Happy Hump Day!
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Happy Hump Day!
Attachment 407291
[QUOTE=Mitch P;583745]Q: what did the cannibal do after dumping his wife?
A: whip his ass[/QUOT
Q: Why do rodeo cowboys make such lousy lovers?
A: Because they think 8 seconds is a good ride.
Q: What did the Elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that little thing?
Q: What do you get when you mix a pitbull whit a collie?
A: A dog that will chew your arm off and then run for help.
A businessman was sentenced to prison for a white-collar crime and was scared shitless from all the stories he had heard about prison life. The day of his incarceration finally came and he was led to his cell.
His cellmate was a huge, mouth-breathing near-Neanderthal with one massive eyebrow and knuckles that dragged on the floor. He looked at his new cellie and said, “You want to be the husband or the wife?”
The businessman was terrified but thought that he might try for what he thought would be the lesser of the evils. “I’ll be the husband,” he replied.
”OK,” the ogre replied. “Get over here and suck your wife’s dick.”
Q: What do they call kids born in *****houses?
A: Brothel sprouts
--A guy walks into a bar and says to the woman bartender, "Hey babe, Anheuser Busch?"
And she replies, "Fine, and how's your dick?"
No offense to my blonde ladies, i love you all lotsa licks and kisses!
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A: Put a Scratch and sniff sticker in the bottom of the pool
Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
A: We know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all fours, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her tits, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 8 seconds."
Does anybody remember a while back when there was a rumor going around about Richard Gere and a gerbil. Goggle it. My favorite two jokes at that time.
1. Did you here Richard Gere went to Disney Land? Now they can’t find Mickey Mouse.
2. Why don’t gerbils make good cars? Because you can’t get them out of Gere.
And another oldie not related
Did you hear about the Ethiopian guy that fell into a crocodile pit? He ate seven of them before they could get him out.
Remember the news group Alt.Gerbil.XXXXX Mitch. Alot of Gere references there.
Can't mention the XXXXX since it involves an item from the hardware store and I think rules have something about animals.
I know it's not Hump Day, but if I don't post now, I'll forget AGAIN and the vicious cycle continues, lol
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack"
"No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet"
Q. Why don't guys like to preform oral sex on a woman the morning after sex?
A. Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
Why don't hillbillies like reverse cowgirl?
You NEVER turn your back on family!
Two guys pass a dog that's licking his balls. One guy says wistfully, "I wish I could do that."
The other guy quips, "Go ahead, he looks friendly!"
Hopefully will remember to further contribute on an actual Wednesday :rolling:
^^^Banjo music is playing