit about the lady they are sleeping around on.
And your statement - If I am with someone I have feelings for then I won't see anyone else.
I agree. If I am in love with someone then I don't want anyone else.
Okay, I'm bored and I'll bite. I always enjoy a lively subject.
You don't get to pick? What about screening? Some people actually request photos of clients as part of this process. If you REALLY wanted to, you could do it and only take meetings with the more handsome of us. :D
But just like you can have physically relationships without emotional involvement, men can, too. The male gyno comparison was already tackled.
I think quite a few of the hobbyists here understand, recognize and respect escorts.
It sounds like you just want a guy who would just be 100% OK with you fucking dozens or potentially hundreds of different men in the course of a year while he can only get physical satisfaction from you. If so, that's ridiculous. In what may be a newsflash, most men in exclusive relationships don't want their SOs fucking ANYONE except for them. In return, they don't fuck anyone else. That's how it goes traditionally. Of course, escorting is not traditional. What you all are really after is a man to uphold the traditional dating/relationship norms while being able to do whatever the fuck you want.
You're already looking for a man who is comfortable enough with himself to commit to you regardless of how many random dudes cum in your mouth AND be willing to kiss you when you get home, but you won't even meet him halfway and let him get some on the side sometimes? That seems really damn selfish to me.
The job of an escort makes it literally impossible to be physically faithful to a man.
What you seem to want boils down to:
Traditional:
Man & Woman: Mentally and Physically Exclusive
What you want:
Man: Mentally and Physically Exclusive
Woman: Mentally Exclusive
It's also quite humorous that some of you are trying to pretend that this job is like any other. There's no other job on the planet that touches on one of the most basic foundations of relationships like this one. That's why I believe that openness and compromise are so important. Or find someone who's open to a lopsided arrangement. I don't disparage anyone for entering such a relationship, though. There's very likely someone out there for it. Just not for me.
Or we can do the traditional relationship. I'm 100% fine with that, too.
But I do hope you all are able to find what you seek. It's already hard enough to find what you're looking for normally without the extra hurdles.
^ Well stated ^
NO you cherry picked quotes from what I said to support your idea that you can use a provider for free sex while you get all the pussy you want on the side.
And then you want to say some some nasty shit to me like "regardless of how many random dudes cum in your mouth AND be willing to kiss you when you get home, but you won't even meet him halfway and let him get some on the side sometimes" and then call ME selfish.
How is what you just said respectful at all?
You guys have zero respect for ladies in this line of work.
You already saw what I posted about both people leaving the hobby because it was the post right before this one, but you still decided to cherry pick quotes of mine and say shitty things to me and call me selfish, but I will post the quote again.
But like you said, I should let random dudes cum in my mouth and I should also let any man who comes into my life sleep around on me and ignore that I am a human being with feelings in any sense and he has any right to do whatever he wants cause I am a ***** and a selfish person.
Got it.
Before this devolves any further. Relationships are inherently complicated. What people expect/want/need or the amount of effort they put in is different from person to person. You just need to find someone compatible with you that you can see eye with.
We’re all humans and each of us deserves to carve out a little happy spot on this spinning rock.
No, (just being honest) I'm too insecure. Then again, I would be insecure if my girlfriend would be a Hooters waitress. My feelings aren't against the women, I respect what they do, my feelings are on me and knowing guys were hitting on them all day long.
Just know that in my history, having providers saved a marriage, not destroyed it.
The Hypocrisy is DEEP as bullshit at a rodeo.
Who's "using a provider for free sex"? In this scenario, aren't you my girlfriend? When you're in a relationship, that's just called "sex".
However, you are right. I was a bit crude in what I said. What I meant to say what "regardless of how many esteemed gentlemen of the community expel pent-up frustration and ejaculate majestically into your goddess-like oral cavity" instead. :p
Your post about both people leaving the hobby holds no water to the original argument. If you both leave the hobby, then you are no longer an escort and he is no longer a hobbyist. In that case, the traditional relationship rules would apply for me. If a woman was willing to be 100% emotionally and physically faithful to me, then I definitely wouldn't be on here.
The rest of this just sounds like a temper tantrum because everybody doesn't want to bend over backwards to accommodate you.
That's nowhere near what I said, but I find it so cute that you thought it was.
Don't make me send you to your room! :p
Accommodate me? I said I don't date hobbyists and people who date should leave the hobby.
You are saying I am throwing a temper tantrum cause I am not going to support your idea of using a provider for free sex while you fuck other women?
It sounds more like you are having a tantrum when you are the one calling me selfish and saying nasty things like I am having random men cum in my mouth cause I don't want to support your cause to use women in this industry simply because of the work they choose. Who is having the tantrum?
I have not engaged in saying disrespectful things towards you.
And I literally cannot understand why any women wouldn't want to be 100% emotionally and physically faithful to you....you are a real winner.
The rest of your response is a shitty, condescending, demeaning, and a sarcastic joke.
I am putting you on ignore because you clearly have no respect for me and I am not entertaining you.
Isn't a provider paid to be a professional and NOT to have feelings or emotions? Isn't that what you pay a provider for? You get to fuck her and then go do what you want?
So if you are sleeping with her for free in a relationship, and then you say you are going to go sleep with other women and she has no say about it and cannot have any feelings or emotions about it one way or another, then are you not basically enjoying the professionalism of a provider for free and she is not allowed to display any feelings?
If you are going to sleep with women on the side, then you might as well just pay the provider you are in a "relationship" with so you can do what you want without strings attached.
If you are going to have a girlfriend, then you are going to have to deal with her feelings.
As I said, in my opinion, I think both parties need to leave the hobby to be able to pursue an uncomplicated relationship.