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God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven.
The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman a month later to see how she was getting on.
"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but one time I bent over to get some stuff out of the freezer and my boyfriend made love to me right then and there."
"They don't like that in heaven", said God.
The woman replied: "They're not too happy about it in Costco either!”
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Postage stamps
A blond goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong; I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.
The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said "Those aren’t postage stamps my dear, they're the sticker's off the bananas"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
SOULMANIKE
A blond goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong; I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina.
The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said "Those aren’t postage stamps my dear, they're the sticker's off the bananas"
Lmao Chiquita bananas lmao .... Im guessing. :bouncing:
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Him:[during sex] call me names
Her:[panicking] Optimus Prime
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1 Attachment(s)
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1 Attachment(s)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
SOULMANIKE
:dance:
Showed this to my sisters
Had us in stitches
Turned into 30min of lady table talk
:twothumbs:
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man of steel vs dark knight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Austin Ellen
OMG THIS is soooooo me :lol: AND freaking Slow Ass Drivers :lol:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Austin Ellen
So true... I defiantly lose my shit lmao.....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
Italia DiBella
:dance:
Showed this to my sisters
Had us in stitches
Turned into 30min of lady table talk
:twothumbs:
hahaha this was funny as F LOL
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https://youtu.be/Z1vFEp7BWEs
He’s so damn funny ....” The Elephant in the room”
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