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My favorite joke of all time. If your parents raised you catholic, you will understand.
Three nuns were in line for confession. The first nun entered the confessional, knelt, and said: “Bless me father, for I have sinned. Yesterday I saw a man’s holy organ.” The priest said: “Sister, go forth, say three Hail Marys, and wash your eyes in holy water.” The nun then exited.
The second nun entered the confessional, knelt, and said: “Bless me father for I have sinned. Yesterday I touched a man’s holy organ.” The priest told her: “Sister, go forth, say ten Hail Marys, and wash your hands in holy water.” The nun then exited.
The scene shifts to the restroom, where the first two nuns are washing their eyes and hands. The third nun enters and says: “Move over girls, I gotta gargle.”
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What did the egg say to the boiling water?!
- Don't expect me to get hard right the way, I was just laid this morning.:cheerleader:
In the version of this that I heard, there were four nuns, and after the first two are asked to wash their eyes and hands respectively, the fourth nun pushes her way in front of the third and says, "Let me go next! I don't wanna have to gargle after Sister Frances washes her ass in the holy water!"
If attacked by a gang of clowns,
go for the jugglar.
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:quickey::quickey:
Now that’s funny, Ava.
Fifty plus years ago I took a new girlfriend to see Neil Diamond in concert. Neil’s opening act was comedian Albert Brooks. Albert told one of the funniest jokes I ever heard. Then or since.
Albert remembered when he was in school, sitting at his desk, when he had the uncontrollable urge to fart. When he finally yielded, he magically turned his $50 desk into a $1,000 amplifier.
Can you relate?
https://youtu.be/p6uFHC9lfzk
A man and his wife are ordered to seek marriage counseling prior to being granted a divorce.
The Counselor asked the couple: Tell me something you both have in common?
Husband: Well, neither one of us suck dick!